MDNSY Draft
by antiviancrows
Summary: This is an old version of May Death Never Stop You. I've decided to (for now) leave this version up. It would be preferable if you read the new version. This will not be updated any longer.
1. Chapter 1

I woke up with a headache. I had no idea where I was. Didn't I fall asleep in class? So why the hell was I not on an uncomfortable desk? Or anything remotely desk-like, even. In fact, without opening my eyes, this felt remarkably like grass. But I was laying on my backpack. And that backpack was fucking large. And I could hear a distant bustle. Was I outside in the courtyard? Who the fuck even managed to lift me and move me? I mean, I understand playing a prank on me, but I am not a light person to lift, and my backpack is probably heavier than I am. I sit up, my head spinning and my stomach twisting uncomfortably. I shrugged my shoulders out of my backpack and scurried a few feet away, to a conveniently placed bush and puked out the entire contents of my stomach. I pushed my hair out my face and backed away before I could start gagging again.

I took a moment to look around while I was digging around in my backpack for the gum I knew was in there somewhere. All of a sudden, it hit me. I wasn't at school anymore. I was torn between the desire to cheer and the overwhelming panic that threatened to swamp me.

My phone was still, luckily, in my jacket pocket, and I pulled it out. I was leaning towards the panic option when it wouldn't turn on, although I distinctly remember it dying in class. My laptop was in my bag as well, so I pulled that out. The time was frozen at 9:25 a.m., which was when I had last checked it in class, and I let out a groan. I concentrated on taking deep, even breaths instead of actually hyperventilating. I forgot about the gum as I jerked the zipper closed on my backpack and put it on. I was glad I had worn moderately comfortable shoes; the nearest structure was kind of far away. Strangely, it was a ruin, and there were people swarming it. Where the hell had I ended up, and wasn't this a little too far for a prank? Because I didn't exactly recognize this ruin.

As I got closer, I saw the people had swords. Actual, factual swords, not the shitty props, and armor. Real armor. Where the fuck was I and where could I get some of that armor? Then I noticed the stairs. Lots and lots of stairs, and I had a backpack that weighed more than a small child. Goddammit. I braced myself, and then jogged up about three of them before walking normally. I noticed I was getting a lot of strange looks, and I don't know if it was because the largeness of my backpack or the strangeness of my clothes compared to everyone else. I approached the first person I saw who wasn't walking, and I felt a little bit like puking again. Social anxiety was real fun, guys, lemme tell you. "Hi, um, I'm sorry to bother you but could you maybe tell me where I am? I, uh, got lost. Really, really lost," I say. I had meant to talk like, well, a normal person, but my voice came out as a squeak. Goddammit. The man looked at me strangely, but he answered. "You're at Ostagar, friend, in the Korcari Wilds," and I freeze. Ostagar? Korcari Wilds? Isn't that a little….Dragon Age-y?

This was probably all a dream, I decided. I was back in English class, sleeping on the desk, with a teacher who was probably 200% done with my shit right now, and friends who are drawing things on my face as I sleep. And when I woke up, I would laugh about how silly and crazy this dream is, and then I will go about my incredibly boring day and try my best not to fall asleep again. With that thought, the panic subsided. It was a dream, so everything was okay. But since it was a dream, I wondered if I could change things from the canon of the game. I got a little distracted when I saw the kennel master, standing with the dogs. He completely ignored me, and I supposed it was because I wasn't going to be a Grey Warden so the taint could spread to me, or maybe he just didn't see me, but since I could see him, I could see the dogs, and they were huge. It was easily two hundred pounds of dog in single mabari, and I wanted six.

I was looking for Duncan, but I ran into King Cailan first. And I mean literally, too. I had stumbled, and was looking down at the ground to make sure I wasn't going to stumble again, and my face smacked into something that was very, very gold, and I bounced off. I backed away and looked up, and I nearly cried when I saw who I'd ran into. "Sh...Sorry," I squeak, my face turning red. I turned to run away when he reached out, grabbing my arm, and anchoring me in place. There was no way I'd be able to yank my arm out of his grip unless I ripped my arm off. "You...Who are you?" he asked. Oh, fuck. How would I explain this one? "I'm, uh, Tali. Tali Shepard," I say, and I wince a little inside. I hadn't wanted to give my actual name because I hate my actual name, but really? Tali Shepard? I'd never even romanced Tali when I played Mass Effect! "You don't look like you're from here, Miss Shepard," he says, suspiciously narrowing his eyes. Oh, fuck, it really didn't help that whenever I played Dragon Age, all I saw was 'puppy' when I looked at Cailan. I swallowed heavily. "I am not," I answered, as steadily as I could, but it was getting a little harder to breathe. "What are you doing at Ostagar?" he asks. "I was running from the darkspawn horde. I didn't know where I was going, only that I was running and had to get away. When I saw Ostagar, and saw the people, I thought perhaps I could find some semblance of safety. I know that is not the case, however," I answer, my eyes staring at my feet. I really didn't know how I was going to explain this. "How do you know that you aren't safe here? It is my duty to protect my people," Cailan says.

"I'm a seer. The coming battle will not end well. I can tell you more, if you like, but I insist I do so in private. There are a number of things I can use to prove that I am a seer, as well," I say, and I take a deep breath. Who knew playing so much Dragon Age would come in handy, even if it was only a dream. "Very well, Miss Shepard. I will go speak to Teryn Loghain-" Cailan begins, and then I interrupt him. "I ask that you do not mention me to Loghain," I say, and Cailan gives me a puzzled look. "I know things, remember? Unless we can change the course of the future, then you will thank me if you listen to me," I say. In all honesty, I felt a grudging respect for Loghain. I believed that the guy deserved a shot of redemption. But I also did not want him putting a bounty on my head and trying to kill me, even if this was a dream, and I had never quite managed being able to control my dreams. "Very well, then, Miss Shepard. Until I am ready to speak to you, however, I do insist that you remain under guard. It is nothing against you personally," Cailan said. "Of course. I would be upset if you didn't insist. Although, perhaps I could go see a healer while I wait?" I ask. He doesn't even ask why. He just calls in a couple of stone-faced guards who lead me away silently.


	2. Chapter 2

It was an hour before King Cailan called me back to his tent to speak with him. In that time, the healer had gotten rid of my headache, and the guards led me to the mess hall. The food wasn't free, and I didn't have any money, but one of the guards talked the cook into letting me eat for free, since I had a very important meeting with the King coming up and I had been fleeing the darkspawn. The food was surprisingly good, and after I ate, I even had enough time to do my makeup before Cailan called me back. This was surprisingly detailed and realistic for a dream; I had to redo my eyeliner six times before I got it right.

King Cailan dismissed the guards as soon as I was brought back to his tent. They shared a look with each other, and then glared at me. "Don't worry. I'm not the fighting or killing type. I'd injure myself if I tried to attack him, not that I ever would," I said, and the guard who'd talked the cooks into feeding me nodded, seemingly satisfied with my assurances. They turned and left, and Cailan ushered me inside his tent.

The light inside was dim, after the tent flap fell shut behind Cailan, and I suddenly realized that we were alone. For some reason, I was surprised. Even though I had asked for a private audience with Cailan, I'd thought he'd keep at least one guard with him. "Well, Ser Shepard, I suggest you begin talking. Emergencies seem to rise up quite often that involve me," he says. "Right. Yeah. Of course. So...listen, I'm probably going to sound really crazy to you. I'm a seer, but I've also traveled very, very far, as you can probably tell by my clothes and my pack. I could show you some of the things I have with me to prove this, if you like," I say, and my words come out in a rush. Man, I really need to get better at this whole talking to people thing. "I think I'd like that, Ser Shepard," he says. I grin. "Please, just call me Shepard," I answer, and shrug my pack off. "As you wish, Shepard," Cailan responds, a faint smile on his face.

"Right, well, the first thing that proves I've traveled a very long way is my pack itself. It's nothing like that packs in Ferelden, or anywhere else in Thedas, is it?" I say. Cailan picks it up effortlessly, and I wrinkle my nose. The damned thing is nearly too heavy for me to carry, and he's over here picking it up without a second thought. "It is very strange. What are these?" he asks, his finger running along the zipper. "It's called a zipper. It's how you open the pack," I say, moving forward and showing him. He looks stunned. "That's...genius!" he breaths, and I bite back my grin. "Back where I got this, zippers like this are on lots of things. They're used on packs, such as this, and even some items of clothing," I say. "Can you show me some of the clothes it's used on?" he asks. I reach down into my backpack and pull out my jacket. "Yeah, here," I say, holding it out to him. "What...what is this?" he asks. "It's a jacket. It goes over your other clothes to keep you warm. Let me show you," I say, pulling it back out of his hands and shrugging it on. I zip it up for added measure. "Is it effective at keeping you warm?" he asks. "Depends on how cold it is. Generally, though, it works for me," I say. He reaches up and unzips it, and for a moment I feel like a five year old again. "And it works just like that?" he asks. "Yep. You don't have to wear it zipped up, of course, but that makes it warmer," I say.

"Well, I think that's enough. I believe you. You come from far, far away, and you have lots of wonderful things to show for it. But, you said you're a seer. What did you want to tell me?" he asks. I take a deep breath and look for a chair. There isn't one, so I sit on the ground in front of him. "You might want to sit. This is...pretty big news. You might not even want to believe me," I say. I wait for a moment for Cailan to sit on the edge of his cot, and I have no idea how the man walks around in heavy armor all the time. He looks at me expectantly. "The battle is tonight, yes?" I ask. It never hurts to check your timeline. "Yes, it is," he answers. "I have another question before I can begin. My vision was not clear on this, as I was seeing from their eyes. Who is the new Warden recruit that Duncan brought? I am familiar with Daveth, the thief, and Ser Jory, the knight, but who is the other one?" I ask. "His name is Eldis Mahariel. He hails from the Dalish," Cailan answered.

"Tonight, Eldis and the other recruits will go through the Joining, a secret ritual that makes them Grey Wardens. In my vision, after Eldis wakes up, you request his presence at a strategy meeting for the coming battle. You decided to send both Eldis and Alistair to ensure the signal is lit that will tell Teyrn Loghain's men to charge. When they get there, however, the tower has been overrun by darkspawn. They will fight their way to the top of the tower, but it will be too late, and the battle already lost. In my vision, Loghain quits the field to save as many men as he can. You...do not survive. Neither does Warden-Commander Duncan. This is why I came to warn you, and insisted on doing so in private. I did not want Loghain accusing me of treason against him, especially considering that once the battle is lost, he blames the Grey Wardens," I say, picking my words carefully.

It is silent for a long moment after I finish speaking. "Loghain betrays me in your vision?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. I reach out, laying my hand on his knee. "No. Loghain makes the best tactical decision he can make. If he charged, everyone would have been slaughtered, and Ferelden completely consumed by the Blight," I answer. "I...can see that. What happens as a result of my death?" he asks. "Ferelden nobility is plunged into chaos. Arl Howe, among others, takes advantage of this, and it is not until Eldis and Alistair, with Arl Eamon's help, call a Landsmeet that the situation is resolved, and even then it is not without unrest. It is...it would be infinitely better if you survived," I respond, looking at the ground. "I would like your advice on how to prevent this," Cailan asks, and I look up in shock. "Me? But I'm not a soldier or a strategist," I protest. Cailan shakes his head. "You brought me this news for a reason. I believe that you may still offer valuable insight to be considered. What would you have me do?" he asks firmly.

I think for a moment. I want to try and get both Cailan and Duncan out alive, but Duncan is so close to his Calling already. With Morrigan and her ritual coming into play, no one would die slaying the archdemon, and wouldn't it be better if Duncan died in a real battle instead of going into the Deep Roads searching for death? Eldris and Alistair will be safe, as Flemeth and Morrigan will save them, so what would be the best course of action?

"Find someone else to lead the army in your place. Get two guards, no more, and leave. I could accompany you if you wish, or not, but you should allow me to speak to Eldris and Alistair. Whether or not I accompany you, you should meet up with them in Lothering after the battle. They will have outside help; their lives will be saved. You will go into hiding, and create a story. When the Landsmeet is called, you will step forward as the rightful king of Ferelden. You will leave here under secrecy, and you will claim to have survived the terrible battle of Ostagar. Everyone will be dead, so no one can dispute your claim. However, the most important thing is that you meet up with Eldris and Alistair in Lothering," I say, standing. "And...this would truly be best?" he asks me. "Yes," I respond without hesitation, "Ferelden needs you to live. I know that you want glory, but you are a king, and you must place your people before your own wants and desires. Will you listen to my advice?"

There is a very pregnant pause before Cailan answers. "Yes, Shepard, I will. This...this is not easy for me, so I hope you are telling the truth. You will accompany me when we leave, and prior to this, I will get you a set of armor. We'll find the heaviest set you can wear, and we'll get you daggers. You may not have been trained, but if we are attacked, I believe your instincts will take over. Prior to the strategy meeting where I send Eldris and Alistair to light the beacon, I will let you speak to them. Let them know that we will be waiting in Lothering's Chantry and that, upon arrival, they should seek us out immediately. We leave just after the strategy meeting," he says, and I nod. I shoulder my backpack once more. "I suppose we should go get that armor, then," I say, and he smiles grimly in response. "I will pay for this set of armor. Brett told me that you had no money for a meal, and after this we will find a way for you to earn some money of your own. I won't be able to use crown resources if I go into hiding. We'll stock up on as much as we can, and since your pack can carry so much, that will be very helpful. Let's go," he says, holding open the tent flap. I blink in the sudden bright sunlight, but I step outside, shouldering my backpack once again.


	3. Chapter 3

Leather armor was heavier than I'd thought. King Cailan had dragged me to the quartermaster and demanded I be outfitted with the heaviest armor I could wear. "Don't get your hopes up. I can barely lift this," I muttered, gesturing to my backpack. They both ignored me as the quartermaster manhandled me into position and began measuring me. "The good news is that we've got armor that should fit her decently. You want the full kit?" he asked after a few moments with the measuring tapes. "I don't need boots. I have those," I say, gesturing to my feet. "And those aren't armor," the quartermaster says, turning to look at me. "No, they aren't. They are comfortable, and if I keep these, I won't have to wear blisters onto my feet getting used to a new pair," I retort. "Very well. Let her keep her own boots," Cailan interjects.

And then I spend the next hour trying on different kinds of armor. Leather I could handle, although I didn't know if I could ever get used to the restrictive properties. It squeaked when I moved and I decided that armor wasn't as cool as it looked. "I have a set of studded leather, but it's not got a helm," the quartermaster said. "I won't wear a helm, so that doesn't matter, if it's a better set of armor," I say. "Very well. Would you prefer studded leather for her, Your Majesty?" the quartermaster asked, turning to look at Cailan. Cailan considered for a moment. "Yes, that would be best," he answers. "Great. Now someone gets to help me out of this," I joke, although as I struggle to reach one of the buckles Cailan moves behind me. "One would think you don't know the first think about armor," he remarks, his fingers moving far quicker than I thought possible. "Well, see, that might be because I don't," I reply, a grin on my face. "What kind of place do you come from that doesn't have armor?" he asks. "The same kind of place that has zippers."

Cailan shakes his head and lets the armor crumple to the ground, and then there's more leather coming over my head. I don't even protest as Cailan and the quartermaster dress me in the armor. "I am sorry that I can't do this myself," I say, as they fasten buckles that I hadn't even realized existed. "Yeah, yeah," the quartermaster mutters under his breath. "I'd like to see one of you squeeze into pants as tight as mine. Because you couldn't do it," I retort. "Those are pants? I was wondering what was wrong with your skin," Cailan remarked. "Oi! Watch it," I exclaim, turning around to swat at him. He dances away, and then somehow they've got all the buckles fastened and step back to admire their handiwork. "It'll do until we can get you professionally fitted. We'd do that now, but we don't have the time," Cailan mutters after a moment. I still couldn't figure out how he could move so quickly with all that heavy armor on.

"Well, yes, I should go find Alistair and Eldris," I say. "I'll take your pack and fill it with provisions," Cailan offers. "Um, there's a lot of things in there that will need some explaining," I protest halfheartedly. If I never saw the damned thing again it would be too soon. I hated it and everything it stood for. "I won't go through it. Take a few things to prove who you are, if you need," he said. I crouched down and dug inside it, pulling out my English textbook and my jacket. That, along with my boots, should be enough. "Right, okay, there are more zip-up pockets here than buckles on my armor. You can fill all but these two," I say, patting the front pocket, and the back one where I keep my laptop. "Of course. We'll meet up at my tent as soon as we can, okay?" he says. "I'll see you there. Uh, wait, by any chance, do you know where Alistair and Eldris are?" I ask. "Check with Duncan. He's got the campsite just over there," Cailan responded, pointing, and then patted me on the shoulder. My legs almost buckled. "All right, thanks. And be careful with that. I've got some...fragile items in there," I say, and he nods before taking off to go get supplies.

Ostagar is so much larger than in-game. I could just barely see Duncan's small, sequestered campsite from where I stood. I folded the jacket over my arm and clutched my textbook to my stomach as I started walking. I resigned myself to the idea that I'd be doing a lot of that soon. For a dream, this was way too realistic.

 _ **A/N: Okay, so I realize that these chapters are a little short, but I promise they will get longer. I'm kind of bad with breaking up my chapters. You'd think for someone who does this so often I wouldn't have any issues with this, but oh well. I'll try to get the next chapter up today if my homework will let me.**_


	4. Chapter 4

"So...you're telling us that you're a seer, and you saw the battle being lost through my eyes, and that we're going to be saved by the Witch of the Wilds, who is called Flemeth, and that she's going to give her daughter to us?" Eldris asked, frustration practically radiating off of him. "I'm also telling you that King Cailan and I will be waiting in Lothering's Chantry and it is of the utmost importance that you find us before you leave Lothering. Can you do that?" I say. "Are you insulting my intelligence, shemlen?" he demands. "No! I am not insulting anything about you! I'm telling you that, from my vision, if you don't find us, you're really going to wish you did. Lothering will be lost not long after you pass through, and us along with it, and that would put Ferelden in more political unrest than you would think possible," I exclaim, backing away from Eldris.

"What I'm still confused about is why you brought us this book," Alistair remarks. "To prove that I've traveled a long way. Your books aren't like that, are they?" I retort. "Well, you're right there, shemlen," Eldris murmured, taking the book from Alistair's hands. "What is it about?" he asked, flipping through it. "Writing and reading," I answer. "...You don't know how to read, so they give you a book about reading?" Eldris scoffs. "No, no, no, it teaches you how to read effectively. And don't ask me what that means, because I think it's absolute bullshit," I reply. Eldris shakes his head. "Anyways, I have to get back to the king. I'll see you two in Lothering's Chantry. Don't forget. I'll have more information for you then," I say, and I take off.

It's just beginning to get dark when I get back to Cailan's tent. I know the strategy meeting must be soon, if the in-game events are any indication. Cailan is already there, in his shiny golden armor. "Hail! Did you talk to them?" he calls out as I approach. "Aye, I did. They believe me too. I think. I didn't expect Eldris to be so prickly," I answer. My backpack is at Cailan's feet, and I kneel down and open it. The main pocket is absolutely full of provisions, but I manage to squeeze my jacket it on top. I tuck my textbook into the pocket with my computer, and then stand back up. "Good. They'll meet us in the Chantry, then?" he asks. "They said they would. But...you're going to have to ditch the armor," I say, looking up at him as I zip the backpack up. "Of course. I have a set of templar armor that the Revered Mother lent me in my own pack," he tells me, ruffling my hair, "I'm not completely incompetent." I snort, standing back up. I leave my backpack resting against my legs.

We stand there for a few minutes in companionable silence. "Have you eaten?" he asks, eventually. "After I saw the healer earlier," I tell him, crossing my arms around my stomach. "You should eat more. We'll want to eat as much fresh food as we can before we leave tonight. I'll go with you," he offers. "I...thank you," I answer, and throw my backpack over my shoulders. After I struggle with lifting it, Cailan points out that I could leave it in his tent. For a second, I feel incredibly stupid and embarrassed. I should have realized that. "Force of habit. Back home, I had to take it nearly everywhere I went," I say, shrugging, and I put it down just inside the tent. I rub my shoulder where the strap had dug into it in the four seconds I'd had it on my back.

Cailan claps me on the shoulder and off we go, one gauntleted hand resting on my back as he guides me through Ostagar. Without Cailan, I would have gotten completely lost, and by the time we get to the mess hall I'm clinging to Cailan's arm. At least he's trying to hide the smirk on his face as I struggle to keep up. "How do you move that fast in armor as heavy that?" I grumble, stumbling. Cailan catches me, his grip like iron, and he laughs. "Don't laugh at me!" I protest. I would have jokingly hit him on the arm, but I probably would have broken myself had I done that. "I'm used to the armor, Tali," he says gently, after he stops laughing. "Yeah, well I'm used to lugging around that backpack and I still struggle with it," I point out. He ruffles my hair again. "You'll get stronger the longer you're with us. You'll have to," he assures me. I groan, and then we're standing in line for our meal. "Is it that stew stuff again? That was actually really good. Also, the bread. That was wonderful. Can I just get an entire loaf of bread?" I ask. "I'll see what I can do, if that's what you really want," he says. AWww yeah. Motherfuckin' bread.

Cailan did manage to get me an entire loaf of bread. I turned down the stew because I knew I wouldn't be able to eat all that; the loaf of bread was a lot bigger than I'd thought it would be. Cailan and I didn't stick around in the mess hall for obvious reasons, escaping back to his tent. He lit some candles inside, giving us enough light to see by. He insists I sit beside him on the cot. "Will there be enough room with you in all that armor?" I tease, and he laughs. It's a nice laugh, nicer than mine at any rate. "You could always sit on my lap," he jokes, and I nearly choke on my bread. "That's...a thing here?" I ask, when I finally stop coughing. "What do you mean?" he asks, his brow furrowing. "I mean, even back home people don't sit in each others laps, like, ever. Unless two people have a romantic relationship, and even then it's not in public all that often. At least where I'm from. I just didn't think it would be done here," I replied, shrugging. "Ah. It's not a big deal here. At all," Cailan tells me. I shrug again, filing the information away. I'm sure it would be useful later.

After I finished eating, I stretched and brushed the breadcrumbs off. I wondered how long the dream was going to last; usually I woke up by now. Cailan had finished eating ten minutes ago, and had left for the strategy meeting. He wasn't going to tell Loghain about our plan, just in case the man had done it to betray him. Cailan had promised to come and get me before we left, and change into his templar armor. I noticed, as I waited, that it had gotten much colder. I wanted to put my jacket on, but until we were well away from Ostagar, the red fabric would call attention, so I sat in Cailan's tent and shivered until he came back.

"Are you cold?" he asked, ducking into the tent. "A little bit," I admit, as my teeth chatter together because I'm shivering so hard. "You're a terrible liar. You're freezing," he admonishes, pulling an actual cloak from a trunk and fastening it around my neck. I draw it around my body tightly, like a blanket, and pull the hood up. I step outside as Cailan changes into his templar armor, and if I hadn't known it was him when he came out, helmet on and everything, I wouldn't have recognized him. Which was the point, really.

We walked fast in the opposite direction of the battlefield. I was hopelessly lost, but Cailan's and his guards seemed to know where we were going. Once again, I found myself clinging to Cailan as I stumbled and tripped my way through the forest, almost unable to keep up with the quick pace they were setting.

Late into the night, we set up a rudimentary camp. My eyes were drooping, strangely enough. I was too sleepy to think on it as I curled up on my bedroll and slipped into sleep before my head even hit the ground.

 ** _A/N: I'm paying more attention this story since I'm writing as I go. Sssh, don't tell my other story, it might get jealous._**


	5. Chapter 5

" _I can't get a pulse!" cried out a woman, and then her hands began compressing my chest. Her mouth came towards mine, forcing air into my lungs. I wanted to cough and splutter, to make some sign that this was unnecessary, but I couldn't make my limbs move. I tried to suck a breath while the woman was pushing on my chest, but it was like I couldn't make my lungs work. I wanted to let out a scream as she stepped back. I saw the shockpads before they stuck them on my body, and while I couldn't quite feel what was happening, I was already afraid. I couldn't breathe, and they were moving too fast. My head was spinning._

 _The pulse made my body arch off the bed, and then I was standing in the corner of the hospital room. My body was still surrounded by nurses and doctors trying to get a pulse, to start my heart, but they can't. I curl up in the corner of the room, on the couch, because no one will see me. I feel small and insignificant again, and all the time I spent being loud and trying to make myself heard disappears._

" _Subject declared dead at 12:45 p.m. on Wednesday, October 15th," one of the doctor's says, and I jerk awake._

I'm crying before I come fully into awareness, my breath coming in giant heaving sobs. I can't breathe again, and I curl up, hugging my knees to my chest. I bury my face in my knees, and then I'm being lifted. I raise my head, ready to fight, but Cailan is holding me against his chest. I feel weak and ashamed as I bury my face once more, my body shaking as I cry. "What's wrong, Tali?" he asks, his voice soft and soothing in my ear. "I'm dead," I wail, my voice muffled by his chest. I think he realizes that questioning me now would be useless, so he just holds me, rocking slightly as I cry.

When I finally woman up and dry my eyes, sniffing, he asks me again what's wrong. "I….This isn't a dream. I thought this was another vision, but back home, I'm dead. I don't want to be dead. I was sitting in school, listening to the teacher, and I died. Gods, how can it happen so fast like that? And why did I wake up here, of all places?" I ask, miserably, burying my face in his shoulder. His hand is stroking my hair, pushing it back out of my face. I whimpered. "Could...you tell me what you meant? You told me you had traveled from far away," he asks. I shift against him until I'm more comfortable, and he holds me like I weigh nothing.

"I traveled across worlds to be here. I come from another world, and that's why we have such different stuff back home. I don't know why dying there made me wake up here, but I woke up here with a headache that could kill a man, and I found Ostagar, and I found you. But right now I really want to go home because I have a soft bed, hot water whenever I need it, and clean clothes that are nothing like armor. I'm just...I'm dead, back there, and it's…" I murmur, and his thumb strokes my arm as is other hand strokes my hair. "I understand. It would be a terrible shock to wake up somewhere else, in a new body, while you're dead back home," Cailan whispers, and I wonder how he's so understanding. I pull back far enough to look up at him. "You...believe me?" I ask. "I am a little skeptical, but it explains a great many things about you," he admits. "I...have something else. I don't know how to describe it, but it'll seem like a magical artifact. It's not. It's just...a machine," I tell him. "Show me?" he asks. I nod, wiping my eyes on my sleeves and sniffing again as I crawl off of his lap.

I go over to my backpack, pulling my computer out from it. It's a crappy macbook air, but it's my crappy macbook air and it has all my movies and music on it. Without thinking, I sit back down in his lap, my back against his chest, and open it up. He stares at for a few moments after the screen lights up. "That's...a very nice picture, but what does it do?" he asks. I laugh; my background picture is Dorian's romance card from the third Dragon Age game. "This is called a computer, and it does a lot of things. It can take pictures, and it can also add things to the pictures. Let me show you," I say, clicking on the photobooth icon.

Cailan catches on pretty quickly, and we spend a few minutes making funny faces until I'm not as sad. "What else does it do?" he asks eagerly. "It plays music," I answer. The look on his face is almost comical. "Show me!" he demands, and I open iTunes. "Some of my music will be very strange to you," I warn, and his arms wrap around my stomach, shifting beneath the computer, almost knocking it off my lap. "That's fine. How does it do it though?" he asks. "That's...a very good question. If I had majored in something like computer sciences I could tell you, but I didn't. All I know is it's a very complex process for the machine, but all I have to do is press a button," I told him, and I demonstrated. The guards were pointedly looking away from us, and I made sure the volume was turned down before I pressed play. As soon as I did, Antivist by Bring Me The Horizon came on. Cailan's hands were yanked away from me and up to his ears almost instantly. "Shit! I didn't know that would be the first one to come on! Let me change that," I say, pressing the 'next song' button. Thanks to my terrible luck, or maybe Cailan's, You Shook Me All Night Long came up. He seemed to like the song, until he realized what it was about. I watched his face carefully as he listened, and I could pinpoint the exact moment when he realized. His eyes grew almost comically wide and he recoiled slightly. I laughed, pausing it. "Not all our songs are weird like that," I assure him, and then I play The Light Behind Your Eyes for good measure. "I like that one," he says, and I smile.

"So, you see, it's a device that does a lot of things. Maybe one day when we're stuck in the Chantry waiting for Eldris and Alistair we can sneak off and I can show you what a movie is," I promise, closing the computer and putting it back in my pack. "It's nearly dawn. Should we pack up and go?" I ask. I knew there was no way in hell I was going back to sleep now. When I did go to sleep, I might be seeing things from my real body back home, and I didn't want to stick around and find out what being dead was like. Or I could have a really weird dream and start talking in my sleep. "That's a good idea. Are you two ready to move?" Cailan asks his guards, standing up and dusting off. "Yes, Your Majesty," Brett answers, and the camp is a flurry of activity as we eat and pack before we set off.

 ** _A/N: So I really am showing a lot more attention to this story. I hope the execution of what happened wasn't sloppy or rushed. I honestly couldn't figure out how to put Cailan's reactions, but if you don't think they're realistic, remember he is trying to comfort Miss Tali Shepard. If people reading express an interest; I may even reveal her real name._**


	6. Chapter 6

As we walked, I fought off anxiety attacks. They were on and off again, and mostly I just rode through them. Walking helped, like it always did, but I still felt like throwing up half the time. Cailan noticed that something was wrong, walking closer than he had to, but he didn't say anything. I was grateful; I didn't know how I was going to explain anxiety to Cailan. The longest bout of anxiety lasted about an hour before it went away.

We were attacked around noon. Bandits, I think, jumping out of the surrounding woods. They circled us, and Cailan pushed me behind him. "What do we have here? One of them tin-tops escorting a maaaage?" the leader of the bandits asked in a sing-song voice. Then, my inner smart-ass won out and I completely forgot the concept of fear. "What if I am a mage?" I ask. Cailan elbows backwards, but he doesn't hit me. "I've never had me a mage. I'd say that I'd have some fun. We might cut yer hands off. I heard they can't cast that way," he says, stepping closer. "Then I'd say that you don't know anything about magic," I say evenly, and I suddenly wish that I had a gun. Or a knife. Or a rock that I could throw. Anything, really.

I'm not sure who made the first move. All of a sudden. everyone around me was a blur. I watched, partly in awe, partly in disgust, partly in fear that suddenly slammed into me, as Cailan, Brett, and the other guard sliced at the bandits in a whirl of steel and blood. Gore in movies and games never bothered me, but I didn't quite know how to react when it was right there in front of my face. Some of the blood even splashed on me, and that was when I started backing up.

My back hit something very solid and very warm and I turned around to see the man who had been taunting me. I let out a hair-raising screech and started backing up again towards the battle. He came towards me, a jeer on his face, and I raise my arms over my face in self-defense. Something unfamiliar and utterly _new_ bubbles inside me, rushing towards the surface. It's not exactly unpleasant, but it's a rush, and suddenly the man is screaming as fire jets out of my palms. I'm so shocked that I jerk away, the fire stream fading as the man falls screaming to the ground. I gag as the stench of burning flesh fills the air. I make the mistake of looking at him; the flesh is melting off of his face as he thrashes. I go down on my knees, dry-heaving. Then, the air is filled with blessed silence. I continue to gag, shaking my head stubbornly and refusing to actually throw-up.

"Tali! Are you okay?" Cailan asks, running up to kneel beside me, one hand on my back. "Fine," I say, gulping in deep breaths. "You didn't tell me you were a mage," he says, after a moment, when I can sit up and pull my hair back. I'm suddenly more than grateful for the hair-tie I always keep on my wrist. I swipe my wrist across my mouth, wiping the spit off of my face. "I didn't know I was a mage. Back home, magic doesn't exist. This must be a new thing that...since I died…" I trail off. Being dead sucked more than I thought it would. Especially since I had a sudden pounding in my head. "Well...I hate do this…" he says, scratching at his neck. "You will _not_ take me to the Chantry. I've seen how that plays out for mages as old as I am, and I will not allow it," I growl, standing up and backing away from him. I keep my hands carefully pointed at the ground though. "I wasn't going to suggest it, Tali. I was going to say that, as King, I hate to ignore the laws, but I won't let them take you," he says, gently, holding his hands out in surrender. I deflate, letting out a deep breath. "Right. Sorry, I'm sorry I just started accusing you. I shouldn't have done that," I say, running a finger through my hair. It was sticky with splattered blood and I shudder. "Okay, but, like, I really need a bath. And you do too. You're covered in blood. Is any of it your own?" I ask, stepping towards him.

"No, none of it's mine. I don't think, anyway. There should be a river nearby, according the maps. We can take turns bathing. That sound okay?" he asks. I wrinkle my nose. "Won't it be really cold?" I ask. "Yeah, but you can warm up by the fire," he promises. Brett and the other guard check over the bandits, making sure they're dead. I insist they snag their coinpurses; we'll need them before the Blight ends. After that, Cailan asks me if I could set the corpses on fire, but I can't summon the same feeling. "I'll have to have Morrigan teach me once we meet up with them," I mutter to myself.

The river really isn't far, and we decide to go ahead and camp on the riverbank. There's a natural sort of cove or whatever that's curtained off from the camp, so we can have privacy. Cailan and the male guard go first. The female guard miraculously managed to avoid getting blood all over her, although I'll never figure out how. I had been mostly removed from the fighting entirely and I had gotten more than my fair share of blood on me.

Cailan and the other guard finally come out, their hair dripping wet, but clean. As I slipped off, grabbing the clothes I'd arrived in to change into, Cailan sat down and began to clean his armor. I tugged and yanked and unbuckled the armor until it came off in layers on the riverbank. My bra was still mostly clean, so I decided to change back into that in the morning, and I was so glad that Cailan had had the foresight to give me a change of underwear, even if it was the ugly smallclothes from Ferelden.

He had warned me that the water would be a 'little' cold. It was like stepping into a glaciar and the current was so strong it nearly knocked me off my feet. Thankfully, it was only waist deep, although that made it hard to get my hair clean. I scrubbed until my skin was pink, and I was feeling slightly anxious again. It was like a hard rock in the pit of my stomach, but it was manageable. My lips, however, had turned blue by the time I finally got out of the water, and the rest of my skin was tinged slightly blue. I was cold, and all I had was a stupid tank top to pull on. I didn't even bother with my bra; I was shivering too hard to be able to put it on correctly. The new smallclothes were blessedly simple and wonderfully comfortable, and I finally made it back to the fire and snatched a blanket. "Armor still on the bank," I manage, curling in on myself for warmth. I was sitting practically in the fire.

"Cold?" Cailan asked, the corners of his lips curving up into a smile. "Nah, I'm warm, that's why my skin is turning blue," I answer, my teeth literally clacking together because I'm shivering so hard. "Come here," he says, reaching out for me. I look at him, my eyes narrowed. "Why?" I ask, somewhat suspiciously. "You're cold. Get over here," he orders playfully. I let out a heavy sigh. I want to stay by the fire and shiver, but Cailan is offering body heat, so I crawl over to him. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me against his chest, and Jesus Christ this guy is like a furnace. "You know, I think you might be my favorite person," I mumble, sinking against him. I'm still cold as hell, but I should warm up much faster. "Oh? Why's that?" he asks, his mouth inches from my ear. I shiver again, but that could be from his breath going down the back of my spine. "Well, let's see, you feed me and you keep me warm. And...yeah that's about all I require," I say, grinning even though he can't see me. "You must be very easy to please," he says, his hands rubbing up and down my arms through the blankets. "Nope, just incredibly fragile and anxious," I reply. He chuckles.

"Tell me about your world," he says, scooting us a little closer to the fire. "What would you like to know?" I ask, relaxing against him. He's about three times bigger than I am, although he is by no means fat. He's pure muscle, and leaning against his chest almost feels like leaning against a wall. This man could crush my skull if he decided to. "You said there is no magic? Is there also no Chantry?" he asks. Oh, fuck, the man starts with the hard questions. "There isn't no magic, but there's still a lot of discrimination for things people can't change. Mages here do not choose to be born with magic. Back home it's...based on a lot of things. Like the color of your skin, or the color of your eyes or hair, or what sex you are, or who you fall in love with. And in a sense, there is no Chantry in the country I'm from. There are many churches and temples and places of worship, and people try to use their religion to stop other people from living their own life, but the church is not a ruling force in America. Or, I mean, at least that's what they say, but it takes twice as long to get some laws passed because of the churches and religious groups protesting," I answer, and I hope I got the answer right.

"What sort of government do you have?" he asks, winding a strand of my hair around his finger. I barely even notice. "In America, it's a democracy. The people elect a president, and there's a checks and balances system. I've studied it, but it wasn't a particularly enthralling subject, so I don't remember exactly what it is. There's three branches of government, though, the judicial branch, the executive branch, and the legislative branch. I don't even know who all was running for president when I...left. I do know that there was this one fellow, Donald Trump, and he's an actual joke. Like no one whatsoever took him seriously, but you'd have to know a lot more about Donald Trump to understand why," I explain, twisting the hem of the blanket around my fingers.

"What was it like where you lived?" he asked. "It was...quiet, but it was busier than it will be almost anywhere here, I think. There were so many people, and so many things to do, even though I lived in a place where people constantly complained that there wasn't anything to do. I lived very far from the town, but it only took thirty minutes to get there because we hard cars. Which are like very very fast wagons that go without a horse pulling them," I explain. Already, I can feel my eyelids drooping even though I don't want to go to sleep. It hits me all of a sudden that Cailan is real right now, and he's playing with my hair, and using his body heat to warm me up, and he's asking questions about me like I'm the most fascinating thing he's ever seen. And I feel kind of bad that he doesn't even know my real name.

"Also...Tali Shepard isn't my real name. I...thought this was another one of my visions. I didn't want to give out my real name in case it was. I was...afraid," I admit. "What's your real name, then?" he asks, resting his chin on my shoulder. I almost jump at the contact. "Arya Peterson. I don't know why I was too afraid to tell you my name," I murmur. "I don't blame you. I actually don't know how you're coping so well," he remarks. "I'm not. I'm just internalizing it all. Like, last night, I had a panic attack. Usually I...well, usually I internalize those too. So, uh, sorry for freaking out on you," I say. "Don't apologize. Having emotions is, well, you know, normal," he teases. Leaning against him, by the fire, as I finally warm up, I start to feel really drowsy. "Mmm, I might fall asleep on you if you don't let me up," I warn. "Go ahead and sleep," he encourages me. "I might get used to this," I tease. "I might let you get used to this," he answers back, and without looking I can see the teasing grin on his face. With no sign of him relenting to let me up, I sigh heavily, making a show of getting comfortable.

I fall asleep before I know it.

 _That night, I dream of Leliana. We are together, on a cliff, with the Blight stretching out before us. The Blight is closing in on us. "We can stop this," she tells me, reaching for my hand. Without a second thought, I lace my fingers with hers. She gives me a reassuring smile, and then we jump. Or maybe we fall, or maybe we jump-fall, and we sail through the darkness, both of us tensed and braced for an impact that never comes._

I jerk away almost violently after that. Cailan, somehow, isn't woken up by my outburst. Somehow, he;s moved us so that he's lying on his side and I'm lying on my back, pressed up against him. He's got one arm thrown over me, one leg tangled with mine. The blanket is draped over both of us, although one of the bedrolls is underneath us as well. I wonder how he managed to wrestle a bedroll underneath me without waking me up. The fire has mostly died out, but not far away I can see Brett sitting watch. As I lay back, surprisingly comfortable on the cold, hard ground, I start to find myself liking it here.


	7. Chapter 7

I had warned Cailan and the others about the bandits outside of Lothering. As we approached, however, the road was empty. "Arya?" Cailan asks, his hand moving out as if to push me behind him. "I have two theories," I answer, crossing my arms uneasily. "Let's hear them," the female guard, Elishia, says, her hand on her weapon. "Well, one is that the bandits I saw here in my vision are the same ones who attacked us. They can't be here if they're already dead. The other theory? We're too early. Remember that Eldris and Alistair come much later," I say, although I still feel uneasy. "Regardless, we should continue into Lothering," Brett mutters uncomfortably. "Yeah, I'm with you there," I whisper. Brett takes point, Cailan walking just behind him. Elishia brings up the rear guard. All of us are on edge. I'm not sure why. I should be happy that we don't have to fight something else. Maybe it's because I was betting on the bandits being there, and then they weren't there.

We proceeded into Lothering without any problems. Refugees had begun to trickle in, but there weren't as many as there would be. Cailan sent Elisha to get two rooms in the inn, if they could be had. If not, we would all share one somehow. Brett was sent to replace the provisions we'd already went through. Cailan and I went towards the Chantry. I clung to his side, my arms wrapped around his right one. "Don't like crowds?" he asked, his breath tickling my ear. I shake my head wordlessly, and he extracts his arm from my grasp to throw it around my shoulders and pull me against his side. Before we had reached Lothering, we had taken the time to cut his hair. I'd wished that I'd had some hair dye with me, but with the makeup in my bag I'd managed to make him look slightly different. Perhaps no one in Lothering would even be able to recognize Cailan as the king now. He wasn't wearing his golden plate, his hair was much shorter, and I doubted many of Lothering's residents had actually met the man. Still, I worried.

There were two templars outside of the gate. There was no sign of the screaming farmer from the game, and everyone seemed much more optimistic. News from Ostagar must not have reached them yet. "Ask for Sister Leliana," I hiss, standing on my tiptoes so Cailan could hear me. Damn, why did he have to be so much taller. "Can't you?" he murmurs, stopping and pretending to examine the Chanter's Board. That was something else we needed to have a chat about. I shake my head vehemently. I'm doing well to talk to Cailan right now. "Excuse me, gentlemen, but we're looking for Sister Leliana. Is she in the Chantry?" Cailan asks, after a moment. "Aye, she is. Head on inside. She's either praying or preaching. Don't interrupt her if she's praying; she is very devout. Otherwise, feel free to approach her. She's friendly, always willing to talk," the one on the right answers. "Thank you, ser," Cailan says, nodding to him as we enter the Chantry.

"I never thought I would enter a church willingly," I murmur under my breath. Cailan smirks, but otherwise doesn't respond. Leliana is near the front. She isn't praying, or preaching, but she is talking animatedly to another Chantry sister. We wait until she is done and the other one disappears before calling to her. "Are you Leliana?" Cailan asks. "I am...and oh! I've dreamed of you!" she says, moving to stand directly in front of me. "And I of you, Sister," I say, and I am very proud when my voice doesn't shake. I shouldn't be this nervous. This is Leliana. The amazing, wonderful Leliana who probably needs a hug. Or ten. "The Maker must have brought you to me," she whispers, talking mostly to myself. "He must have. Have you...Have you dreamed of any Grey Wardens?" I ask, biting my lip. "I haven't. But that dream...did you share the one I had of you?" she asks. Cailan starts to step away but I have a death grip on his arm, and he settles for shifting slightly. "I think so. We were on the edge of the cliff, and the Blight surrounded us. We jumped, or maybe we fell, into the darkness together. That sound right to you?"

"Yes. The Maker must have a plan for us both. Although you have me at a disadvantage. What's your name?" she asks. I take a very, very brief moment to appreciate Leliana. She's beautiful, that's all I could say about that. She looks so...content in the Chantry. She looks like she belongs. I also make a split second decision. Cailan and I really should have talked about this beforehand. "Tali. For now. You should come by the inn, though, later. We should have a room there. We can talk more later," I say. "Of course. I will come see you after supper," she promises, and to my complete and utter surprise she pulls me into a hug. "Just...keep in mind that I have a lot of things to tell you," I say. She nods, pats my shoulder, and then Cailan and I leave.

Outside of the Chantry, the air is a lot less oppressive. "I have some other things to tell you. Or ask you. Or advise you on. Aw, fuck, I don't know what the right word is," I say, softly, once we're far away from the Chantry. Lothering is a lot more spread out than it is in-game, but there aren't many people who have made their home there. "And I have more questions to ask you. What do you say we send Brett and Elishia away and talk for awhile?" he murmurs. "That'd be good. Elishia scares me," I whisper, leaning against him for a brief moment as I laugh. He laughs with me, although there's some truth in the statement. Elishia intimidates me, but then again so does most of the world.

Elishia got us two rooms. I had no idea how we were going to split them up, but Cailan led me into one after asking her to wait in the bar. She wagged her eyebrows at me and I spluttered before Cailan dragged me up the stairs, laughing. "You're both terrible!" I managed, and he laughed even harder. I crossed my arms and pretended to pout as soon as he let go of me. When the door opened, however, and revealed the bed, I pounced. I landed face-down, stretching out. "This bed is the actual best," I inform Cailan, my voice muffled by the pillows. "I'm glad you like it. Scoot over and make room for me," he says. I can hear his armor hitting the ground as I shift, rolling onto my back. I probably should have taken my armor off, but I was down and I wasn't getting back up until I had to.

"What did you need to tell me?" he asks, finally settling onto the bed next to me. Ah, fuck, I'd almost completely forgotten. It took me a minute to remember. "We should take some jobs on the Chanter's Board. That way we can get some more money," I say. "What is it with you and money?" he asks. I tilt my head so I can see him and roll my eyes at him. "One can never have too much money. Besides, all I have are dollar bills in my wallet. I mean...I think I have some pennies. Maybe a quarter," I say. "Show me?" he asks. "Oh, fuck you. I don't even know where my pack is," I grumble, sitting up. It's sitting all the way in the corner of the room. "Well, I mean, if you're offering…" Cailan jokes, and then I hit him. He laughs, tossing a pillow at me. "Go get your...whatever," he says, and I grin, sliding off the bed. While I'm up, I take off my armor, letting it fall to the floor. I'm left in the underclothes they gave me to prevent...something. I wasn't exactly paying attention.

I tossed my wallet at Cailan, and then I got an idea. "Say, how long do we have until supper?" I ask. "Two hours. Why?" he asked. "Because I downloaded movies onto my computer illegally, and I'm going to make you watch one," I say. I take a moment to pull my computer out of my bag before joining Cailan on the bed. "What's a movies?" he asks. "A movie is...well, you'll see. You have plays, right? Like, where you to a theatre and people act out a story?" I ask. "Yes," he answers. "Well, a movie is kind of like that. But, like, completely different. Aw, fuck, just shut up and watch," I mutter, opening my computer. Cailan holds onto my wallet. "What are we watching?"

I grin at him, "Shrek. It's my favorite. Or, one of them."


	8. Chapter 8

Cailan tried valiantly to understand the movie. For the most part, he understood the plot and the characters, but he couldn't for the life of him wrap his head around what exactly it was. "I could show you a lot more things," I offer. I had noticed as I had started up the movie that the computer still read that I had a Wifi connection. "Let me try something," I murmur, mostly to myself, as I open up the browser. I get to YouTube no problem, same with Facebook and Gmail. "Huh," I say, mostly to myself. "Well, hell, here goes nothing," I say, and do a quick search for Cailan's death scene.

"What are you doing?" he asks, leaning forward. "This is where some of my visions come from. I'll show you the one that I changed. The one where you died. If...if you're okay with that," I say. He leans over me, his chin resting on my shoulder and his arms wrapping around my waist. "I think I can do it," he whispers. I press play, and let him watch. "That doesn't really look like me," is the first thing out of his mouth when the video starts. "Yeah, he's so much more handsome," I tease. Cailan's fingers press lightly into my sides, enough to make me arch away from him with a yelp. "That was foul play!" I shout, trying to roll away from him. Somehow, his fingers are always there. "Stop it!" I whine, my hands beating uselessly at his arms and chest. He laughs, pinning me beneath him. "Uncle, uncle! You win! I submit! Please just stop!" I gasp, writhing. Finally, he stops, his hands poised to tickle me again. "I think you should make it up to me," he says, a smirk on his face. "And I really think you should stop tickling me before I bite you," I retort. He laughs, and then he's tickling me again, "I really hate you!" I shriek, trying my damndest to twist away from him, and then we're falling the very short distance where we land with a thud. Cailan lands directly on top of me, knocking the breath out of me.

We lay there for a few seconds, both of us slightly stunned, before we start laughing. "Goddess, I really got into a mess, didn't I?" I say. "Goddess? Now you've got me curious. What is religion like where you come from?" Cailan asks, pushing himself up. He hovers over me, looking down inquisitively, and if I wasn't so close to being squished by him, I would laugh at the strangeness of it all. "That's a complicated question. There's different religions all over, where I'm from. And my religion is very different from everyone else's where I live. I mean, I kept it mostly a secret because people judge others harshly because of their religious preferences. So do you want the most popular, or mine specifically, because they're two very different things," I say, pushing my hair out of my eyes. "Yours," he answers, sitting up. He helps me up, as well. "Well, I'm something called Pagan. There are a lot of different branches of Paganism, too, so that's still a complicated question. I, personally, believe in the Horned God, and the Goddess," I begin, and then I give the King of Ferelden a lesson on Paganism. Brett has to come and get us because Leliana is waiting in the tavern.

"So, you are a seer?" Leliana asks. We had managed to get a private dining area, so hopefully no one was overhearing our conversation. "Of a sorts, yes. My real name is Arya Peterson. I have some information that will prove the truth of what I say. This information is about you, and about your past, and if you wish to go upstairs and speak in private so I can talk more freely, I'm fine with that. If not I will be more...general," I say. Leliana regards me suspiciously. I'm seeing more of the Orlesian bard instead of the devoted Chantry sister in this moment, and part of me secretly loves it. "Speak freely, here. If you start to say something I do not wish our companions to know, I will make it known," she says. I take a sip of water before I began.

"Your mother died when you were young. An Orlesian noble woman raised you; Lady Cecile. The only thing you remember about your mother is the smell of Ferelden wild flowers. You're an Orlesian bard, and you came to Ferelden because of Marjolaine. I will not say more about her now. Do you require more information for me to prove my honesty, or is that enough?" I ask evenly. I thank the goddess that I wasn't as intimidated by Leliana. I entertained the thought briefly of trying to start a relationship with her. I'd always slightly preferred women over men, although I swung all ways. I doubted Leliana would want it, though. "I believe you. Besides, if the Maker gave us the same dream, where we dreamt of each other, He must have a plan for you," she says. "He must. Although, I would like to speak to you privately, regardless. I have some questions about Ferelden than I doubt King Cailan can answer," I say. Leliana looks at me, a knowing grin in her eye, but doesn't push the issue.

The next day, Leliana comes up to the room while Cailan goes outside to train. "You had some questions?" she asks, with a gleam in her eyes. Oh no. What have gotten myself into, exactly? Maybe I should have asked Elishia. It might have been less painful. "Uh, Ferelden hygiene customs?" I say, glancing up from where I lay on the bed. "Ask away, my dear," she says, a slight laugh in her voice. "If you lie to me, Leli, I will tell everyone that you're just a snooty Orlesian girl," I threaten. She chuckles, laying down next to me. "I won't lie to you. I'm not that cruel," she promises. "All right, so, first question I guess. Do women in Ferelden, uh, shave anything?" I ask, tilting my head to look at her. "Shave anything? Whatever for? Women don't grow beards or mustaches," she says, a wicked gleam in her eyes. "Legs, armpits? Anything like that? Cause where I'm from, we shave both of those," I say. "Some women do, others do not. In Orlais, more women shave than do not. In Ferelden, though, it seems to not matter," she explains. "What do you use to shave? Because I'm pretty sure it'll be very different than the disposable razors I use back home. Although I have one of those with me…" I say, trailing off thoughtfully. "We use special knives. I can show you later, if you need me too," she says. "Oh thank the Goddess. I'd cut myself to pieces without supervision. I manage that with those damned safety razors," I mutter, half to myself. Leliana laughs. "That wouldn't do, would it? Just let me know when you need me to show you," she says, patting my hand gently.

"Okay, I will. Next question. Uh, periods. How do you deal with those? I have an entire pack of pads in my backpack but I'll use those up the first time I bleed here and please tell me it's not gross," I say, half-begging. I knew in the medieval time period women would use rags. And then wash those rags and use them again. And I really, really wanted something disposable. "Ferelden women use rags. But I learned another way in Orlais. It's very similiar, but you put cotton inside of you instead. You have to be careful so you can get it back out, but it is less messy than the rags," she answers. "Aw, fuck, you guys have either rags or tampons. I guess I'll try the cotton," I say, thoroughly displeased. "Is there anything else you need to know?" she asks. "Not about any of that stuff, I don't think," I reply, stretching.

"Oh, you don't need to know how to prevent a pregnancy?" she asks, and I choke on the air I was trying to breathe. "What the fuck, Leli? Why would I need to know that?" I squeak. "I've seen the way King Cailan looks at you," she says. _Oh, Goddess,_ I think, _this is how the world ends. Not with a bang, but with me spontaneously combusting from embarrassment._ "And I think you're bat-shit crazy. Cailan has a wife. Who is very much a bitch, and I think I would gain some satisfaction from stabbing her, but a wife nonetheless. It's not a possibility," I say. "Oh, come now. It is not uncommon for royal rulers to have mistresses," Leliana says, and I can almost feel it. I am seconds away from bursting into flames. "I kind of forgot that that was a thing here. But still. The answer is no. I'm just surprised that he's alive. In my...visions, he died. It was very sad and all, but, hey, he's alive now, so mission accomplished. Plus, I'm more into women," I say. Literally seconds away from combustion. Seconds.

Leliana, to no one's surprise, cackles. I groan, grabbing a pillow and throwing it over my face. "Still a useful thing to know, no?" she says, when she finally catches her breath. "Not if I get with a woman. Unless...Oh, Goddess, please tell me you can't use magic to reproduce like that, 'cause that's just messed up," I say, momentarily horrified as I yank the pillow off my face to stare at her. She laughs again, barely containing herself enough to answer me. "No, no, there is no way for two women or two men to have a child of their own together. I just couldn't resist messing with you," she says. I roll my eyes at her. "Oh, I'll get you one day, Leli. I could show you some of the things that's been written about you," I suggest, wagging my eyebrows at her. "Oh? Am I famous where you are from?" she asks, surprise coloring her features. "A lot of people here are. Alistair, Morrigan, you, and Zevran especially. You've not met anyone else, but you will soon. Or should, unless something else happened. I...better not think about that anymore. So, yeah. There's a lot of weird things that have been written about you," I say. "I might like to read them," she says.

It's my turn to grin at her. "Oh, some of those things would make you blush like a schoolgirl. I shouldn't risk it, oh talented Orlesian bard," I say, smirking. "Oh, I am much more experienced than you would think," she says, the gleam returning to her eyes. "Oh? You into bondage then? Pain play? Spanking?" I ask. "Wait, people write those things about me? Who am I with in those stories?" she asks. "Sometimes it's a female version of Eldris. Sometimes it's Eldris. Sometimes it's a Cousland from Highever. Sometimes it's Morrigan. Some of it's even with Zevran," I answer, enjoying the look of slight fear on her face. "So, you said you would not be interested in Cailan. What about me?" she asks, teasingly. "Why, Leliana, I'm always a slut for pretty women," I answer. Leliana chokes slightly, her face going red. "Arya!" she scolds, and I dissolve into laughter.

Three days after that, refugees have started to flood in. Lothering gets very crowded, and for the most part I stay in the room I share with Elishia. I tell Leliana about Sten, and how he can be a great asset to the team, and she begins sneaking him food. She tells me he accepts it only reluctantly. Meanwhile, Brett, Elishia, and Leliana go out doing jobs for the Chanter's Board, which brings in a pretty sum of money. I add my pennies and quarters to the pile, which helps some, but I have no way whatsoever to earn money of my own. The refugees don't have enough, so I can't offer services of sewing. I do offer to do it for free, though. The pennies I had were enough to buy some needles and thread, and Cailan seemed to approve. Although he was going crazy, not being able to go with the others when they went off on jobs. I managed to keep him somewhat satisfied telling him stories from back home. I told him the story of Little Red Riding Hood, and I told him about some of the stories from Greek mythology. He had endless questions, too, about home and what it was like. I answered them as best as I could, although I admitted pretty early on that I was very biased. That didn't seem to deter him at all; it might have even encouraged him.

Most nights, I worked late until my fingers started to ache. Cailan stayed as long as he could for the first day before Elishia ran him off, and the next day he had fallen asleep before she had gotten back. I told her to leave him be; I wasn't anywhere near sleepy. I felt restless, actually, and despite the ever-lowering battery on my computer, once Elishia was gone and I was caught up on my work, I pulled out my earbuds and opened up Facebook.

For awhile, I was afraid. One of my friends was online, and judging from their recent statuses, they were well aware of my death. What would messaging them do? I bite my lip. The computer has enough battery life to last for awhile. If I have to, I could Skype one of them to prove it. Cailan might even wake up for this. Taking a deep breath, I send a message.

 _Arya: hi, i'm tate, i'm dead, wanna hook up?_

She doesn't respond. Five minutes later, I send her another message.

 _Arya: hey, it's me. as in arya peterson. even though i fucking hate that name._

I sit there for another few minutes, soft music playing quietly in my earbuds. Three and a half minutes later, by my count, the computer dings softly in my ears.

 _Ella: How fucking dare you? This was my best friend. How fucked up do you have to be to do this to someone?_

 _Arya: it's really me._

 _Ella: prove it. send me something that only we would know._

 _Arya: okay, remember that time when we tried to text in our order? it was raining super hard and it was kind of cold. we thought it was a good idea, but we get down there and the guy behind the counter has no fucking clue what's happening, so by the time we get down there it's almost time for Brad to go to class and he leaves us there, just takes his drink and goes. they gave us an extra tea. we spent an entire twenty dollar bill. it was terrible._

 _Arya: and that one time, when we got lost on the way to class. we came in ten minutes before class was over, and the instructor was so mad. i thought he was going to combust. i was almost crying, too._

 _Ella: fuck you. how do you know all this?_

I should have expected this. I really should have expected this. It still hurts, a little, that she doesn't believe me.

 _Arya: Just hear me out, okay? I can Skype if you want, but I have to be quiet. I'm in mostly the dark, and there's a sleeping man on the bed. Oh, man, you are going to shit when you hear this._

Less than twenty seconds later, the Skype call comes through. I make sure the candle shines enough light so she can see my face, and see that it's really me. "Ar, what the fuck?! Was that all an elaborate prank or something? Where the fuck are you?" she yells. I wince, turning the volume down. "Can you hear me?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. "Yes, I can hear you. Now start explaining," she hisses. "All right, well, I don't know what exactly happened, but I thought I'd fallen asleep in class. I woke up not far from Ostagar. As in, Ostagar from Dragon's Age. And no, don't interrupt before I finish. I thought it was a dream, you know? A messed up dream. But the first time I went to sleep here, in Thedas, I...saw myself die. Back home. It was...I didn't handle it well. I can prove I'm here. Cailan is the one on my bed, and Leliana is downstairs in the tavern, I think. It's late, so she might have gone back to the Chantry. I can wake him up to show you, if you want," I say, cringing at the glare she gives me. "You better fucking prove it, right now, because if you're lying, I swear to fucking god, Arya, I will kill you myself for this. The last three days have been hell. I was right there when you died. You just sort of collapsed, and then the teachers were trying to get a pulse and they couldn't and...God," she trails off, and I think I can see tears in her eyes. "All right, just, be quiet until I wake him up, okay?" I say. She nods, her eyes narrowed.

I unplug the earbuds and move to the bed, sitting down gently on the side of it. "Hey, Cailan, wake up. I have something else to show you," I say, reaching out to touch his arm. He groans, throwing his arm over his face. I lean down really closely to him, making sure that Ella can see from the computer. Her face is slowly revealing more and more shock than anger. "If you don't wake up, I might have to draw dicks on you. And we can't have the King of Ferelden walking around with dicks on his face, can we?" I ask, my voice an annoying sing-song. Cailan groans again, sitting up against the pillows. "What is it, Arya? And why in the Void is that light so bright? Wait...is that someone on the other side of the screen?" he asks, sitting up so abruptly he almost knocks me off the bed. I laugh, motioning to Ella to speak. "I...can't believe you aren't shitting me right now," she says. Cailan's eyes widens. "I...are you trapped in there?" he asks, leaning closer to peer at the screen. Ella squeaks, and if it was someone aside from a video game character, I think she'd laugh.

"I, uh, no, I'm not trapped, but I have to go. Love you, Ar, talk to you later," she manages, and then ends the call. I laugh, switching back over to Facebook.

 _Arya: No electricity here, so no charging. I might have Wifi, but the computer is still dying, which sucks balls. I'll check in when I can, but it won't be often. Just so you know, the Warden is a male dalish elf, and he's angrier than I am in the mornings. Love you, El._

I close the computer, and the sudden darkness startles me. I rub my eyes hard after I put the computer safely away. "What was that?" Cailan asks, seemingly unable to believe it. "It's a form of communication. It's a video call. It's like, the other person is there, but not there. It's how I can be all the way across the ocean, and still talk to someone through the Internet. That was my friend Ella. She...didn't believe me at first when I told her it was me, and where I was. I figured she might if I introduced you, somewhat. She's...a fan," I say, giving him a soft smile. He smiles back, flopping down on the mattress. "Blow out that candle and come to bed. It must be late," he says, patting the bed next to him. "So eager to get me into bed," I remark, dryly, and Cailan chuckles sleepily. "C'mon," he pleads, and I grin. I carry the the candle to the bedside table, already in the clothes I wear for pajamas. Which happens to just be the tank top I woke up here in and a pair of loose pants.

I sit the candle down gently, turning back to look at Cailan. His eyes follow me as I move around the room, and I think about what Leliana said. If a King taking a mistress wasn't common in Ferelden, I think I might do it just to spite Anora. I had no reason to hate her so much, but I chalked it up to her betraying me twice the first time I played through the game. Regardless, I couldn't stand her, and if Leliana was right...Well, that could be grounds for some serious revenge for my Warden. I shake myself mentally and ease into the bed. Already, I feel a little cold, and Cailan practically radiates heat. I blow out the candle, finally, and curl up against him. "Happy now?" I ask. "Mhm," he answers, and within minutes his breathing is slow and steady, telling me he's gone to sleep again. For a brief moment, I wonder what Elishia or Brett, or even Leliana will think when they come to wake us, but the next moment I don't care, as I'm suddenly bone-tired. I slip into a blessedly dreamless sleep.

 _ **A/N: Okay, I didn't make up all the interactions between Arya and Ella by myself. I had my friend help me. I set up the situation and asked her how she would respond in that situation, and thus that's how I got Ella's responses. Let me say now that both girls are avid fans of the game. I can't decide if I want this to hit even closer to home by having Arya like to write as well. I doubt I'll have her write fanfiction, because that's a little too close, but, hey, give me feedback. I apologize that the updates aren't as quick as I like. School is a thing, and I try to take turns updating my stories. Usually, I only manage to get one chapter a day up, but I enjoy writing all of them. Feel free to check the others out, if they're your thing. Two of them are Skyrim stories, and another one is a Mass Effect story. I apologize for this ridiculously long author's note as well, but give me your feedback on where you'd like this to go. I'm open to suggestions.**_

 _ **Taffy and Sweetrolls: I'm glad you like the story! I hope you continue to like it and where I take it. I don't really have a solid plan to follow for this, other than basic main-game stuff, so feel free to request any certain scenarios that you'd like to see!**_


	9. Chapter 9

Two days later, Eldris and Alistair arrive in Lothering with Morrigan and a dog trailing behind them. They look like death warmed over, and I realize the game didn't prepare me for this. The dog bounds ahead, nearly crashing into me as he licks his way across my face. I can't stop myself from laughing in delight, petting every inch of mabari that I can reach. He weighs almost as much as I do, and he's getting me filthy as we roll in the dirty just outside Lothering, but I feel better than I have since arriving in Thedas. Eldris glares and continues into the town proper, Morrigan sweeping along behind him. Alistair, meanwhile, stays to help me pry the dog out of my lap before pulling me to my feet. "Thanks," I say, smiling at him and brushing mud and dog fur off of my pants. "No problem," he says easily. The dog nearly knocks me over as he slams against my legs enthusiastically. "Oh, fuck me," I grumble, as Alistair catches me. "What's his name?" I ask. "Eldris never named him. He seems to hate the poor dog," Alistair answers. "What did this precious angel ever do to him?" I coo, reaching down (well, actually, up) to scratch the dog behind the ears. "I'm gonna ask if I can name him!" I continue.

Eldris is storming out of the tavern, glaring at me accusingly as the three of us approach. "Did you know about that?" he snarls. I flinch, but take a moment to notice how not-bloody he is. "Know about what?" I ask, crossing my arms defensively. The dog actually steps forward to stand in front of me. Hah! Take that, Mr. Angry Dalish! Your dog likes me better! "Loghain's messengers demanded to search us! They're looking for the missing King. Did they think I was hiding him down my pants?" he growls. I let out a deep breath. "Oh thank the Goddess. I thought it was something serious, Eldris! And if you insist on berating me, maybe save for after I give you some life-saving information? We need a serious heart-to-heart," I say, raising my hands. Eldris lets out an unintelligible growl and stalks back inside. "He's always like that," Alistair comments, a grin slipping back onto his face. "God save us all, if he's the one who's going to stop the Blight," I mutter,

The tavern is full of patrons who avoid their eyes carefully from Eldris. I bet it's his sparkling personality. That has to be it. Morrigan, much more...goddess-like than in the game, slinks over to me. "I am told you are a seer of some sort?" she asks, and suddenly I'm much more nervous than I've been since reaching Lothering. I've never been good at talking to pretty women. "I...suppose that's correct. I need to talk to you privately, though, and perhaps I can answer some of your questions," I answer, one hand resting lightly on the dog's head. His tail thumps against the back of my legs. "I would like that. Shall we do so now?" she asks. "That would be...okay, yeah," I answer, leading the way up the stairs. The dog looks at me, a questioning look in his eyes. "You know what? I'm gonna start calling you Garrus. Do you like that name, boy?" I ask him. His tail thumps against me harder, and I swear a smile stretches across his face. "Tis an odd name that you chose," Morrigan remarks, as push open the door to my room. Cailan is sprawled out on the bed. As soon as we'd seen Loghain's messengers appear, I'd ordered him to stay upstairs. He pushes himself up on his elbows. "Can you go to your room for awhile? I need to have a private conversation with Morrigan," I ask. Cailan pushes himself up off of the bed. "Sure. See you later," he answers, and then he exits the room, closing the door softly behind him. I sit down on the edge of the bed, facing Morrigan.

"I know a lot about you. From my visions and stuff," I begin, cringing internally at how fucking awkward I am. Jesus, I really suck at talking to pretty women. "Then prove it," she says, her head tilting to the side ever so slightly. She crosses her arms in front of her chest, and suddenly I have to work very hard not to stare at what's barely concealed. Dammit, Morrigan. "You grew up in the Wilds with your mother, Flemeth. At least, you are moderately sure she's your mother. She's done all the motherly things without coddling you, and some people would feel sorry for you. You don't like their pity, because Flemeth has helped you learn what you need. Once, you ventured outside of the Wilds and found a golden hand mirror. You took it, and Flemeth smashed it, because those things are a weakness that you cannot afford. And you know of a ritual, performed on the eve of battle, with a male Grey Warden who has not been a Warden for too long. This will produce a child that will draw the archdemon's soul like a beacon. This is why Flemeth sent you with Eldris and Alistair," I say. Garrus leans against my legs. "I...am impressed about your knowledge of me," Morrigan admits. I grin easily at her. "I'm getting that a lot."

She steps forward until she stands next to me. "Are you truly a seer?" she asks. I freeze up. For all my claim of knowledge about Pagan religions, and the world of Thedas, was I really a seer? "I...don't know," I answer, finally. I had asked Ella to use my money to purchase Dragon Age: Origins for the Mac on our Steam account. This way, I could show them. "It's...hard to explain," I say, at her accusing stare. "Then show me," she demands. Sighing heavily, I pull out the computer. It's almost dead, only at 14%. "Do me a favor, first, or I won't be able to show you jack shit," I say. Her eyes narrow. "What do you wish of me?" she asks. "Can you hold an electricity spell in your hand without actually casting? I…want to see if something happens," I say, thoughtfully. Morrigan's eyes narrow, but she does as I ask. I hand her the end of the computer charger that goes in the wall, and I plug the rest up to my computer. I could completely fry the damn thing right here, or I could have stumbled on a gold mine.

It starts charging. I let out a whoop. "How long can you hold that spell?" I ask. Morrigan sighs heavily, "for quite some time. What do you need me to do this for?" I smile. "This thing holds a charge. If the charge isn't constantly built up, it becomes useless," I explain. I pull up the game and hit start, Morrigan sitting on the bed next to me with the charger held in her hand. The spell crackles and sparkles, and the electricity is...beautiful.

Morrigan doesn't take it well. "Your people think our lives are a game?" she snarled, and suddenly the lightning spell in her hand was very, very threatening. "That's because in my world, this shit isn't real. We like to watch and read and play the sad, horrible tragedies that are someone else go through. It's not the sort of game you're used to. What about your mother? She'd treat the templars chasing you as a game! It's different, I'll admit, but it's not treated as a joke," I say, crossing my arms and standing. I pace away from her. Part of it is from the suddenly flare of anxiety that threatens to reduce me to tears, and the other part is to get a little farther from her. Negative energy rolls off of her in waves, threatening to overwhelm me.

She takes a deep breath, and for a split second I'm sure she's going to hurl a spell at me. "Perhaps I have misunderstood. Could we go over this _game_ of yours, a little at a time, each day, and I can understand more," she says. I let out a breath I hadn't been aware of holding. _Oh thank fuck._ "Of course! This...game, though, is just another way of telling a story. It is...an interactive book. Play. Movie. Fuck," I say, running my shaking hands through my hair. Wow, from collected to scattered in the span of three minutes. A new record for me. Then again, Morrigan was terrifying. "I...will leave you, for now," Morrigan says, letting the spell in her hand dissipate before dropping the cord and exiting the room. I let out another deep breath. That had gone...better than I expected. I hadn't gotten a fireball to the face, at least.

We gather the others later. Cailan hasn't left the upstairs of the tavern in three days, and he's going crazy. He jumps at the chance to join in the meeting, although before everyone has had a chance to filter into the small room, he's already pacing. Then I realize, as soon as everyone does get into the room and get settled, they're all staring at me. "Uh, just a moment," I squeak. I have anxiety pills in my backpack, meant for when I start to panic. And I'm definitely starting to panic. My backpack is in the corner of the room; I have to duck behind Leliana and Alistair to get it. Garrus follows me insistently, licking me whenever he can reach. Bless his poor little puppy heart, he can sense that I'm all anxious. It's getting harder to breathe as I tear through the bag looking for the pills. Oh, great, another bad anxiety attack. How fun. Most of them have the sense, however, not to look at me while I dig around. Cailan glances at me worriedly, but he's the only one besides Garrus. Finally, I find the pills and unscrew the cap. I have a good supply with me, a full bottle. I don't know why I'd thought to putting both of them in my backpack was a good idea, especially when I had a car I could stash the extra bottle in, but I was thanking every god and goddess I knew of for my wonderful foresight. I'd have to remember to use them very sparingly. In about thirty minutes, I'd be loopy as all hell, but it was better than this crushing panic. I barely managed to swallow the pill down, but once I'd gotten it down, I started feeling better immediately. I knew the damn thing wasn't even thinking about kicking in yet, but I felt better knowing that it'd start soon. I stand back up and squeeze past Leliana into the center of the room.

"So, all-knowing seer, start talking," Eldris demands. I glare at him. I'm feeling a little anger through the panic, which is good. "All right, listen here. The future isn't set in stone. We've already messed with a lot. In my visions, Cailan died along with Duncan and Loghain sort of went crazy. Well, Cailan's not dead and Loghain is looking for Cailan, not demanding the Grey Wardens be executed for his supposed murder," I say. Eldris crosses his arms, returning my glare. "How do we know you're not making this up on the information you already have?" he asked. "You were hunting in the forest with your friend Tamlen when you found some humans. They told you they'd been in a ruin with elven artifacts, saw a demon, and ran. Tamlen wanted to go explore the ruins, so he did, and you found an eluvian. Tamlen touched the mirror, there was an explosion, and Duncan hauled your ass back to you clan's camp. You, by the way, belonged to the Sabre clan. You were sick with the taint, but your Keeper sent you to go find Tamlen. You get there to find the ruins crawling with darkspawn, and Duncan by the mirror. He tells you that the eluvian is Tevinter in origin, but that's a lie. The ancient elves of Arthalan used the eluvians for transportation and communication. After Duncan shattered the mirror, your clan held a funeral for Tamlen, and you left to travel to Ostagar," I say, crossing my arms as well. Eldris narrows his eyes.

"How do you know all this?" he asks. I smirk. "I'm a seer, remember?" I retort. "Fine. I believe you for now. So, the future is changing. What does that mean?" he asks. I take a deep breath. "I'm not sure, actually. I've not had any new...visions," I say, glancing at Morrigan. Her lips thin, but she doesn't say anything. Cailan comes to stand beside me, putting his hand on my shoulder. He leans over, his lips near my ear. I try not to cringe. "Are you going to tell them about your...whatever dream you had?" he asks, his voice barely audible to me. I glance up at him. "Should I?" I mouth. He nods, stepping back. I don't miss the gleam in Leliana's eyes. "Well, okay, so, I mean, I guess I've had a vision, just not the helpful kind. So, I kind of sort of come from another world. Maybe I came through the Fade, I don't know, but back there, I'm dead," I say.

I'm greeted with a shocking silence. I expected Eldris to make a bitter remark, but I got nothing from no one for a good long moment. "How are you dead? You're right here," Leliana says. I run my hand through my hair. It's still shaking. "I don't know. It was...pretty ugly, actually, when I found out. But back there I'm dead. I contacted my friend using my computer and she...said it wasn't pretty when I died. She won't say much else about it. I...don't know exactly how it happened. But I'm dead to everyone there, and death is a one-way street, so I guess I'm stuck here." I could have said something sappy about how there's no place I'd rather be stuck if I couldn't be back home, but I don't have the heart to do it. There's a very large part of me that does want to wake up back in my bed at home. I miss almost everything, even the shitty lunchroom food that I'd never eat. It's like someone punched a gaping hole in my chest, and while I love pretty much everyone from Dragon Age, it's not home. I try not to think about it.

"Point is, you don't know what we're facing?" Eldris asks. "Not exactly. I have some ideas. Alistair, you still have the treaties that Flemeth gave you, yes?" I ask. Alistair looks startled that I turned my attention to him, and I have to hide a grin. "Yeah, still got 'em," he says. "Have you and Eldris made any plans?" I ask carefully. I don't want to undermine anyone's authority. "No, we haven't," the blonde answers me. "Okay. Well, let me ask you this. The former Commander of the Grey in Ferelden is dead. Which one of you is going to become the new one?" I ask, holding my breath instead of exhaling. Eldris uncurls himself, tugging his fingers through his hair. "I suppose Alistair will be. He's the senior Grey Warden, now. Neither of us had really taken charge. We just knew we had to get to Lothering to talk to you," he says, gently, and for a moment I'm almost sure that my mouth hangs open in shock. Eldris Mahariel, anger incarnate, almost sounded sad. Well, fuck me sideways, do I really get to see some character development?

I glance over at Alistair. He looks...nervous, like he could go for one of my anxiety pills. I almost laugh, and I wonder if the medicine is kicking in yet. "Does that mean you're taking orders from me?" I ask, nonchalantly. I meant it as a joke, but the looks I was getting from everyone seriously started to spook me. "I...suppose we did," Eldris admits. "Don't. I guess we make this a democracy? No one leads anyone. Alistair is the Commander of the Grey now, and I'm sure he's not completely prepared for this, so we'll make him and Eldris take charge and talk to people, but we'll all confer on the big decisions. How does that sound?" I ask. It was a unanimous vote in approval. Thank fuck. But, then, wasn't Eldris supposed to be the Commander of the Grey? Ah, hell, I might have just done did fuck up.

"There's another issue. What am I going to do?" Cailan asks. I freeze. "I hadn't thought that far. Uh, you're the king. What do you think?" I ask. "I was asking your opinion for a reason, Arya. Should we go to Denerim, or should we continue to hide out?" he asks, his face thoughtful. Suddenly, it hit me like a face-full of bricks. The choices I made weren't something I could just go back and reload. If I fucked up, people would suffer. I suddenly needed something stronger than my pills. Then I remembered Zevran. Fuck, I had no idea what to do right now. "Someone needs to get a message to Loghain that the Grey Wardens are responsible for the disappearance of the king," I say, and then Eldris looks at me like I'm a special kind of stupid. Which, in all actuality, I probably am. "Why would we do that?" Alistair asks, perplexed. "In my visions, Loghain blamed the Wardens for Cailan's death. He hired an Antivan assassin, a member of the Crows, and sent them after Eldris and Alistair. In my visions, they managed to persuade the assassin to join us. He became a valuable member of the team. We need him," I say.

Eldris stands, narrowing his eyes at me as he stalks closer. "So to get this assassin, you want to entice Loghain into sending an assassin after us?" he growls. He's standing uncomfortably close, but I don't back down. "Yes. I know what his ambush looks like, and I have faith in your abilities. Trust me, you need Zevran," I say. Eldris continues to glare at me for a few heartbeats before sighing heavily and turning away. "Very well. Leliana, do you think you could start that rumor circulating?" he asks. He meets Alistair's gaze for a second afterwards, as if seeking approval. Alistair nods, and Eldris actually smiles. I have the sudden desire to get to know Eldris personally, to see what he's like under his very spiky personality. "I can do that, yes," she agrees.

"Is there anything else we need to discuss?" Eldris asks. "Yes," Alistair answers, and I wonder where this is going. "We have the treaties, and we have Arl Eamon. Who do we go to first? Does the entire group go? Do we split up? What happens?" he asks. I am so glad that someone else managed to think of this. "We don't split up, no matter what. It'll just screw us over in the long run," I say. Leliana, Cailan, Elishia, and Brett all agree with me, thankfully. "Okay, so we'll stay together. Who do we go to first?" Eldris asks. "Arl Eamon. If Loghain does go power-mad, Eamon can shelter us," I suggest. "I agree with Arya. Once Eamon is recovered and Loghain sends the assassin, we should take Cailan to Denerim and resolve the political tension," Leliana agrees. "That….sounds like a passable idea," Morrigan says. Eldris nods his head in agreement, much to my surprise. "We should adapt the plan as we go, of course," Alistair suggests. "Most definitely. Plans tend to be fluid," Elishia says, and Brett nods along. So, that's step one down. Great. "Anything else?" Cailan asks. No one has anything to add, so the majority of them filter out of the room.

I stop Eldris before he can leave. "Yes, Arya, what do you want?" he asks, his voice holding a modicum of annoyance. "I...want to talk to you. It doesn't have to be now," I say, feeling small. He nods, leaning casually against the wall. "What about?" he asks, and he doesn't seem so annoyed now. "I really wanted to learn more about elven culture and the Dalish. And more about you, too," I say, and my voice is soft and shaky. Damn. When was that damned medicine going to kick in? "Oh? Why do you want to know?" he asks, sounding genuinely curious. I'm relieved. I'd assumed he would snap at me. "I...well, I have a mostly-forgotten religion too. The Church, which is like the Chantry here, kind of erased all records of most of it. They said it was evil. They still do. I...wanted to see if there were any similarities," I admit. Eldris actually smiles. It's soft and warm, and oh god, I want to be this dork's friend. "We can talk more once we leave Lothering," he promises. I smile brightly at him, and I'm sure my relief and excitement shows on my face. "Hey, I have another question too," I say, glancing at the tattoos on his face. I knew they were made with blood, remembering the conversation Merrill had with Fenris in the second game. "Yeah?" he asks.

"Do you know how to do tattoos that aren't the special Dalish ones?" I ask. Eldris's eyes widen slightly. "I do, yes. Do you want one?" he asks. "I...would, yes. I have something picked out. I….don't know if you could do it. I saved it on my computer. I want several, actually. Some...some are about my religion, but others are just...reminders," I say, wrapping my arms around myself. I'd never really told anyone the meaning behind the tattoos I wanted. Eldris smiles at me again, actually reaching out to pat me on the shoulder. "I'll work something out for you, then," he promises, and moves towards the door. He stops with one hand one the handle, turning to look at me over his shoulder. "I suppose that dog has taken up with you?" he asks. "Yes," I say, cautiously, drawing the word out. "Good. You'd make a better owner," he says, and then he's gone.


	10. Chapter 10

We leave Lothering the next morning before dawn. Which means Cailan woke me up about two hours before dawn, along with the others, so I could get ready to leave. I am not a morning person. Mornings, for me, involve a lot of angry groaning and bitching about the necessity of being awake. Which, in the mornings, is almost non-existent for me. Cailan knew this already from the mornings he'd woken me after we'd left Ostagar, and he also knew that bribery was an acceptable way to get me moving.

"Come on, Arya. If you get up and get dressed by the time everyone else, I'll carry your pack all day today," he cajoles. I roll over, burying my face in the pillow. "Not worth it," I call back. I hear a heavy sigh. "If you get up and get dressed by the time the rest of us have, I'll carry _you_ the entire day," he offered. I rolled back over. It was so much nicer to wake up to a single candle as a source of light instead of the massive fucking ceiling light that illuminates the entire bedroom far too brightly. "Maybe," I say, and Cailan snorts. "Then I'll go get Eldris," he says, and I scramble out of the bed so fast that I wind up in the floor in a tangle of blankets. Cailan laughs, reaching down to pull me up by the back of my shirt. "I'm up, I'm up," I grumble. I lean against him. "Are you sure about that?" he teases. "Maybe," I answer, and I want to burrow under the covers again. "There's some ice cold water in the basin if that'll help," he suggests. "I can get dressed in like ten minutes. Just...ease me into the world of awareness," I mumble, and he laughs as I snuggle against him. "We leave in two hours," he warns.

"Prolly will take you that entire two hours to get all that armor on," I mutter. My eyes fly open as he shifts me so that I'm sitting on the bed instead of his lap. "Not quite, but close. It's harder to manage than the leather I bought for you," he answers. "Mmm, maybe one day I can wear your armor. Or, like, armor just like yours but fitted for me," I say, stretching as I fall back onto the sheets, arching my back. Oh, sweet Christ, stretching feels amazing. "I think that would knock you over before you had the chance to get up," he retorts, stretching out beside me. "Mmm, probably," I answer, and then I sit up with a loud groan. "I'll leave you to get dressed. Meet us in the common room when you're done," he tells me, and then the room is empty aside from me.

I really wish I could pull on some jeans and a t-shirt and be ready to go, but I also remembered the convenient darkspawn attack. I'd already warned others, so that was why we were gearing up in full sets of armor. I had also told them that I didn't know how to fight. "Just shoot more fire at them," was what Cailan had said. Right, because I totally did that on purpose and can recreate the event whenever I please. Good job, genius. Regardless, I pull on the leather armor. It doesn't take me as long as I'd feared to fasten all the buckles. I pull my hair up into a ponytail, strap two mostly useless daggers to my hips, and then I'm ready to go. I shoulder my pack, double checking to make sure I have everything. Well, mostly everything. I'm more than happy to leave my textbooks and school notes in the fireplace. Fuck those.

Eldris is the only one already dressed and ready to go, sitting downstairs with a cup of tea. Garrus is curled up at the bottom of the stairs, although he looks up sleepily whenever he sees me. I join Eldris at his table, and the innkeeper wordlessly brings me a cup of hot tea with a little bowl of sugar. I spoon some in and take a sip. Eldris looks far more tired than I feel. "Not a morning person either?" I ask. "There was never any reason for me to be up this early with my clan, unless we were on the move," he answers. "I had to get up early nearly every morning. I hated it," I say, and Eldris gives me a soft smile. "Looks like you're still going to be getting up far too early," he remarks. "If we do this every day, I will refuse. I need more sleep than that," I threaten, and Eldris grins. "I'll protest with you," he says, and I smile. Morrigan comes down the stairs, then, and joins us at our table. She glances at me, then down at my pack. I shake my head slightly, and she nods. If Eldris notices our exchange, he doesn't comment on it.

Leliana and Elishia join us next, followed by Brett. Cailan joins us last. We all take the time to nurse at least one cup of hot tea, and it tastes much better than what I drink at home. I wonder if I could show them some modern foods. Like pizza. Mostly pizza. God, I really wanted some pizza then.

And then began the fun part. An entire day of walking. Not half a day. Not a day with some rests. An entire day of walking with no rests. I was ready to die. And my traveling companions were well aware of this fact. I'm surprised none of them did me a favor and murdered me right there. Of course, they're be a short stop as we left Lothering where we'd get the pleasure of fighting for our lives.

As we came upon the darkspawn attack, everyone else rushed ahead. Leliana hung back only a short distance, firing arrow after arrow into the fray. I wondered how she managed to avoid hitting one of our people. Morrigan hurled lightning bolts with an almost ethereal grace. Cailan and Alistair were doing a wonderful job of tanking, and Eldris had moved across the battlefield to check on Bodahn and Sandal. I hung back, my hands halfway up, until a darkspawn broke cover and ran at me. I was almost paralyzed with sudden fear. It was ugly, and nothing in hell could have prepared me for the stench. It reminded me of that time when our freezer had broken and all the meat inside had spoiled. And I'd been stuck cleaning it out.

In the movies, everything always slows down when stuff like this happens. Time didn't slow down. It might have even sped up. But I threw my hands up in front of me, and I called to something primal inside of me, ushering it out and hurling it at the darkspawn with everything I had in me. It was energy, pure and simple, and I instinctively twisted it until the darkspawn was frozen in front of me. I brought my hands down in a slashing motion, and the ice shattered, along with the hurlock. Everyone else has taken care of the other darkspawn by now, and for a moment we stand in the suffocating silence. "I think I just learned how to use my magic," I say, taking a deep breath. "Your technique could use some work," Morrigan points out. "Oh, you know what they say. Combat is the best teacher," Eldris remarks, walking slowly forward to stand in front me. "We're traveling with two apostates?" Alistair growls, and the poor man looks like he's about to combust. "I had no idea I was a mage until I came here. Magic didn't exist in my world," I say, shrugging. Cailan grins at me across the battlefield, and I grin back.

By the time we make camp, I'm convinced my feet are seconds away from falling off. Everything ached, but there was an inner part of me that felt energized. Cailan and I had already decided that the two of us would share a tent, and while we walked, it had been decided that I would be kept out of the watch rotation. I would be useless if something did actually attack us. I was a fledgling mage who had no sure idea of how to use her powers, and I had the bravery of a chicken nugget. It wouldn't have ended well.

It was after we had all eaten that I realized something. I wouldn't get regular showers or baths.

Part of me died inside with this realization, and Cailan had the nerve to _laugh._


	11. Chapter 11

That night, as I sat next to the fire, after my small breakdown upon realization on the lack of a regular bath, Morrigan came and sat next to me. "Time for the game?" I ask. "No. I was thinking. You are a mage, clearly. You demonstrated that today. Yet you have had no proper training. Perhaps I should take over. You are helping us defeat the Blight, after all," she says, and I tense up. Training doesn't sound fun at all, yet it was something completely necessary. Oh, god, was adulthood actually approaching? "Of course. I had no idea what I was doing. Magic...well, this kind of magic, anyway, doesn't exist back in my world," I say, slowly putting the bowl of stew I had been eating on the ground and turning to face her. "I would like to start tomorrow night, when we make camp. Eldris has already informed me that he plans on spending the majority of this evening with you," Morrigan says, standing and dusting off her skirt. "Oh?" I say, immediately interested. Eldris was a very prickly man, obviously, but he had layers it seemed like. Morrigan nodded, a vague smile on her face, and then made her way back to her segregated camp.

"The two apostates are becoming fast friends, no?" Alistair said. My head snapped up. I knew he didn't mean anything by it; Alistair didn't have anything against mages. He just didn't like the idea of traveling with apostates when that would get all of us in trouble if we were discovered by the Chantry, even with Cailan to throw his royal weight behind us. "Hey, I'd be careful with the apostate remarks. I've seen you naked," I retort. The result is instant. His face turns redder than my jacket, and he makes a choked sound. "What?" he managed, and I had to bite back a laugh. "I'm a seer, remember?" I say. Alistair freezes, a look of horror on his face. "What do you mean?" he squeaks. I smirk, stand up, and go to join Cailan, leaving Alistair to worry.

Cailan is in the process of setting up our tent. Right now, it's a half-erected mess of fabric and poles, and I have no idea how he's managing to make it work. "Want some help?" I ask, sitting down beside him. "Yes, actually. Hold this," he says, handing me a long pole. He wrestles the fabric into position, and then he has me hold the pole steady as he fastens it to the fabric. The result is a mostly straight tent. He has me help him hammer the supports down at the bottom, and then our tent is up just as Eldris walks over to me. "You still want those tattoos?" he asks. Cailan glances at me, one eyebrow raised, but ducks inside the tent to set up our bedrolls. "I do. The first one I want is the symbol of the triple goddess," I say. "Where do you want it?" he asks. "On my back, between my shoulder blades. I'll show you the symbol," I say, ducking inside the tent for a moment. "A tattoo?" Cailan asks, his voice barely above a whisper. "I've wanted one for a long time. Does it bother you?" I ask, flicking my hair out of my eyes as I pull the laptop out of my bag. "No, it doesn't. I'm just surprised. I had no idea you wanted any," he says. I smile before ducking back out of the tent. "I'll see you later," I call out to him, and then Eldris leads me back to his tent.

"Take off your shirt," he orders. I bite back a retort and do as he tells me. He moves behind me, his fingers ghosting over my upper back, just above my bra. "Is this where you want it?" he asks. "Yes. I want it to fit perfectly in between my shoulder blades," I answer. Eldris nods. "Lie down on my bedroll, on your stomach, obviously, and pull up the picture. I'll prepare the needles," he says. Once again, I do as he instructed, settling myself comfortably on my stomach. It's actually really cold. I should have told him I wanted it on my forearm or something. What the fuck was wrong with me? I pull the picture up, and then rest my head on my arms. I have no idea how badly this is going to hurt, but I know it won't be pleasant. "All right, I don't know how they do tattoos where you're from, but here, we use a needle to push color into your skin, and then we coat the entire thing in a minor healing poultice. We don't use enough to heal it completely, only enough to stop the bleeding and keep the swelling down. This will hurt, but I'll put the poultice on as I go, so it won't be too bad. Any questions?" he asks. "Can I play music while you do this? Maybe I can focus on that instead of the fact that there's a needle going into my back," I ask. Eldris grins, one corner of his mouth quirking up. "Of course," he answers, and I take a moment to pick a selection and press play.

He warns me to be still, and then he starts working. It's not as painful as I'd feared, and the poultice soothes the irritation almost before I can feel it. He uses black ink, and he takes his time. "I'm making this neat. It's a part of you, now," he tells me, and I smile. "I'm not going to rush you. Just don't let me freeze to death," I say, and Eldris chuckled. Occasionally he would wipe my skin with an old rag to dab the blood off. Overall, my first tattoo experience went well, and by the time it got dark, Eldris was done. "It'll be sore for a few days, so sleep on your stomach or your side," he tells me, wiping off his needle. "Of course. Thank you, Eldris," I say. I hesitate, then I lean down and hug him. He stands still for a moment before wrapping one arm around my waist. "Now get back to your own tent," he says, pushing me away playfully. I tug the tank top back on as I exit his tent. My back is sore, but it's manageable.

Sten had first watch, and he was sitting next to the camp fire as I exited. He gave me a look, but his face was impassive. I had no idea what he thought of me. He probably didn't like me very much. He followed the Qun, after all, and I was a free mage. I was also a very vocal complainer. I shrugged and ducked inside the tent I shared with Cailan. "Did he finish it?" Cailan asks. He's sitting on his bedroll, a journal open on his lap. "Yeah. Want to see?" I ask. "Of course," he says, putting his journal aside. I turn my back to him and peel the tank top up over my shoulders. I hear him stand beside me, and then his hands are on my bare skin. I shiver as he traces the tattoo gently. "He did a remarkable job. What does this symbolize?" he asks. "The Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone aspects of the Goddess," I answer. He lays his hand flat on my back, and I'm sure he could cover the majority of my skin with his hands. I was freakishly tiny. Eldris was larger than me. "Did it hurt?" he asks, pulling his hands away. I let my shirt fall back down. "A little. Not as bad as I'd thought," I answer, stowing my computer back in my bag.

We go to sleep not long after that. We wouldn't be setting out as early in the morning, but it'd still be pretty early. I had gotten somewhat used to rising early and traveling all day on the way to Lothering, so I knew what to expect. Which meant that I knew everything would hurt and I'd hate myself for letting them drag me along, basically. It was nice to sleep next to Cailan, though, after a couple hours laying shirtless in the cold. He was like a personal heater.

The next morning, I was stiff and all my muscles were sore. I was very good about not complaining, though. I only groaned a couple times as I stretched before leaving the tent. Cailan had left sometime just before dawn for his turn to keep watch, and he'd been the one who woke me. It was a much easier task this morning than yesterday. I felt grimy, so I convinced Leliana to go down to the stream with me. "I suggest just washing your face," she said, kneeling down in front of the water. Screw that. I was going to wash my face AND my hair, because I felt seriously gross. The water was freezing, and by the time I finished my lips were turning blue and I was shivering, but I was somewhat cleaner than I had been before. Leliana led me to the fire and handed me a bowl full of porridge. So far, this was fulfilling all of the stereotypes I had in my head, aside from the fact that King Cailan wasn't a snooty asshole.

I had no idea where we were at or where we were going, even when they handed me the map. Sten seemed to be more and more annoyed by my presence, but so far the others were warming up to me. I just hoped I didn't piss Sten off horrendously. Halfway through the day, after we'd stopped for lunch, I dropped back to walk beside of him. "I know where you can find your sword, Sten, unless something has changed," I say. Sten actually stops walking. "What do you know of Asala?" he demands. "It's in Redcliffe. Some dwarf has it. I'm not sure what his name is, but we can easily get directions to his house from someone in the village. I'll help you get her back. I know how the Qunari view their swords. If you returned without it, you'd be viewed as a soulless deserter," I say. "I am impressed. How do you know about the Qunari?" he asks. "I'm a seer," is all I say before I jog to catch up with Cailan. He slings his arm around my shoulders, pulling me against his side. I pointedly ignore the look Leliana sends me.

When we set up camp again, Alistair assures us that we are only a week from Redcliffe. It's also my turn to pull cooking duty, so I boot up the computer and let Morrigan attempt to play. "Just follow the directions on screen," I tell her. I also bring the charger out and have her hold a lightening spell when she can. It's only after I get Morrigan set up and face the empty pot on the stove that I realize I'm not entirely sure how to cook Ferelden food. Anything that I'd fix, such as pasta, isn't available here. So I dump some water in the pot, throw in some vegetables, and chop up some meat. I throw in what spices I find, and hope for the best. How hard can it be, after all?

The meal isn't completely terrible. It was certainly better than whatever Alistair had fixed last night. Morrigan looked thoughtful as I helped her save the game and shut it down so she could eat. "Is it as terrible as you feared?" I asked. She smiled, although it didn't reach her eyes. "I have yet to make my mind up," she answers. I nod in response. I could respect that. I sat next to Eldris as we ate. Cailan had gone off with Alistair to train before they ate their meal, and I wasn't keen on waiting. While we ate, we talked quietly. He briefly told me about the Dalish gods and goddesses, and while we cleaned up, I told him about the God and the Goddess. He seemed interested in my religion, and I was more than interested in his. "You know, Arya, you could almost be one of the Dalish. You're certainly short enough," he teased. I elbowed him, but he dodged, so that my elbow barely grazed his chest. "I wish I was an elf. I mean, I know you guys are seriously oppressed, but I wish I'd woken up as an elf, so we could kick this Blight's ass together and show the world that elves are great too," I say. Eldris grins at me. "Elves are great anyway. Definitely nicer than humans," he informs me. I snort. "You'll get no argument from me."

After that, Morrigan stole me away once more. She took me a short distance away from the camp, and we began my training. She asked me what I'd felt as I'd reached out and grabbed the magic within me. "It was almost like a song. It was...alive. It made me feel alive," I say, and Morrigan nods. "Reach for it again," she instructs. I try, but I'm all too aware of her eyes on me. I take a few deep breaths, and begin a meditation. She says nothing, and gradually her presence fades, and I reach inside of me again. The magic responds, lighting up behind my eyelids like a supernova. When I open my eyes, light streams from my palms, with tendrils teasingly chasing around on the ground. "'Tis pretty, but useless," Morrigan remarks, but I'm stunned. I'm doing that. I think about the electricity that Morrigan had been flinging around, and then my hands are full of a purple light. Morrigan allows herself a small smile. "You have proven you can reach your power on demand. Now, we need to test your abilities. I suggest you learn some defensive spells. You are doing well with channeling the basic, primal spells, but those won't keep you from taking any hits. There are several spells I know that can help with that. Once you learn them, you'll just have to find the right balance between defensive and offensive," she says. It sounds nice, especially if using my magic will continue to give me the thrill I feel now.

When I go to sleep, I feel tired, but again, something deeper feels energized. Morrigan informed me that that was because I'd touched the Fade through the use of my magic. That certainly intrigued me. I slept dreamlessly, and when I woke I was even more sore than I'd been the previous day.

The next three days continued in the same manner. We walked all day, monotonously, and when we set up camp I'd spend my time mainly with Cailan, Morrigan, Eldris, and of course Garrus. The dog followed me around constantly. I spoke briefly to the others, but I didn't have the same lengthy conversations with them. I was beginning to fall into a routine, and I wasn't entirely unhappy with it.

 _ **A/N: Thanks to everyone for reviewing! When I decided to start this story I had no idea anyone would read it, much less like it. Now we're eleven chapters in, and some of you are leaving very dedicated reviews! Shoutout to Taffy and Sweetrolls especially for leaving so many! It really inspires me to keep this story going regularly.**_

 ** _Taffy and Sweetrolls: I'm glad you like this story, and I'm glad you like Cailan! As we didn't see much of him in-game, I tried to keep him similar as to what we did see, but I imagine him to be somewhat like Alistair. In my mind, they're both big goofballs._**

 ** _Asilyessam: I'm glad you enjoy reading this! As you can see, I took your suggestion into mind, or, at least, I tried to. Arya will definitely bring up more of his romance whenever he teases her again. I'm glad you like Cailan! (At some point, let me say, I definitely plan on having him come through with his promise to carry her that he made last chapter.)_**


	12. Chapter 12

On the fourth day of this walking hell, Leliana dragged me away from the others to have some 'seriously needed girl talk.' I was equally excited and dreading the chat. I was also very tired of walking, and very grimy, so I insisted we talk while we bathe. Leli was fine with that, surprisingly, so I followed her down to the river we'd been following the last two days. "So, you and Cailan," she says, almost immediately, and I groaned loudly. "What about me and Cailan?" I ask. "Have you talked about your...relationship?" she asks, her eyes glimmering. "Why would we? Nothing has changed," I say, sitting down on the bank to pull my boots off. Damn the cold, I wanted a real bath. I'd take another one the night before we entered Redcliffe, but I was done with being filthy. I wanted to be clean. "Oh, please. I've seen the way he looks at you, Arya," Leliana says. I roll my eyes. Cailan's a great friend and all, but he's a married man. He's also a king. "He's a king and stuff. I'm just me," I say, stepping gingerly into the water. It's colder than I'd expected. "Do you like him?" she asks. "He's a very good friend, Leli," I answer, already shaking from the cold as I grope around for the bar of soap. Leliana hands it to me, stepping into the water herself. "Talk to him about it, Arya. Or I'll talk to him for you," she threatens. "You wouldn't dare!" I exclaim, splashing water at her. She dodges nimbly. "I just might, Ar. Just talk to him," she prods. I sigh heavily, scrubbing my skin with the soap. "Fine. I'll talk to him tonight. Away from the camp. And no, you can't listen in," I say. I'll also have my anxiety pills hidden in my jacket, but she doesn't need to know that.

True to my promise, once I'm clean and dressed and thawed out, I walk with Cailan a short distance away from camp so we won't be overheard. I'm not looking forward to this conversation at all, and I feel a little sick, but it's Cailan. He settles himself on a rock as I make a pile of a bunch of sticks. I'm getting better at challenging my mana, so it's not even a problem to light the pile on fire. "You're getting good at that," Cailan says. I climb onto the rock next to him, grinning. "I try," I answer, and Cailan nudges me gently. "So why'd you drag me out here?" he asks. "Leliana is making me," I say. Cailan mock-flinches. "Ow, you don't want to talk to me that badly?" he says, and I shake my head, elbowing him gently.

"So, seriously, what is this about?" he asks. "I, ah…shit. I'm completely unprepared for this conversation," I say, running my fingers through my hair. "What conversation?" he asks, and I'm convinced that he's doing this on purpose. "Lelianatoldmeyoulikedme," I say, my words coming out in a rush. Cailan raises an eyebrow, opens his mouth to respond, and then Morrigan crashes through the bushes into the clearing we're in. "ARYA, I MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN A PERSON TRAPPED INSIDE YOUR COMPUTER," she yells, looking very panicked. All awkwardness with Cailan is forgotten as I gently take the laptop from Morrigan's hands. Ella is on the screen, laughing her ass off. "Morrigan, this is called a Skype call and let me assure you now that this asshole is not in any way, shape, or form, stuck inside my computer," I say. She frowns, crossing her arms, and I mute the laptop. She doesn't need to hear Ella cackle.

"This is a way to talk to someone face to face when they aren't actually here," I explain. Morrigan's frown deepens, and Cailan snorts. I elbow him not-so-gently and shoot him a glare. "Let's get back to the main camp. Ella wants to meet everyone there, don't you, El?" I ask, unmuting the computer. "I hate you," she says, and I grin as I lead the way back to the camp. "So, where the hell are you guys?" she asks. I glance down at the screen. "That's a question for Alistair. We're somewhere in between Lothering and Redcliffe. Not sure exactly where," I say. El actually looks surprised. "That's where you're going first?" she asks, raising an eyebrow. "I told them, you know. We all decided it would be best to get Eamon first, 'cause then Cailan can go back to Denerim," I say quietly. "That makes sense, I guess," she says, and I know she wants to say something about the order I always do things in the game. But this isn't a game anymore, is it?

When I get back to camp, everyone swarms me. "One at a time, please, so I can introduce you to Ella," I say, motioning for everyone to calm down. Cailan pulls me onto his lap, and Leliana shoots me a glance. I ignore her. "Come on, Morrigan. Let me introduce you to her properly," I say, and Morrigan leans down, her head nearly resting on my shoulder. She actually smells really good. "So, who is this?" Morrigan asks, the normal disdain seeping into her tone. "This is Ella. She's my best friend back in my world. Oh! That reminds me! I totally have to show her what I can do," I say. Morrigan turns to me, raising an eyebrow, and she's still really close. Help me, I've fallen and can't get up. "Show me what?" Ella demands. "Cailan, hold the computer. She's gotta see this," I say. "Arya, you're going to exhaust yourself if you use your talent for pretty light shows," Morrigan warns. "I know what I'm about, son," I say, as Cailan adjusts and takes the computer, holding it out as far as he can. I tilt the camera so she can see.

And then I reach into myself, towards the song, and light bursts from my palms. I twist it and turn it in an elaborate light show, glancing at the screen occasionally to make sure El can see. "Holy shit. Is that magic?" she asks. I let the light dim in my palms. "Yes! I'm totally a mage!" I say, grinning. El grins too. "Shoot some lightning at fools, will you?" she asks. "But you're in another world," I tease, and she gives me a mock-glare. Morrigan shakes her head somewhat fondly, and Eldris comes up to me next. He does lean his chin on my shoulder. "And who's this?" Ella demands. "This is Eldris. He's one of the Dalish elves," I say, and El smirks at me. She knows how much I like elves in pretty much anything. She doesn't share my fascination. "I also gave your friend here a tattoo," Eldris says, motioning to me. "No fucking way. You have a tattoo?" Ella squeaks. It's my turn to smirk. She's got to wait an entire year before she can get one of her own. "You're damned right I do, sweetheart. I'm going to get another one in a few days, too," I say. "That's not fair," she protests. "I think she's earned a few tattoos. She misses a lot of the technology that you guys have," Eldris says. Ahh, a voice of reason on my side.

"Still. I want a tattoo," El pouts. If she'd been sitting in front of me, I'd have pinched her cheeks for it. "Alistair, c'mon! You should meet her too!" I say. "Oh, no, I don't think I need to do that," he says. I glance at Eldris, doing my best puppy-eyes. "Alistair! Get over here to meet her!" Eldris calls out firmly as he steps to the side. "Oh, fine," Alistair says, and then he's standing at my shoulder too. I have to tilt the computer upwards so Ella can see him. He's so damn tall. "Hi, yes, it's me, can I go now?" Alistair says, looking nervous. "I won't keep you. I just wanted to meet you," Ella says, and Alistair lets out a sigh of relief and slinks out of sight. Leliana bounds up behind me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. "Are you this Ella I've been hearing so much about?" she asks, her voice a pleasant sing-song in my ear. "What has she told you?" Ella demands. "Oh, a bit of this, and a bit of that," Leliana answers, a shit-eating grin on her face. Goddess, I love this woman sometimes. "I swear to God, Arya, if you have told any embarrassing stories about me I will kill you so dead," she threatens. "Sssh, El. Calm down before you leak strawberry filling," I say, and Leliana laughs in my ear. "Yeah, yeah, make jokes at my expense," Ella grumbles. Leliana stands up, slowly letting go of me, and going back to her seat at the fire. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about something serious. Alone. Or alone-ish," she says. Immediately, I stand. "Can Cailan here this too?" I ask. A thousand scenarios pass through my head, each of them worse than the last. Ella nods wordlessly. I glance at him and he nods, so I lead the way back to the clearing we were at.

I sit the computer down on the rock and tilt the camera up so she can see my face. "James is...bad again," she says. "Does he know I'm alive?" I ask. El hesitated, biting her lip. "He didn't believe me. I showed him screenshots and everything, but he doesn't. And he's...angry at himself," she says. "I'll take care of it. I'll message him," I say. "Be careful. I'll be on standby. Let me know if I'll have to call the police," she says, and ends the call. I let out a deep, ragged breath, running my fingers through my hair, and I open Facebook. _Hey, James, it's me. I'm not dead._ Cailan puts a hand on my waist, turning me so I can look up at him. "What's going on?" he asks. "Our friend is in a bad mindset,," I answer, and Cailan looks puzzled. "What do you mean?" he asks. "I'm not sure yet." _i can't do anything right i'm sorry i'm sorry i couldn't save you,_ comes the reply, a few seconds later. Shit. He is bad. _You couldn't have stopped it. Besides, I'm not really dead, so there's nothing for you to save._ I answer. Cailan puts his hand on my back. I glance up at him, but then the computer dings. _no, you are dead. i saw them lower you into your grave and i don't know how you're talking to me right now but it must be to punish me because i couldn't save you i can't save anyone and i'm sorry i really am._ "Shit," I breathe. Before I'd, well, died, I'd have just driven over to his house. I couldn't do that now. Cailan leans down, reading over my shoulder. Somewhere in the middle of reading the second message, I'd started to shake. _James, you listen to me, and you listen to me right now. I am not dead. I have never been dead. I'm not sure what it's like. I don't know what happened, but I switched realities. You won't believe where I am,_ I send back. I lean back, away from the computer, and press the heel of my hand to my eyes. I'd started crying somewhere, apparently. Cailan wraps his arms around me. The computer dings again, and we shift enough so I can read it. _i cant do this anymore. i could have if i hadn't started talking to a ghost that's making fun of me,_ he said, and I opened a message to Ella. _call. i made him worse, i think, or he was so bad i couldn't help him._

I shut the computer quietly after she'd sent back a message. _they're on their way._ I lean against Cailan again. "Ella called the police. They'll make sure he's okay. He thought I was just a ghost or something making fun of him, like it was all a sick joke," I mumble, my face pressed against his chest. "You couldn't do anything more to help him," Cailan said. "I know. It's just…" I say, trailing off. In that moment, I am completely miserable. Ferelden is cold and unfamiliar and people are already trying to kill me. "I want to go home," I whimper, and Cailan's arms tighten around me. "I want to take you guys and find out how to go home. I don't wanna be in Thedas anymore. It's not home," I say. I want to sleep in my bed, and take a shower every night, and have access to disgustingly greasy food. I wanted to see my friends and family. "It'll be okay. If you truly desire to go home, after the Blight is defeated, we will find a way to send you back," Cailan says slowly, his voice thick. I shake my head. I know they couldn't come with me, and I didn't want to leave them. "I...I just miss it. Ferelden isn't home, yet. I just...there's so many things I'm going to miss," I say, pulling back enough to scrub at my eyes with my jacket sleeves. Cailan leans down, pressing his lips to my forehead. "Are you sure? I do not wish to see you go, but you're right. Ferelden isn't your home," he says. I shake my head decisively.

"It could be."

 _ **A/N: I'm sorry it took so long to get the chapter up. I got sick and I just couldn't bring myself to write. I'm better now, and I'm going to try to get the next chapter out a lot sooner. Thanks to everyone for the reviews!**_

 _ **Inquisitor Hawke: I'm glad you like the idea! I was toying around with several, and it's definitely going to be a "should I do this" on Arya's part because infidelity isn't looked fondly upon here, but I hate Anora too. I'm going to try to make her a little less hate-able in this fic.**_

 _ **Taffy and Sweetrolls: You are a big reason I make myself get off my butt and get new chapters done. So thanks for that! And the dog keeps getting to me too. I thought about going to change his name, but I've just not included much about him. I may change that and give him an affectionate nickname or something.**_


	13. Chapter 13

We made it to Redcliffe without any more interruptions. I didn't speak to Ella or James, or anyone from back home, and I pointedly put them out of my mind. Redcliffe was bustling when we got there. There were no signs of any walking corpses attacking the town, and the guards recognized Alistair. They would have recognized Cailan as well if he hadn't been wearing a hood that obscured his face. As it was, the guards ushered us into the castle and showed us to guest rooms. We had requested that we double up on rooms, and I was left sharing with Leliana and the dog. Once we'd gotten settled into our rooms, Alistair was whisked away with Eldris to meet with Arl Eamon, who was not sick at all. I made a mental note to meet with Isolde later, although Goddess knew I was dreading that conversation. Leliana went off to explore the castle, and I was left alone with Garrus.

"Hey, buddy. You know, I think you need a nickname," I said. He perked his ears up and cocked his head, letting out a questioning whine. I love this dog. "Maybe G-dog? Hah, get it? Cause you're a dog?" I say. The dog shakes his head. "Yeah, that name kinda sucks. Russ?" I suggest. The dog shakes his head again. "I could just call you Puppy," I say. He hesitates, and then he nods. "Puppy it is, then. It reflects how precious you are," I say, scratching behind his ears. It was an uncreative name, but calling him Garrus all the time left me feeling homesick. Shouldn't have named him that in the first place. He lets out a happy bark and licks my hand. Yeah, I really love this dog. "You know, Puppy, I think you're my favorite dog ever," I say. He lets out a bark that seems to say 'damned right I am!'

The door opens and Cailan enters. He shuts the door firmly behind him and practically rips the hooded cloak off. "I hate that thing," he mutters petulantly, flopping backwards onto the bed. "Yeah, but you'd hate being recognized even more," I retort, uncurling myself from the floor. "I don't know. It might have it's advantages," he says. "Yeah, but we need Zevran, and we won't get him if Loghain finds out you're here willingly or something," I say, stretching out next to him. I was grateful that the conversation we'd had at Leli's insistence hadn't left things ridiculously awkward between us.

Cailan turns onto his side, propping up on his elbow to look at me. "I'm surprised that you haven't gone to take a bath yet," he says. "I was waiting for someone to come down to the village with me. I need some casual Ferelden clothing," I admit. "I could go with you. We can take the dog," he offers. I grin. "You'll have to wear the cloak," I say. "As long as I get to pick out your clothes, it's worth it," he says. I let out a mock groan, but get to my feet. "Is that a yes?" he asks. "It is until I change my mind," I answer, and Cailan scrambles to his feet almost awkwardly as I tug on my boot.s He reaches over and steadies me just as I pitch to the side. "Thanks," I say, gripping his arms to steady myself. He smirks at me, making a show of letting go only once I was properly balanced. I stick my tongue out at him and reach for the cloak, sweeping it around his shoulders. I fasten it at his neck and stretch onto my tiptoes to pull the hood down over his face. "Are you sure people would recognize me?" he complains. "I could let you wear my jacket if you hate that cloak so much," I offer, already reaching for it. "Would it fit?" he asks. "It should," I answer, and the cloak is already on the floor. I laugh and toss him my jacket, which he pulls on gratefully. I reach up and adjust the hood for him. It covers his face just as well as the hood on the cloak, and it's softer and not as hot. He reminds me of Brad in this moment, and my heart twists painfully in my chest. I link my arm through Cailan's and lean my head against his shoulder for a brief moment. He stoops down and kisses the top of my head. "Let's go," I say, pulling my head off his shoulder suddenly, picking up my coinpurse and leading the way out of the castle.

Redcliffe is, as before, bustling. I find myself clinging to Cailan before we're even out of the castle gates. He moves his arm so that it's around my waist. I am effectively tucked against his side. I have no complaints, either. Cailan seems to know the village well, leading me through easily while keeping his head tucked down. I can't stop myself from staring, though. Redcliffe is so much different than in-game. There's a dirty market square full of small wooden stands. Haggard people try to sale their wares from these stands. It's so much larger than in game, too, and I realise how much I don't belong. Cailan pulls me into a tailor's shop. It's a small building crammed onto a corner, but it's bright inside, and warm. The seamstress, or who I assume is the seamstress, is sitting behind her desk writing in a journal. She's old, and she looks up as we come in, peering at us. "Hello, dears," she greets, gently laying her quill down on the table. "Hello, Mistress. My friend here would like three or four dresses, and a set of traveling clothes," Cailan says, letting go of me and stepping up to the desk. "Of course. Let me get a good look at her," she says, and I nervously step forward. She examines me critically, reaching out to touch my hair and face, nodding to herself before withdrawing her hand. "I may have a few dresses that will fit you with little work. I could have them ready before you leave the shop. What sort of quality are you looking for?" she asks. I glance to Cailan helplessly.

"She would like two gowns suitable to wear at court, and two sturdy dresses," he says. The woman nods to herself, and then ducks behind a curtain. "Just a moment! I think I have the two court dresses ready!" she calls, and I glance at Cailan, reaching up to rub the necklace I'm wearing. He smiles at me, and then the woman comes back into the main room, three dresses hanging off of her arms. They're beautiful. They look like they're made out of silk. One of them is a dark red, almost the color of blood, and one is a pale green, and the last one is a pale purple. "The red will look best on you, dear, with your hair and eyes," she says, laying them carefully on the counter. "We'll see which two look best on you with the cut and style, and which two fit the best. Would you like to step behind the curtain or send your friend outside? Or is he fine to stay?" she asks, giving me an encouraging smile. I glance to Cailan. I don't want him to see me almost naked, per say, but I don't want to be left alone with the woman. "I'd like him to stay. But maybe turn his back," I say, and Cailan smirks as he turns around. The woman laughs as she walks over to lock the door. "We wouldn't want anyone to come in while we're measuring you. Now, if you would, please remove your clothes," she says.

I hesitate. I'd never really gotten undressed in front of anyone before, and it was a little daunting. Then I just shrugged and pulled my shirt over my head before tugging my pants off. "You sure I can't turn around?" Cailan asks, a teasing lilt to his tone. "Do it, and I'll strangle you with my pants," I threaten. The woman laughs again. "Are these your usual underclothes?" she asks, glancing at my bra. I resist the urge to cover myself. "Yes," I answer, and Cailan snorts. "Then the purple one probably won't work unless you wear something else under it. I can arrange for you to have new undergarments as well, if you'd like," she offers. I consider. "Please," I say, after a few moments. The woman nods to herself, and then disappears into the back again, coming out a few moments later with a handful of breastbands. "Please remove your breastband," she says professionally as I reach behind me to unclasp it. "Are you sure I can't turn around now?" Cailan asks. I can hear the grin on his face as I chuck the bra at him. He somehow manages to duck.

The woman fits me for two new breastbands. The purple dress and the red dress fit best, and the purple one only needs to be hemmed. The neckline is too low-cut for comfort, but I'll get used to it I suppose. The red one actually fits perfectly, so there were no adjustments needed. "I'd like to wear this one out of the shop," I say, and the woman nods. "After we get your measurements and fabrics picked out for the other dresses, that'll be fine," she says. She spends the next half hour or so measuring me. Halfway through the visit, I'd allowed Cailan to turn around so he could sit on one of the benches. I was glad the shop was warm by the time it was over. I was cold even as I pulled on the dress.

The woman was writing down her final measurements in a separate journal, and I was struggling to lace up the dress. All of a sudden, Cailan was there, his warm fingers brushing mine as he swatted my hands away and laced me up expertly. He grins underneath the hood when I turn back to look at him. He flips my hair over my shoulders and gives me a pat on the back. I search my discarded pile of clothes for my coinpurse as the lady finally finishes her measurements. "I will send the other gown to the castle after the modifications are made, and you will have the other two before the week is out. What's your name, dearie?" she asks. "Arya Peterson. I'm traveling with the Grey Wardens," I say. She nods, making a brief note in her journal. "The total will be six sovereigns," she says, after a moment of scratching on the paper with her quill. I almost wince. That's a lot of money. "All right, let me count that out," I say as she stands and begins putting the clothes I'd discarded in a canvas bag. I get the coins counted out and hold them out to her. "Thank you, my dear," she says, passing me the bag with a smile. I smile back.

Outside, Cailan and I make one more stop so I can pick up some makeup from Ferelden. It's nothing but eyeshadow and lipstick, but I have a feeling it won't dry my eyes out as much. I pick up a couple of hair accessories, too, for a silver. The woman behind the stand thanks me, and then Cailan and I make our way back to Redcliffe Castle. It's nearly time for supper, thankfully. He assures me that Eamon always has wonderful meals. We don't run into anyone until we reach my room. Leliana is inside, fixing her own hair. Cailan leaves me with a bow and a kiss on the hand, heading to his own room to get dressed.

"That dress is beautiful on you, Arya," Leliana says. "Thanks," I say, closing the door behind me and dumping the bag on my bed. "You would look nice with a different necklace. Perhaps silver?" she suggests thoughtfully. "I don't have a silver necklace," I point out. "I do!" she exclaims, and then she pulls one out of her pack after a few moments spent rummaging inside. "Off with that one," she says, moving behind me. I reach around and unclasp the necklace I'm wearing, tucking it inside a neat little hidden pocket in the bodice of my dress. Leliana fixes her silver necklaces around my neck. The pendant is small and tear-shaped, but it's delicate and it does go well with the dress. "Oh, Arya, can I fix your hair and makeup?" she asks. I sigh heavily. If I accept, I will be willingly submitting myself to a unique form of torture. "Of course, Leli," I say, sliding into the chair in front of the vanity mirror. Leliana lets out a squeal and grabs a mixture of makeup that had come with me and makeup I'd bought today. I close my eyes as instructed, and she goes to work on me.

Twenty minutes later, I hardly look like myself. I have a full face of makeup, but it's not overdone. Leliana is actually really good with the makeup I brought over. She got my eyeliner perfect, and I'm wondering if they have something similar in Orlais. She takes less time to do her own makeup, and we're left with ten minutes or so to wait before we're expecting to be in the dining hall. "So, did you speak to Cailan?" she asks. I almost faceplant onto the bed, and I would have if I hadn't thought of the amazing makeup job Leli did that would be ruined. "Yes, I spoke to Cailan, but Morrigan interrupted and that was the most terrible thing I have ever done and so I'm not doing that again," I answer. Leliana laughs, reaching out to pat me on the shoulder. "I could talk to him for you," she offers seriously. "I...don't know. I don't think he's all that interested," I say, shrugging. "Arya, you know I'm a bard. And bards read people. Cailan is interested in you, Arya," she says, gently. "Yeah, even if he is, what about Anora?" I ask. "I have heard certain...rumors," she says, that mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "Oh?" I say, twisting the loose fabric of my sleeve around my finger. "I've heard rumors that Anora is barren and unable to produce an heir. There has been talk that Cailan is...considering other options," she whispers. I shake my head. "Regardless, it's time to eat, and I'm hungry, so let's go," I say, grabbing her hand and pulling her down the hallway.

I sit in between Leliana and Cailan, and across from Eldris. Cailan is still wearing my jacket, actually. A man I'm sure is Jowan is just down the table from us. "Hey, uh, could you get a glass of water for me?" I ask Cailan, eyeing the glass of wine that I was served. "Why?" he asks, turning to glance at me. I can barely see his eyes under the hood. It's a little strange. "Uh, I've never drank any sort of alcohol?" I ask. "We have to fix that," the reply came from Eldris, rather than Cailan, and ten seconds later there were several different cups of various alcohol in front of me. "You guys are going to get me wasted," I hiss. Cailan laughs. "I'd like to see that," he replies. "Oh, come on, Arya, just sample them," Leliana urges. I groan, but I have to admit I'm a little curious. "This has to be the worst idea I've ever had," I say, and take a sip of a glass of wine.

I almost spit it out. It's just this side of disgusting. What the fuck? Who drinks this? They all laugh, and then I try another kind that is equally disgusting. The ale that Eldris had been drinking wasn't actually too bad. It tasted like honey. Twenty minutes later, I was sure that they were giving me the same drinks in an effort to get me to drink more. An hour later, I was drunk. There was no other reason I'd be feeling like this. I was laughing way too hard at, well, everything. Cailan had to help me back to me room. "Hey, would you, like, maybe stay?" I ask. "What about Leliana?" he asks. I think for a second, struggling to form coherent thoughts. "She could...she could take your room!" I say. Cailan smiles, leading me over to the bed. The lights were...too bright. I reached behind me for the lacing on the back of the damned dress. Cailan reaches to do it just when Leliana enters. "Have I interrupted something?" she asks, a grin on her face. "Maybe?" I answer, reaching up to push my hair out of my face. "I'll go somewhere else for the night," she says, sounding like she's about to laugh, as she disappears. I frown, struggling to comprehend what had happened. I was tired, and drunk, and that wasn't the best for concentration. I checked to make sure the door was shut before tugging Cailan's hood down. He gave me a grin, and I really wanted to kiss him. What would happen if I did kiss him? "I'd probably kiss you back," he says, his eyes twinkling. "Holy shit, are you mind reader?" I ask. _Don't think about porn, Arya. Do not think about the porn._ "No, you said that out loud," he says. Well, that make more sense than Cailan being a mind reader. "Oh. Okay. Can you undo the back of my dress and unfasten Leli's necklace? I'm tired," I say.

Cailan makes quick work of my dress. I let it pool around my ankles for a moment, admiring the way the silk fell, before I remember how expensive it was. I step out of it and fold it in my best attempt at neatness. Halfway through, Cailan takes over, although his job isn't much better than what I would have done. I leave the necklace on the vanity table and crawl into the bed. The mattress is surprisingly soft, and the sheets are warm. Cailan sheds the majority of his clothes, leaving them scattered on the floor and climbs into the bed next to me. I curl up against him and fall asleep.

I wake up a few hours later, in the middle of the night, squished between Cailan and what I hope is the dog. I struggle to turn over, reaching up to rub my eyes. "Arya?" Cailan asks, sleepily. Something tickles the back of my mind. "Did you tell me you'd kiss me back if I kissed you?" I ask. "Yes, I did. Why?" he mumbles, shifting. "What the fuck?" I say, my head falling back onto the mattress. "We'll talk about it in the morning," he says. "Mhm," I mumble, and then I fall asleep again.

* * *

 _ **A/N: I couldn't come up with a better nickname for the dog, so I just called him Puppy. I mean, I'm sure he'll appreciate when he's an old dog surrounded by grandpuppies. That's how that works, right? I hope I gave Arya a decent reason for changing his nickname too. I know if I was suddenly transported into a medieval world and I named an animal Garrus or anything fandom-y, really, the novelty would wear off pretty quickly and I'd get majorly homesick. I hope the 'nickname' doesn't suck too much. I'm not too creative with naming animals personally. Whoops.**_

 _ **On a quick sidenote where I go down the rabbithole, Arya's is demisexual, which means she only gets sexually attracted to someone after forming an emotional connection. This will be addressed later on in the story, as Arya's relationship with Cailan develops. I'm trying to explore writing different sexualities, gender identities, and romantic orientations, so I hope I can pull this off. Arya will only be comfortable having sex with someone if she trusts them and that emotional connection is there. Does that make sense to other people aside from me? I hope so lol**_

 _ **Inquisitor Hawke: I'm playing around with a few ideas. I might make Anora's marriage to Cailan something both of them hate for reasons and have Cailan take on Arya as a mistress to see if she's comforble in a position like that while he works on getting the paperwork and the nobility to offically recognise his divorce with Anora. If I do that, I'll give her a nice young noble man to fall in love with and stuff so it's a happier ending for everyone. If I don't do that, well, then, maybe Arya will just be Cailan's mistress and she and Anora will hate each other until there's a Very Sad Redemption Arc for Anora in which Arya decides "all right you're not the worst but you're still a bitch." I don't know. If you've got any ideas, I'd appreciate it if you share it. I'm flexible. I can change the story sometimes. Especially when I don't have a concrete plan for said story. I do want Cailan to end up with Arya, but I'm not entirely sure what to do about Anora.**_


	14. Chapter 14

I sleep late in the morning, and I'm only woken by Cailan finally getting out of bed. "Hnnng," I groan, and then something warm and wet moves up and down my arm. I jolt away from it, blinking sleep out of my eyes to see Puppy staring up at me with his head cocked to the side. I fall backwards onto the mattress, patting the dog gently. He lets out a soft, contented bark. "You still want to talk?" Cailan asks, pulling his shirt over his head. "Yeah, but, like, later. I need to wake up first," I answer, sitting up. I throw the sheets off of me, remembering at the last second that I'd stripped down to my underclothes before climbing into bed. It's not anything Cailan hasn't seen before, so I resist the urge to cover myself with a sheet. "It's late, you should go ahead and get dressed," he says gently. "I don't wanna," I complain, but I slide off of the bed anyway. The other dress had arrived sometime during the previous evening. This time, I take the time to properly hang the red one up. "What time is it, anyway?" I ask, my stomach growling uncomfortably. "It's nearly time for lunch. We slept late," he answers. "Shit, son, we did," I answer, splashing some cold water on my face from the basin in the corner. Cailan snorts as I turn and pat my face dry.

I wander over to the vanity and sit, brushing my hair. "You know, most people put on their clothes before brushing their hair," Cailan remarks. "You should realise by now that I am not most people," I retort, yanking on the brush. "Well, when you get done, I'd like to use the brush," he says, sliding into the seat next to me. I nod, and then focus on getting all the tangles out of my hair. This brush isn't as durable as the brush I had at home, and so it takes an extra ten minutes to brush it. "You know, I might get Leliana to cut my hair for me. This is getting ridiculous," I say, handing the brush over to Cailan. "You look good like you are," Cailan remarks. I duck my head and scuff my toes on the carpet. "Maybe I won't, then," I mumble, reaching for the dress and stepping into it. I don't hear Cailan, so his hands on the small of my back make me jump. "Sorry about that," he says, quirking one corner of his mouth up. I let out an unintelligible grunt. "I'll lace this for you," he says, his fingers making featherlight touches along my back as he laces it up.

"You know, you're suspiciously good at this," I remark, pulling my hair over my shoulder and out of the way. "What can I say? I'm a man with many...enjoyable talents," he answers, a teasing lilt to his tone. I bite back a completely inappropriate remark as he ties off the dress. "In the time it's taken you to get ready, Arya, I do believe it's time for lunch," Cailan said. As my stomach rumbles yet again, I sigh wistfully. I would give anything for pizza. "You know, today's going to be busy. There'll be a meeting with Eamon, another with Isolde, and maybe even one with Jowan," I say, taking a moment to adjust the dress. I was so not used to wearing one of these things. I missed my pants and my shorts. I wonder if I could get a few pairs made. There's a lot of things I want. I shake my head, as if that would work to clear it. It doesn't, for the record.

Over lunch, which is a meal I'm not too keen on eating, but I'm hungry, so I eat it anyway, Leliana keeps shooting me glances. I return them with grumpy glares. I woke up late and I'm still tired, my head hurts, I'm hungry, and they've served food I hate, and that's all grounds for an Arya Meltdown later today. I picked at some rolls and drank, like, twenty-six cups of water, and afterwards, Eldris whisked us all away to Eamon's study. "We're coming clean with him now," he explains. "Is Isolde going to be present for this meeting of ours as well?" I ask. "Yes," Eldris answers, and then we fall into silence until Eamon walks into the dusty study.

Isolde trails behind him, and, surprisingly, so does Jowan and Conner. Eamon takes his sweet time settling himself behind his desk, Isolde and the others standing dutifully behind him. "There's no need for this to be so formal," Eldris says, a fierce gleam in his eyes despite the sugary sweet of his tone. He didn't seem like the type of man to have much patience for politics. "Very well. Isolde, Jowan, please, be seated. Conner, you as well," Eamon says, folding his hands in front of him on the desk. "Where should we begin?" Eldris murmurs to himself, glancing between myself and Cailan. "We can start with me. It'll make it easier to explain," I say, doing my best to sit up straight without shaking. Eldris surprises me, taking my hand in his protectively.

"This is Arya," Alistair says, stepping forward from his place in the corner of the room. Eamon's eyes glint. "And why is she important to me?" he asks carefully. I look to Alistair. Do I stand? Do I sit? Do I explain myself? He gives me a sharp, quick nod, and Eldris squeezes my hand before letting go. I turn back to Eamon, doing my best to look at him steadily. Suddenly, I'm glad for that stupid public speaking class I'd had to take. I'd had so many panic attacks, but at least I'd learned to never show your nervousness, and always speak like you're absolutely sure of what you're about to say. "I'm a seer, and I've come a long way to warn the people of Ferelden," I say, clasping my hands together on my lap. I hope I've remembered to sit up straight. "Seers are things of legends, and nothing more," Eamon says, his words measured. This was a test. I tilt my head upwards to look at him. "How nice it is to have legends about me, when I've done nothing," I say. A slight smile tugs at Eamon's lips for a fraction of a second, and I suppose I've passed. "If you are so sure you're a seer, prove it," he says. I almost lock up in terror. I know nothing about Arl Eamon, aside from what I know because of Alistair in the game. Then, I get an idea. Hopefully, it doesn't show on my face.

"If you would join me privately outside the room, I could give you information about a certain almost-templar in the room to prove that I'm a seer. I will not, however, give secrets out freely to everyone. They are not mine to give," I say, my voice soft. Hopefully they wouldn't think it was because I was scared shitless, and because I was equally trying to test them or something. Shit, I should have made Cailan prepare me for this. "Very well. Join me outside in the hallway, if you please, Lady Arya," he says, standing slowly and exiting the room in a very regal manner. I try to follow him in a similarly regal fashion. I don't think it worked, because Cailan had to hold back a snort as I passed. I thump him on the back of the head.

The door shut behind me with a sense of finality. Either I could prove to Arl Eamon that I was a seer, or I couldn't. "Well, girl, out with it," he says. I put my arms behind my back, clasping my hands together, and standing up as straight as I can. "You raised Alistair for a good while. You made sure he didn't know who his real mother was," I say. Eamon's eyes narrow. "What of it?" he asks, his tone guarded. "I know who his mother is, and that's why I insisted we come out here." Eamon lets out a heavy sigh, seeming to deflate a little. "And who is his mother? There's still the matter on whether you're correct or not," he points out. I resist the urge to cross my arms and hunker down in on myself. "An elven woman by the name of Fiona. I think she's the Grand Enchanter of the Circle of Magi, by now. Previously, however, she was a Grey Warden. Am I correct?" I ask. Eamon's eyes narrow. "You are. Very well, I believe you. Why decide you decide to come and warn us, though?" Eamon asks. "I like to think it was fate," I answer, and Eamon smiles to himself. "I would like to meet with you privately later, to learn more, but it's best we don't keep the others waiting," he says, leading the way back into the room. I return to my seat.

"I believe the girl, but I would guess that there's more for you to tell me," Eamon says, once he's properly seated. "I think it might be easier to show you," Cailan says, pulling the hood down. Eamon's eyes curve upwards in a smile. "I was wondering who our hooded guest was," he remarks. "It's me, Uncle," he says, and thus began a meeting that lasted over an hour about why Cailan had to hide his identity and why we needed Loghain to send an assassin after us. Thankfully, Cailan did most of the talking, and we took a break for a brief lunch. I insisted on meeting with Jowan afterwards, and that's how everything led to me standing alone in a room with the mage.

"Has Arl Howe contacted you yet?" I ask. There's a flash of _something_ in Jowan's eyes, enough to make me think he has. "I...don't know what you mean," Jowan says, trying to regain his composure. "Look, Jowan, I've got something important to tell you, and I need you to stop dicking around and at least pretend to trust me enough to confirm or deny. Anything you say will not leave this room. I'll take it to my grave," I say, and there's a moment of hesitation before Jowan seems to crumple and deflate. "He has. And I...I've not acted, yet," he says. I step forward, grabbing his arms, and force him to look at me. "Don't. I'll do everything I can to protect you from Howe, but don't poison Eamon," I say. Jowan frowns, pulling away from me. "Why do you care?" he asks defensively. "Because I'm on your side, Jowan," I say, frustrated. "Why?" he demands, and I throw my hands into the air, turning around and stalking a few paces away. "Because I know what the Chantry did to you, and I know how other mages are treated, and I hate it. I also know how this path ends, and I'd rather publicly go against the Chantry and risk all that backlash than have to watch it end like that," I answer. "Why bother caring? It's not like you're a mage," Jowan says, and I laugh bitterly.

"I am a mage, actually," I say, turning back to face Jowan, summoning some fire and holding it for a few moments before letting the spell dissipate. "I didn't find out before I came to Ferelden. But I would die before going to the Circle, and I would kill to keep others out of it. But you're already in danger, Jowan, don't let Arl Howe mess up your chances even more," I say, before sweeping out of the room. Cailan is waiting on the opposite wall, his arms crossed. His face seems to brighten when he sees me. "How did it go?" he asks. "Fuck if I know," I answer, sighing. If my hair wasn't full of pins, I'd drag my fingers through it, but I didn't have much of a desire to rip them out. Cailan laughs, wrapping his arm around my waist. "Now, I believe I have an appointment with you," he says. "What about Eamon?" I ask. "He's meeting with the others about strategy. When you excused yourself I asked if I could also be excused for a bit. They're just going over what we've already done," he explains. I wonder what they thought about that.

He pulls me into a room that's not being used. It looks like another study, one no longer in use and full of mismatched discarded furniture. I lean against the wall, crossing my arm. "Look, Cailan, it's just…where I'm from, if someone is married, you leave them alone. And I'm not clear whether or not I should be apologising. Culture shock, I guess?" I say, picking at my fingernails. My stomach was tying itself into knots of anxiety. I'd always managed to avoid problems like this, and suddenly I felt like a kid playing dress up. I didn't belong here, and it was painfully obvious. "Well, I thought maybe I should tell you about how my relationship with Anora is," he says. I swallow heavily, feeling the anxiety ball up inside me. "I, uh, sure," I mumble, crossing my arms around my stomach and letting my gaze drift.

"Maric and Loghain arranged our marriage. Anora was a good friend growing up. She knows me really well, but…our marriage is a constant power struggle. We're always at each other's throats and it's not good for us, or for Ferelden. Even Loghain agrees with me on this. I spent long hours talking about a solution to this with him. Eamon has been pushing for me to find a mistress. Anora isn't bearing any children, although not for lack of trying. And, Maker, that's one of the things I dread the most about this marriage," he says, his gaze drifting as well. From the tone of his voice, I don't think this is a topic he can easily talk about. "I want Anora to be happy. I want to be happy, too. I know that most marriages are political, but I at least don't want to be miserable," he says. I step forward, laying a hand on his arm, and I wonder how ridiculous I look. Probably very. I've never been a person to wear dresses, much less dresses that show that much cleavage or anywhere near the amount of makeup I'm wearing. It feels...wrong. I feel wrong.

"If you're both this miserable, do something about it. How can a king rule when he's competing with the queen?" I point out. "I am. Doing something about it, that is. I've talking with Anora, as well. I'm going to make her a teryna. It's not the same as being Queen, but it's something she can do, and maybe we can both be happier that way," he says, dragging a hand through his hair. "I'm sure you can be," I say, cursing myself inwardly. I never know what to say in situations like this. Cailan lets out a heavy breath and then flashes me a dazzling smile. "So, where does that leave us?" he asks. Ah, great, another instance where I have no godly clue on how to react. Thanks, Universe. "I...uh...somewhere?" I say, rubbing the back of my neck. "Are you uncomfortable right now, Arya?" he asks gently. "A little bit. I mean, it's just...I don't know how to react," I admit, biting the inside of my lip.

Cailan hesitates, then lays a hand on my shoulder. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable. If this isn't something you want, don't be afraid to tell me," he says. I shift uneasily. "I'm not sure what I want, Cailan. I mean, I didn't think that this was an option before, so I didn't think about it. And...I don't feel like I belong here. I feel like a kid playing dress up," I say. "Well, if it makes you feel better, I can get you out of the dress with no inconvenience on my part," he deadpans. I let out a dry chuckle, surprising myself. "Give me some time to think about it," I say. "As you wish," he says with a smirk.


	15. Chapter 15

"So, all-magical-powerful-seer, where should we go next?" Eldris asks. I roll my eyes, and I'd elbow him in the chest if he wasn't wearing a thick layer of armor. "I suggest the Circle of Magi. There might be demons there, though. Lots of demons," I say, reaching up and rubbing the back of my neck. We were in a makeshift war room, with a detailed map of Ferelden spread over a table, and I had no clue what I was doing. So it wasn't too different from a normal day for me, really. "If it's overrun by demons, then that should be a priority," Alistair says. "There's also a mage there. I would like to conscript him. His name is Anders," I say. "I've heard about Anders!" Alistair remarks. "You have?" I ask, turning to face him. "Yeah. His frequent escapes have made him famous among the templars. There are horror stories passed down about that man," Alistair tells me. "We're leaving with him. I won't budge on that issue," I say. Alistair narrows his eyes at me. "Are you sure he won't run from us?" he asks. I shrug. "And if he does? That man deserves his freedom," I retort. Alistair opens his mouth to argue, but it snaps shut again. He must have realized he wouldn't win this argument.

"Anything else to add, Arya?" Cailan asks. "Zevran might ambush us somewhere along the way. I might be able to recognize the ambush so that will definitely help," I say, crossing my arms. "Anyone have anything else to add?" Eldris asks, glancing around the room. Morrigan stands in the background. glaring at us all imperiously. Leliana is standing close to Alistair, peering over his shoulder. She doesn't seem to have anything to add. "So, are you all going to the Circle of Magi next?" Arl Eamon asks. "It would seem so," Alistair says, giving Eamon a grin. "I'll have the kitchen staff prepare provisions to take with you. When will you leave?" he inquires. "Tomorrow. I refuse to leave before," I answer, before the others can. Eldris is the only one who laughs, clapping me on the shoulder. I manage to catch myself on the table, and then I flash him a grin. From the returning smirk, I think he meant to knock me off balance. "Then we should leave at dawn," Leliana suggests. There's agreement from nearly everyone in the room, some major internal grumbling from me, and then we all disperse.

I spent two hours talking to Ella last night. She encouraged me to go for Cailan, because if I was going to be stuck here, I might as well take advantage of it. "Just do it, Arya. If you don't like it, you can bail at anytime," she'd said. And now, as I headed back to my room, Cailan followed me. I also noticed Leliana following Alistair. I caught her gaze and narrowed my eyes at her, letting her know we would definitely talk later. She nodded, a smirk curling across her lips, and then the moment was over. Cailan shuts the door behind us, and then we're alone suddenly.

"So, I'm not trying to rush you or anything, but have you given any thought to, well, us?" he asks, and it takes me a moment to realize he's nervous. My heart twists in my chest in a funny way, and I'm not entirely sure how to feel. Should I be nervous? Excited? I don't know, but there's a weird mixture of feelings. Part of me wonders if we could have a relationship like in the movies, and I almost snort. Relationships like that never happen, but Ella had talked me into it. I couldn't bail out before giving it a chance. And there was definitely some attraction there, if I allowed myself to feel it. I bite my lip, looking at Cailan's hopeful face. I really don't want to disappoint him. Hell, I didn't want to disappoint myself. I had a lot of issues going on in my head right now that I wanted to work through.

"I'm...interested in a trial run. I'm not sure how I'll do with a relationship, but I'm ready to try," I say, taking a deep breath. A slow grin spreads across Cailan's face, and then he's kissing me, one hand gripping my hip, the other on the back of my neck. It takes my brain a moment to process the fact that he's actually kissing me, and he starts to pull away before I bring my hands up, yanking him back down. He chuckles against my lips, and if I weren't so preoccupied, I'd smack him. It's a few moments before he steps back, and I realize I just had my first kiss. I should have had the foresight to cast some sort of spell so I could well and truly say it was magical. I let out a laugh, and then Cailan's laughing too, and any lingering awkwardness dissipates.

"So, where exactly does this leave us?" I ask, kicking off my shoes and sprawling backwards onto the bed. "Wherever you'd like it too," he answers, and this time I do smack him. "You know I wanted an actual answer, you ass," I say, although from the smirk he gives me I know he's not upset. "Well, I meant what I said. I don't want to take any liberties. I'm surprised you're adjusting so well to Thedas. If I were in your situation...Maker, I don't know if I'd be able to cope," he says. "I'm not, really. I'm ignoring any issues that I have. I tend to do that with, well, everything," I point out. "You're going to have to work through it eventually," he reminds me, laying down on the bed next to me. I curl up against his side. "I know. And that...scares me," I admit, my voice small. His hand starts tracing soothing circles against my back, and I relax a little. "I'll be here to help you, Arya," he promises, brushing a kiss to my forehead. "I...don't know if you should. I mean, I can get pretty bad when I'm trying to work through my emotions because I'm not really sure how," I say, sitting up slightly to look at him. "You shouldn't have to do this alone," Cailan argues. I let out a whine, running my fingers through my hair. He reaches up, taking my fingers in his and pressing a sweet kiss against my lips.

"We can put it off for as long as you like, Arya. It's not healthy, but if it's what makes you comfortable, that's what we'll do. But I'll be here to help you whenever you're ready, even if we don't work out," he promises. "I don't know how to respond to that, but I appreciate far more than you'll ever know, Cailan," I tell him. He smiles, kissing me again before nudging me into a sitting position. "We should get to bed. I recall how hard you are to wake up," he teases. "I want a bath first," I say, sliding to the edge of the bed and stretching before standing. Goddess only knew when I'd get another one after we left Redcliffe. "Care if I join you?" he asks, moving to stand behind me, his hands on my hips. His breath caused a shiver to race down my spine, and I was torn once again. "I...please do," I say, and I'm sure my face is on fire by now. He chuckles, gathering up our clothes, and leads the way into the bathing chambers.

The bath is, well, completely innocent. I don't know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn't expecting to sit in the water until it's cold and occasionally splash water at him when I thought I could get away with it. I was actually able to properly relax for the first time in...ages. The hard knot of anxiety in my stomach loosened, and I felt a lot better. We finally get to bed way later than we should, sprawling out together on the bed, and I fall asleep almost instantly.

 _Heavy air and impenetrable darkness surrounds me. I come into awareness slowly, and my breathing accelerates gradually until it comes in short, erratic gasps. I reach up, my hand hitting cold wood a few inches away from my face. My other hand reaches into my pocket, groping for the lighter I knew was hidden there. I flick it on, holding it away from my clothes, and the light illuminates the coffin I'm trapped in. I drop the lighter and the only light source I have flickers out. I beat against the lid, but it doesn't budge._

I wake up with a start, sitting up almost instantly. I'm confused for a moment, but then I feel Cailan move against my side, and I orient myself. I slide out from under the blankets, careful not to wake Cailan, and dress in the dark, my hands shaking as I try to fasten all the buckles and clasps on my armor silently. It hit me suddenly that I was just a dead girl walking, and I felt sick. I abandon the clasps and start to pace, running my fingers through my hair and yanking out the tangles. I don't hear Cailan get up, don't notice until his hands are gripping my forearms, forcing me to stop and look at him. "Arya, what's wrong?" he asks. I shake my head and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. His arms close around me instantly, and the sick feeling starts to fade. "I dreamt that I was trapped in my coffin," I whisper, resting my forehead against his shoulder. "You're here, and you're very much alive. Talk to Ella, though, and see if she can do something, maybe get them to move your body from its coffin," he suggests. I pull him even closer, clinging desperately to him. The leather of my armor squeaks, and my heart beats out a staccato rhythm in my chest. "I don't know what I'd do without you," I mumble.

 _ **A/N: My overwhelming laziness has been kicking my ass lately, but I'm trying. I'm also going to be trying to get more regular updates again. The semester is almost over, and I will have no real excuse over Christmas, other than a debilitating desire to do nothing. I am going to try to kick that desire in the quad and get the stuff done. I love writing these characters. In the next chapter, I have plans to introduce Zevran, and maybe even take our rag-tag group to the Circle Tower. If any of you have any suggestions, though, I'd love to hear them, even if they're for the story as a whole. I might not use what's suggested, but I freaking love getting suggestions and playing around with them, so hit me with your best shot, guys. And if there's something you'd really like to see, I'll do my best to get it in there if I can find a way to make it fit.**_

 _ **Writer of This Story- I also love you in a non-weird way. Your reviews are seriously what makes me get my ass in gear and actually write. So, uh, thanks for that.**_


	16. Chapter 16

I didn't get anymore sleep that night, although I made Cailan go back to bed. After he was asleep and not worrying about me, I collected my MacBook and made my way downstairs to the kitchen, where I make a mug of tea. Ella is awake, so I spend an hour or so Skyping her before she falls asleep mid-call. I hang up and spend the next hour watching YouTube videos. A wave of homesickness washes over me, so I put on some music quietly and stand broodingly by the window. That's how the people in movies always do it, but at least I had an unobstructed view of space. It made me think about the vastness of the universe, about how we came to be, about where we would end up, about how I came to Thedas, and other mind-breaking things. Sten shook me out of my thoughts when he came down the stairs, momentarily surprised to see me standing there with strange music playing. I hurried back to the counter, pausing the music. I rub the back of my neck awkwardly, thinking of what to say, but Sten speaks first.

"I understand you're a seer," Sten says. I shrug. "Sort of," I answer cautiously. "Do you know of me?" he asks, pulling up a stool and sitting down. He's still taller than me, which isn't fair, but I suppose the Qunari are rather large, and I'm rather short. "I know quite a bit, yes. I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, but I swear I won't tell the others," I assure him. Sten shakes his head, once. "That is not what I'm worried about. Do you know of Asala?" he asks. It takes me a moment, but then I realize he's talking about his sword. I had completely forgotten about it, I felt instantly guilty. Asala was Sten's soul, or something equally as important that he was incomplete without, and I had completely forgotten it. "Yes. Asala is your sword, and you are unable to return to your homeland without it. If you did, you would be killed immediately and branded a traitor," I answer, after a moment of intense guilt. Sten's eyes widened almost imperceptibly in surprise. "I did not think one like you would know of the Qun," he murmurs softly. I move to stand by his side and hesitantly lay my hand on his shoulder. His muscles tense at my touch, but he doesn't pull away, and he doesn't crush my skull in his palm, so I assume it's good.

"I don't know much, but I am honored to know what I do. And I might know where your sword is. I make no promises that it is where it was in my vision, as everything I saw in Redcliffe is completely different," I begin. Sten's hand is suddenly gripping my wrist like a vice, and I try not to wince. He doesn't relax his hold. "Where is it?" he demands. "I think it's here in Redcliffe, in a dwarf's house. Let me look it up," I say, reaching with my free arm to pull the computer closer to me. Sten releases me reluctantly, and I slide the MacBook across the counter before pulling up Asala's page on the wikia. I show Sten it's location and he nods once more again. "Could you persuade our Wardens to make a stop?" he asks, his voice thicker than normal. I rest my hand on his shoulder once more. "Of course, Sten. And if they refuse, I'll go to Cailan," I promise. "You have my thanks," Sten says, and I gather my MacBook in my arms and scurry upstairs.

Cailan rolls over, groaning, as I open the door. I enter as silently as I can, glancing out the window. It won't be long until it's time to wake everyone up properly. I remember Lothering, and how Cailan had to wake me up, and I smirk to myself. Payback is such a bitch, and delivering it is one of my favorite pastimes. Silently, I put the MacBook down on the table next to me, back up to the door, and take a running jump. I land on the bed, bouncing, and Cailan lets out a muffled yell. "Arya!" he complains, and I collapse beside him, giggling. He rolls over, propping himself up on his elbow to glare at me. I grin at him and lean over, kissing the tip of his nose. He grabs me suddenly, flipping us so that he straddles me, pinning me to the bed with my arms held above my head. And then he starts to tickle me.

I try to hold out. I screw my eyes up and thrash against him, trying to throw him off, to no avail, and after a few seconds of wild squirming, I let out a shriek, followed by a series of other shrieks at varying octaves. Ten seconds later, the door bursts open, and a half-dressed Eldris lets out a primal growl, stalking over to the bed. Cailan, to his credit, does stop tickling me, but he doesn't relax his hold. I'm not in a position I can kick him, either, although with the deep scowl on Eldris' face I'm not sure I'll have to. I hadn't seen him look this angry since he thought I was insulting his intelligence at Ostagar. "Are you two going to stop, now that you've woken the entire castle?" he snaps. I buck weakly, trying to knock Cailan off of me. It doesn't happen. "This was nonconsensual tickling, Eldris. I would think you would come to my rescue," I say sarcastically. He turns his glare to me. "You woke me up, you ass," he growls. "Cailan, let me up so I can punch him. He deserves a punch," I say, wiggling my hips in another attempt to get Cailan to move. The big lug still doesn't move, and I give up with a heavy sigh, sinking into the mattress. "Next time, _lethallan,_ you better be having sex," he says, giving me a wink to let me know he wasn't too terribly upset with us for waking up before disappearing back out of the room. The tips of my ears burn, and I know I must have turned red.

Cailan slides off of my, lying down beside me with a shit-eating grin on his face. "I should kill you for that," I mumble. He laughs, throwing one arm around me and pulling me closer. "You know, he gave me an idea with the whole sex thing," he says casually. "Ehhhhh," I say. I hadn't given much thought to the matter, considering how new everything was, but it definitely wasn't a prospect I was comfortable with yet. He nods, kissing the top of my head. "You should probably start putting on your armor. Maybe by noon, you'll be ready to go," he teases. I let out a grunt and roll out of the bed, stretching. I was going to miss this bed. I was going to miss this bed a lot. I unpack my armor from the dresser and spread it out on one side of the bed, yanking off my pajamas. This leaves me in just my bra and panties, and I was completely unprepared for the cold, and the whistle from Cailan. I toss my shirt at him, which of course he catches, and rolls my eyes.

"Oh, by the way, we need to make a stop before we leave the city," I say, tugging on my underclothes. I had learned the hard way that leather would chafe if I didn't have something underneath it. "Oh? Why's that?" he asks. "Well, I forgot about Sten's sword. We need to stop and get it for him. It's here in the city, a dwarf by the name of Dwyn should have it, unless something's different from the game," I say, glancing over at Cailan. He's sprawled out on his back, propped up on his elbows. His hair's all messed up, and for a moment I have an almost irresistible urge to climb on his lap and kiss him. I'm torn between the sudden desire to do so and the need to shake it off. Apparently, Cailan can read minds, because I don't have to do anything. He sits up suddenly, swinging his legs off the side of the bed, and crosses the room in a few steps. He pushes my hair back out of my face and tilts my chin upwards before pressing his lips against mine, his hand cupping my cheek. I'm not sure what to do with my hands, so they end up on his waist, tangled in his shirt. It only lasts for a few seconds, but it feels a lot longer when he pulls back, an infuriating smirk on his face. "We should both get ready," he says, and I bite my lip and glare at him. I want to kiss him again, but I also want to hit him. He knows damn well what sort of effect he has on me, and he milks it for all it's worth.

We finish dressing relatively quickly, though, and I do manage to don my armor by myself, swatting away his hands when he gets impatient and wants to help. "I can do it," I insist, and I can. After we're dressed, we gather up our things as quickly as we can. "We should have done this last night," Cailan grumbled. "Yeah, but you talked me into taking a bath with you," I retort, and he grins, coming up to me and slipping his arm around my waist. "It was totally worth it," he says, leaning down to kiss me again. I lean against him for a moment before gently pushing him away. "We should go downstairs. I'm sure everyone else is already there, and we need to talk to Eldris and Alistair about Sten's sword," I say, zipping my backpack and hefting it onto my back. Cailan nods, shouldering his own pack. He links his fingers in mine, bringing a smile to my face, and leads the way downstairs.

Almost everyone was downstairs already. Morrigan and Leliana were the only ones who weren't, although a few minutes after we joined the others and were handed a bowl of mush, Morrigan came down the stairs, her staff secured loosely on her back. Sten was staring at me, so I figured there was no better time to bring it up. "Eldris, Alistair, there's something I neglected to mention because I, well, forgot. Sten's sword, Asala, is here in Redcliffe, unless something's changed," I say. "And you want us to go get it?" Alistair asks, glancing between the two of us. "I would be in your debt if you did," Sten said tersely, and part of me wants to jump to his defense. I know that if I do, however, the act would probably be my last. "Where is it?" Eldris asks. I relay to him the approximate location of Dwyn's house. Eldris and Alistair glance at each other until Alistair nods. "We'll get your sword back, Sten," Eldris says, turning to glance at the giant. Sten dips his head, and when Leliana comes down the stairs, we finish eating in silence.

I am completely uninvolved in the retrieval of Sten's sword,although while we wait we purchase a mage's staff for me. It looks wonderfully like a walking stick. Morrigan helped me pick it out, and Eldris, Alistair, Sten, and Leliana go into Dwyn's house when we find it, and they come out twenty minutes later after some muffled shouting, the sword strapped to Sten's back. He catches my eye, and then his hand lands heavily on my shoulder. I almost stumble, but I manage to catch myself, and I see a glimmer of approval in his eyes. After that, we leave the city, and by the time we stop walking for lunch, my entire body aches again. My feet, my back, my shoulders, my neck. I dump my pack on the ground and stretch when a woman runs up to us, her dressed ripped and her hair wild. "Oh, thank the Maker! We need help, please, they attacked the wagon," she says, her eyes soft and wide and pleading. Eldris catches my eye and I nod, stepping forward. It would make most sense for me to lead us into the ambush, considering I knew about it.

"Oh, you poor thing! Lead the way, and we'll do our best to help you. Morrigan, could you be a dear and stay here with our things?" I ask, stepping towards the woman. "I suppose," Morrigan conceded. We'd gone over a plan ages ago in preparation for the ambush, and we moved like a well-oiled machine, following the disheveled woman down the path. When we round the bend, I raise my hand, and everyone slows to a stop. The tree that falls in-game is up ahead, on the side of the road, and I can see Eldris' experienced eyes scanning over it. He shifts uneasily, and the assassins must be well hidden.

The woman stops and turns to face us, confused. "Wouldn't it be just terrible if this was an ambush?" I say loudly, my fingers twitching towards my staff. I see someone beyond the woman rise and move closer. "Would you happen to be Zevran, member of the Crows, good sir?" I call out cheerfully, gripping my staff. Already, it's like a security blanket. The figure walks closer, and when he gets to the woman's side, I can tell that he is indeed Zev. "You seem to have me at a disadvantage, friend," he calls out, equally cheerfully. "My name is Arya Peterson. I have with me Leliana, a Chantry sister, Alistair, an almost-Templar, and Eldris, a dalish warrior," I say. "What about your other companion, eh?" Zevran asks, stepping even closer. Everything about him screams predator, and I can see the twinkle in his eye from here. "This? Oh, he's just Cailan Theirin, king of Ferelden," I answer. Cailan picks that moment to slide his arm around my waist and press a kiss to the top of my head. "We're here to talk with you, flat-ear," Eldris says. Zevran comes even closer, and almost everyone reaches to grab their weapons.

"Let me handle this," I hiss, and I take a few steps forward. "I know you set up an ambush here, Zevran. But I have a much more attractive option," I say, turning my attention back to the elf. Cailan moves to stand beside me, but Alistair's hand on his shoulder stops him. "I don't suppose you would mind answering my questions first?" Zevran asks, a charming smile on his face. "I'll do my best. But first, some background information. King Cailan was never kidnapped. I knew how the battle of Ostagar would end, and I had to get him out of there, for the sake of Ferelden. It was only later that I remembered your involvement. I'm a seer, and, well, without Cailan's death or something of that sort, you would disappear. I didn't want to do that," I say, my voice softening towards the end. I had no fucking clue what I was doing, but I didn't want to impact the world too much. "That...answers many of my questions," he admits. "Join us, Zevran. I know you wanted to get away from the Crows. I know this job was...to be your last," I offer. Zevran turns. "They would still be a problem," he murmurs, as his assassins step into the shadows. "We're talented," I answer, a lopsided grin on my face.

He looks hesitant, and it's then that one of his assassins come running out, a young elven woman. "Zevran! You can't do this!" she says, aiming an arrow at his heart. Zevran glances at me, and I can see the decision in his eyes. "Oh, but he can," I say, and then sling a shard of ice at the woman. It pierces her chest, blood bubbling up around it and staining the clear ice vividly before she falls to her knees, grasping at it. A moment later, she collapses, crumpled on the ground. A fight begins in earnest, then, with Cailan pulling me back. Morrigan had taught me how to make a barrier around myself, so I pull my mana around me in a hopefully impenetrable barrier. This exhausts most of my magic supply, but I have enough left for any emergency situations. Cailan presses a dagger into the palm of my hand, and then he joins the fray after giving me strict instructions to stay out of it unless necessary. Even through the strain of keeping the barrier active, I felt my mana start to trickle back, giving me access to more if I needed it. I watched the fight, keeping an eye on the edges. Once, an assassin tried to sneak up behind Eldris, who was locked in battle with two other assassins. I noticed the assassin before Eldris did, and sent a fireball flying at his face. Thankfully, I hit him, and while he died in agonizing pain, he didn't reach Eldris, who noticed the man on fire behind him and took a moment to take a breath and shoot me a grin.

All at once, it was over. All of Zevran's assassins lay dead, even the woman who had tried to lead us into the ambush. Zevran, and, well, everyone else, too, really, was covered in blood, and after a few moments of deafening silence when we all warily lowered our weapons, I let the barrier fade away gently. Zevran walked over towards me, first, clutching at a wound on his side. "I suppose I have no choice but to go with you," he says, and I can sense a heavy underlying sadness. I reach out and put my hand on his shoulder. "I am sorry. I never meant to force your hand," I murmur. Cailan rushes over, then, and Zevran steps back, allowing Leliana to support him. "Come," she orders. He flashes her a smile. "I wish, my dear," he says, and I choke on my laughter as Cailan checks me over. When he's satisfied I'm unharmed, he drags me back to camp, straggling after the others.

When we return, Morrigan has already set up all the tents and started two fires. I don't know why she wishes to sleep apart from us, but I'm not going to deny her her privacy. There's only a shallow creek, nearby, so I take our largest pot and fill it with water. I haul it back to camp, and Leliana and Morrigan set about healing the wounds on Eldris, Alistair, and Zevran.

They were all shallow wounds, thankfully, but they were wounds nonetheless, and had the girls not worked at cleaning them, they ran the risk of infection. The tent I shared with Cailan was rather spacious, and after sitting him down inside, I ran back and filled up another pot of water. When I returned, I peeled Cailan out of his armor. He had minor cuts and scrapes, I spent an hour meticulously cleaning all of them. We were quiet throughout this, and afterwards when he dressed in casual clothes and left to go dump the water, I pulled the heavy armor onto my lap and started cleaning it the way I'd seen him do it. When he comes back, a slow smile spreads across his face and he ducks into the tent. "We can leave that until later," he whispers, pushing it slowly off my lap and pulling me in for a kiss. I fist my hands in the loose material of his shirt as he pushes me backwards onto a large pile of furs. One of his hands lands firmly on my waist, the other cups my face gently. "If you want to back out at any time, just tell me no," Cailan murmurs in between kisses. "I won't let you make me uncomfortable beyond my limits. I...I need to be a little uncomfortable, sometimes. But I know my limits," I promise. He trails kisses down my jawline to my throat. "And one of those limits is sex? I'm trying to get an idea of where we stand," he asks, sucking at the skin on my throat. My breath catches and I almost let out a moan. I stop myself, though, and suddenly become hyper-aware of those outside.

"I'm just not ready yet. I need time to, ah, come to terms with the idea of it. I'm...well, I've never had sex at all before," I say, gasping as he sucks a bruise into the hollow of my throat. "But you like this?" he says. I swat him over the head, gently, and he laughs, pulling back. "Let me know when you're ready," he murmurs. I bite my lip, wiggling backwards so I can sit up. "I'm...afraid it'll hurt," I admit. I'd never had anything more than my finger in me, and I was more than a little wary. "I wouldn't do anything to hurt you," he murmurs, resting his forehead against mine. "I know. But, well, there's going to be some discomfort no matter what we do, so I just need to prepare myself for that," I assure him. He kisses me again, once, lightly. "Okay," he says. I smile, and go to kiss him again, when Eldris sticks his head in. "Leliana's fixed a stew. If you want any, I suggest you hurry. Grey Warden appetites, and all," he says. I stick my tongue out at him, a gesture which he returns before disappearing again. Cailan clambers off of me, turning around and pulling me to my feet.

* * *

 ** _A/N: Thank you all for reading! I hope you're enjoying this! I already have plans for the sequel, too, and I wouldn't turn down help on ironing out a few details (hint hint.) I especially need to work out a way and reason for Arya's arrival in Thedas, among other things. Or, if you just want to talk about possible ideas, I'm always a slut for that._**

 ** _SleepiPanda: If it weren't for you, I would have completely forgotten about Sten's sword, so thank you. I'm glad you like this story!_**


	17. Chapter 17

It took several days to walk to the Circle Tower, but time seemed to blur, so I wasn't sure how long exactly it took. Zevran was settling in nicely to the group, and we even ran into Bodhan about three days after leaving Redcliffe. I had quite a bit of money left in my coin purse, enough to buy some mage robes. I felt strange, wearing them, but it was instantly easier for me to draw on my mana, and it felt like I had access to more while I wore them. Despite the fact that the fabric was heavy, and there was so damn much of it, I was much more comfortable than I ever was in my leather armor, although Cailan refused to let me sell that. "You'll need it one day, mark my words. You know how unkindly mages are treated here, and there's one day you might not want to so eagerly proclaim that you are one," he'd said, and I'd had to agree with him. The armor sat at the bottom of Cailan's pack.

When we got to the docks to catch the boat to the Circle Tower, there was indeed a Templar guarding them, as well as one set to sail the boats. Eldris and Alistair had agreed beforehand that Eldris would take the lead here, considering he had no ties to the Chantry. He led the group down the length of the docks, Alistair trailing behind him and me behind Alistair. Cailan hovered protectively behind me, and Zevran walked behind me. Leliana and Morrigan were somewhere behind us, although I wasn't entirely sure where, with Sten bringing up the rear of the procession. "You're not looking to cross, are you? I've got strict orders not to let anyone across," the first Templar says. "I'm a Grey Warden, and I, along with my companions, have the right to cross the lake to the Circle Tower. This is a Blight, and we're here to request aid," Eldris said, pulling the documents smoothly from his pockets. I'd shown him the segment in-game where the Templar was, well, a dick, but thankfully that didn't happen.

"You will be unable to take everyone across in one trip. I ask that you pick your first team wisely, as Knight-Commander Gregoir might not wish for us to return for the others. And as much as I would like to help your order with the Blight on, I cannot disobey direct orders twice in a row," he warned. Eldris nodded, once. "Give me a moment to confer with my companions in private," he requested, and when the Templar nodded his agreement, Eldris led us back up the bank until we were out of earshot.

"I want to go," I said. I wasn't entirely sure why, either. I knew I was a fledgling mage who barely knew how to use her powers, but I felt an intense need to go and try to help these people. It would definitely be better than waiting and tearing my hair out, worried sick about everyone. "Lethallan, I think perhaps it would be best if you waited here," Eldris said, gently, reaching out and placing his hand on my arm. "Just let me go with you. If everything plays out like I saw, then when we meet Wynne, I'll stay behind with the apprentices. They're children, and they'll be surrounded by demons and absolutely terrified. I'd be able to help them. I just...please don't make me stay here and wait," I say, my voice soft and pleading. I gave Eldris my best puppy-dog face, the one that always worked on my parents whenever I asked them for anything. Not that they often told me no, but when they did, I always pulled out that face, and they usually changed their answer.

"Fine. Arya comes along," Eldris says, shaking his head. I brighten, but I feel Cailan stiffen beside me. "If she goes, then I go," he says. "If you go, they'll need you to go along with them, instead of staying behind with me," I say. Cailan shakes his head, reaching out and lacing his fingers through mine. "That just means I can make sure nothing gets back to you," he said. Morrigan made a gagging noise somewhere behind us, and I couldn't stop my giggle. "Well, I have an idea. If Morrigan agrees, she could transform into a raven and fly over. That way, we have an extra member to make up for my uselessness," I suggest. "Ah, finally, she starts thinking like a mage," Morrigan said, a soft smile dancing along the edges of her lips. I didn't miss the adoring glance Eldris shot her.

"So, there's room in the boat for maybe two more people. Alistair should come as well, as a fellow Warden. That leaves room for one person, and the dog," Eldris says, glancing around at the rest of the party. His gaze lingered on Sten and Leliana. An archer would be useful, but so would Sten and his massive…hulking-ness. "Zevran, would you like to come with us?" he asks, finally turning to the assassin, who looks just as surprised as I feel. "Why me, my dear friend?" Zevran asks. "We fought together at the ambush. You're a good fighter, Zevran, and I'd like to have you by my side," Eldris said. This was a clear gesture of trust, and while I could feel Sten bristling, Zevran grinned. This would leave Leliana to stay with Sten, and this left the rest of us to witness an awkward goodbye where Leliana finally just grabbed Alistair by his pauldrons and kissed him. "Come back to me in one piece," she ordered, and he smiled and nodded, looking dazed. Morrigan passed me her staff, rolling her eyes, before turning and disappearing into the bushes, presumably to perform the spell.

Eldris, Alistair, Cailan, Zevran, Puppy, and I all piled into one of the boats, and Leliana waited until we had set off before disappearing off in the direction of the inn. The boat was entirely too close to the water, and I spent the entire ride, clutching Cailan's hand, and praying to the Goddess. Eldris spent the entire boat ride laughing at me, and continued to laugh long after we'd docked. He only stopped laughing when the Templar opened the massive doors for us, ushering us inside. The situation was much as it was in-game. All the Templars seemed to be crowded into the lobby of the ground floor, and all of them reeked of desperation. They looked haggard, like this had been going on far too long. I recognized Gregoir as he turned to face us.

The Templar who had rowed us over the lake scurried forward and quickly explained who we were and our purpose there. Gregoir nodded and strode past him, coming to a stop in front of Eldris. "I am sorry, serah, but you must leave. We are dealing with a very delicate situation," he said. Morrigan joined us seconds later, wordlessly taking her staff from me. "We're here for recruits, as your man no doubt just told you," Eldris said, crossing his arms. "I must admit, I am weary of the Grey Warden's ceaseless need for new recruits. I understand it, with the Blight and all, but you'll find now allies here. The Templars cannot spare any men, and the mages are...indisposed," Gregoir said. I step forward. "I know about the situation here. I know about Uldred, and about the demons and blood mages. We came prepared. Let us take care of this situation for you, and then when we're done, let us have whatever recruits you can spare," I suggest. Gregoir narrows his eyes at me, but he concedes rather easily. "Very well. But know that when you pass the doors, until I hear the voice of First Enchanter Irving, I cannot open them again," he warns. Eldris turns to look at us, and we all nod our approval at him.

The doors closing behind us sound oppressively heavy. The entire tower smells of death and rot. We press onwards in silence, and it is only one relatively short corridor until we reach the room where Wynne is, but the encounter is somewhat different. There is no rage demon trying to kill her or the apprentices, which I'm thankful for, but they all regard us with suspicion. I turn to glance at Morrigan, and the witch catches my gaze. "Be nice," I mouth, and she rolls her eyes. I hope she listens.

"Who are you all?" Wynne asks, narrowing her eyes. She looks much like she does in the game, only more real, and I'm reminded of how much I love her. "We're here to help. Gregoir called for the Right of Annulment, but if we can clear the tower of demons in time, well, we can save everyone there is to save," I say, stepping forward. "And who are you, child? I can sense the magic you have," Wynne asks, not unkindly. "I'm...it's really complicated, and I think we should work as fast as we can. I'll explain everything to you when we're finished, though, I swear," I promise her. She nods, and Eldris makes brief introductions. Wynne removes the barrier, and she takes the lead. She knows the tower best, after all. Puppy and I stay with the apprentices, which I can see how much they appreciate.

I grab Cailan's hand before he walks out. "Be careful," I say, and then pull him down and his helmet. He rubs a soothing circle gently on my back before turning and jogging to catch up with the others, and I settle in for a long wait. One of the apprentices is young, only six or seven years old, so I pull her onto my lap. "Would you like me to tell you a story?" I ask. She nods eagerly, curling against me for comfort. Puppy goes and curls against the other young child, a boy who seems to be a little older. He lays against the dog and looks up at me as I begin.

"Once, a long time ago, there was a woman. This woman was destined to save not only the world, but the entire galaxy. Her name was Jane Shepard, and she was born in a small place called Mindoir…" And so I told them the story of Shepard, adapting it as I went. It was a fun challenge to make it something they would understand, turning the world of Mass Effect into something the kids would understand. The best part was that telling the story kept my mind off of what might be happening up above us; with the walls and floors so thick, I had no way of being able to listen or check up on them. The two children, however, seemed to enjoy my story, even though it made me desperately homesick. By the time I finished that, the girl had fallen asleep on my lap, and the boy was nodding off. "Would you tell us another one, Arya?" he asks.

So I begin to tell them the story of the Dragonborn, a fantastical rags-to-riches story. He, soon, dropped into a deep sleep, but I continued telling the story, if only to keep my worry at bay. We'd left our packs with Leliana and Sten, back at the docks, and I had nothing else to distract me as I settled in for a long wait.


	18. Chapter 18

It felt like days later when they finally came downstairs, but I knew it had only been a few hours. Through the small window in the room I stayed in with the kids and two other teenage apprentices, I watched it turn from noon to dusk to just barely dark before they came back downstairs, Alistair supporting First Enchanter Irving. One of the teenaged apprentices wisely came and took the still-sleeping girl off of my lap before retreating back against the wall. Cailan almost stalked up to me, looking visibly shaken even before he ripping his helmet off. His gauntleted hand cupped my cheek and he tilted my head back and kissed me until I had to pull back to catch my breath. Worry and fear radiated off of him, and reached my hand up to cup his face, disregarding the sweat and blood. "What happened?" I asked, my voice a whisper. He shook his head, merely pulling me into a bone-crushing hug. I met Eldris' eyes over Cailan's shoulders, but he just shook his head. They all looked older and more worn, and I was desperate to know what had happened. Morrigan was the only one who didn't look unnaturally subdued and quiet, and I noticed the thick, heavy book she had under her arm. She caught my eye and nodded at me. A group of haggard mages followed behind them, slowly, although the elected to stay in the apprentice chambers and begin clean up efforts to make the place livable once more.

"Come on downstairs with us, dear, and we can resolve this ordeal with the Knight-Commander," Wynne said, putting her hand on my arm. Cailan reluctantly let me go, although his fingers found mine and tightened around my hand. I'd never seen him so shaken up, not even when he'd watched his own death. So I joined them, feeling a little like an intruder as we walked silently back down the last corridor. Irving had a short conversation with Gregoir through the door to affirm that it was really us before the massive doors swung open. A whirlwind conversation followed, where Gregoir promised both Templars and mages to assist the Wardens in combating the Blight, and agreed to let Wynne join Eldris and Alistair. "Is there a mage that goes by the name of Anders here, by any chance?" I ask. Gregoir steps closer to me, and I shrink back against Cailan, away from his sudden anger. "Yes, and he's in solitary confinement. Why?" Gregoir asks, his tone suddenly guarded. "We want him," Eldris answers shortly, moving to stand in front of me. "You cannot have every mage you desire," Gregoir snarls. "Then I hereby invoke the Right of Conscription," Eldris replies evenly. I try to keep the smile off of my face as Gregoir lets out a wordless growl, turning to two of his men. "Go get him," he orders, and they scurry off. "I won't forget this, Warden," Gregoir says solemnly. Eldris gives him a vicious smirk that I can almost hear. "That's the point."

A few minutes later, the Templars return, practically carrying Anders. I recognize him easily, but he looks terrible. He's dirty, and he stink, and he's so weak he can't stand. His hair is thin and oily, his face unshaven. He looks malnourished, too, and his skin has a grey tone to him. "Knight-Commander, what in Andraste's name have you done to this man?" Wynne asks, shock seeping into her tone. "We did what was necessary to keep him from escaping again," Gregoir answers. I step forward, taking Anders from the Templars. He weighs so little that it's not hard for me to support his weight. I lock my gaze with the Knight-Commander's and pull my lips back in a snarl. "You better be glad that I took him, because if not I don't know how well I'd be able to stop myself from beating the living shit out of you," I hiss. Anders moves weakly against me, trying to help. I turn my attention to him, then, and let Eldris deal with Gregoir's anger. We get loaded onto boats, Anders sitting against me. "They've been feeding him magebane. It'll take a few days for the poison to leave him," Wynne tells me on the boat ride. "I want you to teach me to be a healer," I tell her, clenching my jaw and running my fingers through Anders' blonde hair. I divide my attention between him and Cailan, who still looks upset.

Eldris thought the best idea would be to brief each other away from prying ears in the tavern, so he led us a good distance away from anyone after thanking the Templars for their assistance. He sent Zevran to go get Leliana and Sten, sending Anders with him, and we waited pensively until they arrived. Leliana, it seemed, stayed behind to make sure Anders was comfortable until we returned. She and Sten had rented rooms for us at the inn, although they hadn't accounted for two new additions, and Leliana would take care of that while the rest of us talked.

"We should start with explaining who Arya is to Wynne," Alistair said, glancing at the older mage. "I would appreciate that," Wynne said, crossing her arms. "Well, the official explanation is that I'm a seer," I say, shifting my weight from one foot to another nervously. "I take it the official story isn't the truth?" she asks wryly, giving me a small encouraging smile. "No, it's not. I, well, Goddess I hope you believe me…I come from another world. Everything is...completely different. Where I'm from, the world of Thedas belongs in a story," I say. I watch Wynne's face carefully, but she keeps her expressions guarded. "The others trust you?" Wynne asks. I bite my lip. The question stung, even though it was valid. "We trust her implicitly. We didn't at first, of course. She's given us plenty of proof, and she saved my life at Ostagar," Cailan said, his tone a little snappish. Wynne shot a sharp look at him, but she let his tone go. He was still obviously shaken up.

"Very well, then, child, I'll believe your story. Although I would like to see some of your proof later, if you don't mind," Wynne said, gently. "Of course," I say, smiling. I'd always loved Wynne; she'd always seemed like a mother figure for my Wardens. "Now, let's address the matter of you being a mage. Are you from a Circle back in your world?" she asks. I panic, point-blank. "Well, see, magic doesn't really exist back on Earth," I answer, tugging on the end of my ponytail. Wynne looks surprised, for obvious reasons. "Yet you're a mage?" she asks, as though she can't believe it. I nod, and even let one of those useless light spells form and dance through the air before fading away. "I had no idea I was a mage until after I came here. I...don't think I'd do well in a Circle, though," I say. "I...am in no position to argue with you. Let me make it clear that I don't approve of apostates, but if you're under sanction from Grey Wardens and the King, then I suppose there's an exception. Have you had any sort of mentor?" she asked. I shake my head, leaning against Cailan. He puts his arm around my waist as Wynne frowns. "I suppose I'll have to take that position, then. You said you wanted to be a healer, anyway, and though I hate to say this, you can learn much from helping Anders," she says. I nod, setting my jaw once more. I wanted to march back to the Circle and show the Templars just what I thought about their means of preventing escapes.

Eldris takes control of the conversation, then. He runs through the battle they'd gone through in the Circle tower, glossing over the part about the sloth demon. I feel Cailan stiffen when he mentions the damn thing, so I make a note in my mind to try and figure out what he had seen. He tells briefly about the battle with Uldred, thanking me for telling how it had gone in-game. Thanks to the Litany of Adralla, they'd saved all the mages Uldred had left alive, and while it had been a challenge to take him down, it was done. After he finished explaining what had happened to me and Sten, we went back to the Spoiled Princess Inn. Baths had been drawn for everyone who'd been fighting, and Leliana was waiting downstairs.

"I didn't know if there was something special I'd need to do to care for Anders, so I just made him comfortable in a bed," she admitted, leading Wynne and me up to his room. He was looking a little less like death warmed over, wrapped in a blanket and propped up against the headboard. "We'll take over from here, child," Wynne said, and Leliana nodded and left the room. "I'd like a bath and a change of clothes," Anders said, immediately, his voice cracked. "I'll be back with the clothes, if Wynne will take care of the bath," I said, glancing at her. She nodded, and I ducked out of the room, making my way to the one Cailan had entered. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. He'd taken off his armor, but he'd yet to go take his bath. "I need a set of spare clothes for Anders," I say, softly. His head jerks up when he hears my voice, relaxing when he sees me. He walks over to his pack slowly, pulling out a set and tossing it to me before pulling out another set for himself. I walk over to him, pulling him down for a kiss. My eyes search his for some sign of what happened, what he'd seen, but I didn't get any clues. "After I take care of him, I'll come back and I'll take care of you," I promise. He smiles. "I'm looking forward to it," he whispers, although it doesn't have half the playfulness it usually has. I frown at him worriedly, but duck out of the room again and enter Anders' room once more.

A hot tub of water had been brought up to Anders' room, along with a thick woolen towel. "He needs help bathing. As a healer, this is one of the many jobs you'll have," Wynne says, her tone brisk. I interrupt before she can continue. "I've had to bathe people before due to outside circumstances. Are you okay with my help, Anders, or would you prefer Wynne?" I ask. He smiles a little at being asked. "I would like your help. Wynne told me how you want to be a healer. If she's okay with leaving us alone, I believe I can handle your instruction," he said, letting out a coughing laugh. This wasn't the carefree Anders I remembered from Awakening, and it broke my heart. Wynne pursed her lips, fighting back a smile. "I'll be just outside if you need me," she said, patting my arm. I lay the clothes neatly on the edge of the bed and help Anders stand. He already seems worlds better, being away from the Circle, even though the tower still dominates the horizon. I help him out of the rags his wearing, my fingers fumbling to find all the buttons. He gives me a patient smile as I finally get them off, helping him into the water. He leans on me quite a bit, and I almost forget to push my sleeves up.

He walks me through cues on what a patient can and cannot do themselves, teaching me how to keep my touch clinical but friendly. It was less awkward than I'd been fearing. "One of the worst things is a healer who seems too professional,"he said as I helped him back into his clothes. Wynne came back with a bowl of broth and we settled Anders back into the bed after he drank it. After that, we were done. He nodded off fairly quickly, and Wynne followed me outside. "Usually, a healer would check on a patient in a condition every hour, but I'll handle that. If he needs emergency care, you won't know what do anyway. You go back to the King. He needs you, too," Wynne said. I blushed, looking down at my shoes and scuffing them on the floor. She laughed, giving me a knowing smile and patting me on the arm before sending me off. When I re-enter the bedroom I'm to share with Cailan, he's sitting on the edge of the bed once more, this time freshly bathed.

I moved to stand next to him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and running my fingers through his wet hair. "The demon…I watched you die. I saw you side with Loghain at Ostagar. I saw Anora kill you, once. I saw Loghain destroying Ferelden and..." he said, trailing off with a shudder. I press a kiss to his forehead, pushing his hair back. He tilts his head back to look up at me. "None of it's real. I'm here, I'm yours," I whisper, kissing him. He pulls me onto his lap. "I know. I just...I need you close," he murmurs, desperately, burying his face in the crook of my neck. I curl as close to him as I can, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. "I'm here," I mumble, laying my head on his shoulder.

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 _ **A/N: Okay, so, I had an idea. Would you guys**_ _ **like me to post the playlist I listen to when I write this story? I'm totally down for that. Next chapter is just going to be some "where do we go from here" talk, so it won't be too exciting. Or it might be. Who knows? Not me, yet, certainly. I hope you all like this story, and please continue to leave reviews! It really keeps me going writing!**_ _ **(This is why you've gotten two updates in a row. Don't tell my other story. It might get jealous.)**_


	19. Chapter 19

The next morning, I woke late, tangled around Cailan. Sunlight was streaming through the window, and the dog was sleeping around our heads. Puppy shifted, tugging painfully on my hair, and I winced, waking Cailan. I nudged the dog, who simply let out a whisper-bark in his sleep before rolling over. I blew out a sigh and nudged Cailan instead, who had more luck rearranged the mabari hound at my side. Now, I was sandwiched between them, and the dog stank. "We have any plans today?" I asked, sleepily, curling into Cailan's side, tangling my legs in his. "Strategy meeting to see where else to go. Nothing else," he answered, burying his face in my hair. "We do now. We're giving the damn dog a bath," I grumble. Cailan lets out a bark of laughter and we relax for a few more minutes before we get too warm, throwing back the covers and scrambling out of bed.

"I should go check on Anders, see if he's okay. It's what a real healer would do," I say, pulling on my robes. Cailan grins at me from his place by the bed, his rumpled shirt in one hand. He crosses the room in a few short strides, shirt forgotten as he sweeps me up in a kiss, his hands around my waist. His shirt falls to the floor somewhere next to my feet and my fingers grab at the warm skin of his shoulders. He grinned against my mouth, his fingers trailing lightly up my back. "Give me a moment and I'll go with you," he said, pulling back, a smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes, leaning down and scooping his shirt. I tugged it over his head, kissing the tip of his nose. I wasn't completely sure what my exact feelings were; they were a muddled mess, but I wanted to stay with Cailan, and of that I was sure.

As soon as Cailan was dressed, we headed across the hall. Wynne had already been by and seen Anders. He still looked weak and pale and sickly, but he was looking a little stronger, and his window had been opened. "I'm never going back to that place," he whispered hoarsely, a look of determination on his face. I brushed the blonde hair out of his face. "I know. I won't let them take you," I promised, perching on the edge of the bed. He gives me a weak smile as Cailan leans awkwardly against the doorway. "I hear you're a mage, too," Anders says, shifting under the blankets. "I am. Did Wynne tell you about me?" I ask, glancing at Cailan. He looks at little uncomfortable, but I'm sure he'll be fine. Besides, Anders seems like he needs friendship more desperately than Cailan needs me to...I don't know. "She did, although she seemed biased. She thinks it's nonsense. Are you really from another world?" he inquires, sitting up against the headboard. "I am. It's completely different from this world. Cailan, could you go get the computer?"I ask, turning to look at him. He gives me a warm smile and complies, disappearing. "What's that?" Anders asks, a small frown turning his lips down.

"It's a machine, but it can do a lot. You'd think it's magic, from all it can do," I say, giving him a smile as Cailan appears in the doorway, MacBook in hand. He hands it off and pulls a chair over as I open it up. I'm not entirely sure where to start as Anders and Cailan both shift closer, so I pull up a video on YouTube. I click on a random one in my subscriptions, letting in play. Anders jumps a little when it starts, then leans closer. "Are...are they trapped inside of there?" he asks, awed. "No. It's...It's like when you go to see a play. There a people who sat and did this in their house, and recorded it using a machine, and then used a computer so anyone with a computer can access it," I explain. "It can do a number of things, too. You can talk to people, too. There's two ways to do that, I guess. You can video chat, which is like we're doing, only through the computers. You can see each other and hear each other; the only thing you can't do is touch. Cailan's seen it. And then there's instant messaging, which is like…imagine writing a letter to someone, and getting a response instantly. That's what it's like," I say. "That sounds...like magic," Anders says, his eyes narrowing. "It's not. I...honestly have no clue how it works myself, but it isn't magic," I assure him.

I teach Anders the basics before leaving the computer with him, a movie playing. Cailan and I head downstairs, my fingers laced with his. "What movie did you leave with him?" he asks, a faint smile playing at the corners of his lips. "The Princess Bride. I...It's one of my favorites. We'll have to watch it together sometime," I say, squeezing his hand. The others are already downstairs, as we'd figured they'd be, and they'd already mostly finished eating breakfast, aside from Eldris. He looked groggy and grumpy, and I slid into the seat next to him, and Cailan next to me. "What's wrong, Grump-Face?" I asked. Leliana motioned the bartender over, ordering for Cailan and I as Eldris turned his glare to the red-head. "You remember how I told you next time you woke me up it better be with sex?" he asked. I narrow my eyes in confusion as the waitress brings over two bowls of porridge, and three glasses of ale. I've tried it before, so I know the stuff tastes like piss, and it's way too early in the morning for that, but I don't protest. "Yeah, what of it?" I ask, cocking my head.

Eldris' ears twitch grumpily, turning the full strength of his glare on Leliana once more. "Well, don't. Because she did, and I'm not pleased about this situation," he growls. Alistair's face is red before Eldris can finish, and Leliana is fighting to keep her own blush away. I let out a coughing laugh; this may be the best thing I've ever witnessed. "Should I be congratulating you two?" Cailan asks, barely containing his laughter. Alistair turns even redder, a feat which I hadn't thought possible. "Wow, Cailan, don't tease this one, he'll burst into flames," I say, nudging him. Alistair flees, and I let out a gleeful laugh that tugs a reluctant smile from Eldris. He takes the mug of ale set aside for me, downing a good portion of it. I shrug, pulling the bowl of porridge closer to me. Leliana shakes her head, making eye contact with me. From the way she looks at me, I can safely assume that she wants to talk later.

"Strategy meeting in an hour. Someone go find Alistair and tell him," Eldris orders, once I'm halfway through the meal. He'd downed the rest of my ale about five minutes after the first sip, and I wasn't going to complain much. "Cailan, can you go tell Alistair? I wish to speak to Arya," Leliana says, grabbing my arm and pulling me away already. "Oh, sure, you can borrow her," he teases, walking off with a chuckle. She drags me off down the hall, to the bedroom she and Alistair must have shared on the first floor.

"Oh, Arya, it was so romantic," she says, falling backwards onto the bed as soon as the door closes behind her, a dopey grin on her face. "Tell me about it. But don't...don't give me any gross details," I say, settling into an armchair. "He gave me a rose ages ago, back before we left Redcliffe. And then while we traveled here, to the Circle, we got closer and closer, and last night, well, you can guess," she says, giggling. "I'm glad you're happy," I say, unable to hide my smile. "Oh, we are," she says, sighing happily. "So, okay, I don't mean to make this about me, but can you give me advice on how to not get pregnant if Cailan and I want to…?" I ask, trailing off, glancing over at her. She sits up, a frown of concentration on her face. "Wynne might be better at this than I am. You are a mage, so perhaps you can handle things yourself," she suggests. "Of course. Thanks, Leli," I say, giving her a smile. She spends the next twenty minutes talking about Alistair. His hair, his eyes, the way he smiles at her, and everything else. "He always seems so...embarrassed. It's adorable," she says, her blue eyes soft. "Be good to him, Leli," I say softly, a smile on my face. I stand, stretching. "I will, friend," she promises softly, her accent lilting pleasantly, a smile on her own face.

"I better go check on Eldris," I say, a smug grin on my face. "Oh, do be careful. If you piss him off, give me enough warning to ready my weapons," she says, laughing. I chuckle, slipping out of the room. I find Eldris at the bar. "You seem grumpier than usual," I tease, sliding onto a stool next to him. "I am. They woke me up early with their grunting and groaning," he muttered bitterly. I laughed, ordered water, and elbowed him gently in the side. "You'll be fine, Grump," I say. "Yeah, yeah. Just, when you finally do it, do it quietly, for the love of the Creators," he says. He does look tired, almost dreadfully so, and when he glances across the room, I follow it to Morrigan. "Grumpy about anything else?" I ask. "You're getting more perceptive every day, _da'len_ ," he answers, his tone softening slightly. "Of course. I learn from the best," I respond, nudging him. He shakes his head fondly. "It's just...She's expressed interest, but only in a fling, and I don't know how human courting rituals work," he mumbled. "Talk to her. Get to know her and her interests. If you disagree with her views, do it politely. Express your interest as well. And...maybe give her some gifts, too, once you've figured out what she might like," I suggest. "I suppose it's better than nothing," he sighed. "Thank you, da'len. Now, go find your handsome king and leave me to my brooding," he said, giving me a gentle shove. I laughed, sliding off the stool once more. I leaned up, kissing Eldris' cheek. "You'll do fine," I promise, then wander off to find Cailan.

I run into Alistair before I run into Cailan. "Okay, look, can we just pretend like this morning never happened?" he asked immediately, his face turning red once more. "If you insist. Although...be good to her, Alistair. You've both been through a lot. You could find happiness together,"I say, putting a hand on his arm. He smiles, a slow, soft, and warm smile. "Of course. Thank you, Arya," he says, and then he scurries off.

I wander back upstairs to my room, where I find Cailan, sitting curled up in a chair in front of the desk, writing. I walk over, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. "Whatcha writing?" I ask. He leans into my touch, laying down the pen he'd borrowed from me. "A journal, among some political reports. I'm trying to figure out a speech to give when we return to Denerim that paints it as something other than me abandoning my men," he answers, rubbing his face. "Will we speaking to Loghain first?" I ask, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Of course. The speech will come afterwards," he sighs. I lean back and begin to knead his shoulders. He relaxes further, so I continue with my touch, thinking carefully for a solution before I begin speaking.

"It'll be hard, but I propose that we try to convince Loghain that you finally heeded his warnings and left before the final battle. You left with an honor guard in secret to protect your life. You got to Lothering, and the Wardens found you there. Someone saw you traveling with them and spread the rumor that you had been kidnapped," I say. He shifts away from me, and I let my hands drop to the back of the chair. "That's a weak story," Cailan says, after a moment. "If you've got something better, or a way to add onto it, by all means, let's do it, but if not, then it's all we have," I say, gently. He makes a frustrated noise low in his throat, dragging his hand through his hair. "Maybe I shouldn't have let you convince me to leave Ostagar," he murmurs softly. My hand clenches on the back of the chair for a brief moment before I let go and stalk across the room, my arms crossed. An aching lump forms in the back of my throat and my eyes burn with tears, but I blink them away. It was hard not to take the words personally.

"Why's that, Cailan?" I ask, trying to keep the bitterness out of my tone. It seeps into it like poison regardless. I keep my back to him as I struggle to get my emotions in check, even as I hear him turn around. "Because I feel like I've abandoned my kingdom. I know I haven't; I know going might haved saved my kingdom, but there's a Blight on, and I threw them into political instability by gallivanting off with the Grey Wardens and now I'm here with you. And Maker strike me for this, but there's nowhere else I'd rather be. Loghain was right. I'm not a king, not really. I'm a boy, enchanted by fairy tales and romance," he says. I run my fingers through my hair, yanking through the tangles. "Then maybe I should get out of the picture, at least until we get back to Denerim and fix some of this mess. Would that help?" I ask, my voice hardly above a whisper. My hands twist in the sleeves on my robe, and the only warning I have before Cailan's arms are around me are the creak of the floorboards.

"Don't. We just...We need to go to Denerim and get this resolved," he says. "We'll, we have that strategy meeting or whatever. We'll...we'll bring it up there," I murmur, turning around in his arms. I rest my forehead gently against his, the lump in my throat still achingly painful. We stood like that for a few moments. "We'll go with your plan, unless someone can think of something better," he says, finally, after endless minutes of silence. I press a kiss to his lips, stepping back. "Very well. We should check on Anders again, and then head down to the meeting I suppose," I say. Cailan nods, briefly, his hands resting lightly on my waist. "Arya?" he murmurs, catching me as I pull back. "Hm?" I ask, glancing back up at him, catching my lip between my teeth. "I'm sorry," he says, his eyes soft. I pull him down into a hug, my arms around his neck. "So am I," I say, grinning at him.

I lead the way across the hall, knocking lightly on Anders' door before entering. He's fallen asleep by the time I enter, so I enter quietly and pick the computer up, shutting it gently. I pull the blanket up over him, tucking him in. He stirs as I do, his eyes fluttering open. "Arya?" he asks. "Hey. It's right before the strategy meeting. Do you want to go, or do you want to stay and sleep?" I ask. "Sleep," he answers. "Okay. Do you want me to put some music on?" I ask. "Yeah," he answers. I dull the brightness on the laptop and put on some quiet instrumental music, leaving quietly as Anders falls asleep again. When go downstairs to Eldris' room, everyone is standing around the table, where a weathered map is spread, held down by books. "Ah, so they finally take the time from each other to join us," Morrigan teases. I shake my head, a fond smile creeping onto my face.

"All right, so we have the Dalish left and the dwarves of Orzammar. Any ideas where to start?" Eldris asks, clearing his throat. "Denerim," Cailan says, crossing his arms. An air of authority spreads from him. He looks...like a king. "Denerim? What the hell are you on about?" Eldris asks, taken aback by the sudden suggestion. I can sense his hackles rising and I move to stand next to him. "The longer he goes without returning to the capital, the longer it seems he is abandoning his people. You have allies in the Circles, and Arl Eamon's troops. We need to get to Denerim and stabilize the political situation before waging war against the darkspawn," I say, placing a hand on his arm. The elf's ears twitch and he growls, low in his throat. "I don't know how this isn't clear already. I don't care about you _shemlen_ and your politics. I care about stopping the darkspawn," Eldris snarls, spitting out the words like they were poison. I take a chance, stepping in between him and the table, placing a hand on either side of his face. " _Atish, da'len_. You misunderstand my meaning," I murmur, my voice soft and soothing. I was admittedly rusty on my elvish, considering it was only a cipher in-game and not an actual language. Eldris lets out a heavy breath, relaxing under my hands. The lines of Mythal's vallaslin ease on his forehead as the lines smooth out. " _Ir abelas, lethallan_ ," he murmurs, stepping back, looking appropriately apologetic.

"Now, we need to get to Denerim. Anders is still weak, we need to decide whether we leave now and travel slowly or take only a small group and leave only the rest here," Cailan says, his tone completely business-like as if the previous discussion hadn't happened. "I suggest we take a small group," Morrigan says. The others agree almost completely, so we spend the next thirty minutes deciding who goes and who stays. In the end, Cailan decides that I go along with Eldris, Alistair, Leliana, and Morrigan going ahead in animal form. The rest will stay until Anders is well enough to travel to Redcliffe, and then wait for word from us.

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 _ **A/N: Editing to put an author's note bc I forgot earlier lmao**_

 _ **So, for the cover photo, that's Arya, and yes, that's DAI, but that's the most recent as I'm writing this so I'm using that I guess. Also, for the vallaslin etc etc that's going to be from DAI too so Eldris has the same vallaslin that Abelas does on his face. If anyone wants me to, I can (try) to make Eldris on my ps4 (I had made an elf on my ps3 in Inquisiton that I've been picturing as Eldris this entire time and I can't quite remake him perfectly so I'm doing my best.) One of Arya's mysteries is going to be solved shortly, I think, so prepare yourselves for that.**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**A/N: Shit gets real in this chapter I guess? Thanks to Asilyessam for the lovely ideas! I'm going to go ahead and give some of the meanings for the names (the two that have names the rest of them don't) so uh yeah. Bellanaris means eternity and Lanaste means mercy and I will touch upon the symbolism behind those names later on in the story and the next chapter will explain.**_

 _ **Asilyessam: Anders is bae omfg I love him so much. She'll definitely try to fuck with him later by try to showing him stuff with him from the games :3 Hope you like this chapter!**_

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We make good time, mostly because we're always awake before dawn and we don't stop until the sun is going down, and we eat while we walk. It's hell for me, but the others don't seem to mind, and Cailan is growing more miserable and anxious by the second, so I keep the complaining to a minimum. It isn't until our fourth day of travel that Eldris stops us around midday. "We're near Morrigan's hut, and there's something I need to do," he says. It takes me a moment to realize Morrigan has asked him to kill her mother. "Eldris, no," I say, stopping dead in the middle of the road. Alistair walks into me before he manages to stop. "I'm doing this," he says, his ears twitching as he tenses. "You don't have to. She can...It won't matter in the end," I say. His eyes narrow. "What's that supposed to mean?" he demands. "Just...consider any alternatives she gives you," I say, running a hand through my tangled hair. I bite back a curse. "So we're taking a detour?" Cailan demands, almost angrily. "Just trust me," I plead, almost tiredly. He starts to argue, then concedes before he does. "Okay. Eldris, Alistair, lead the way. You seem to know where you're going."

Flemeth's hut is almost hidden by the marsh itself. The clearing opens suddenly, and her house is sitting peacefully on the edge of a large pond. Had Eldris not known the way, I doubted we'd have been able to find it. As in the game, she is waiting outside, her arms crossed and a knowing smirk on her face. She looks like she does in the second and third games, befitting of a goddess, and when she addresses us, it is me she addresses us. "And so you come to me at last, my child," she says, and it's only when I realize that she can't be talking to anyone else that I realize she's talking to me. "What the fuck?" are the next words out of my mouth, as it's the only thought I can clearly articulate, and Flemeth throws her head back in a laugh. "You haven't wondered how you got here, to a world that isn't your own, yet feels like it is?" she asks. "It doesn't feel like my world," I answer, perplexed. "It could," she answers. I shift my weight from one foot to another nervously. "What do you mean?" I ask, rubbing at my wrist nervously. Flemeth was admittedly very dangerous, and talk to her was making me very nervous.

"You know who I am," she said. It was not a question. "You are mine. I spent seventeen years nurturing a ritual to get you here," she continues. I take a step forward, towards her. "What?" I ask. "Your life on Earth was not your first. I could give you your memories, but there will be a price. Are you willing to pay it?" she asks. I don't hesitate. I need to know. "Yes. Yes, I'm willing. I want to know," I say. She smiles, like she knows something I could only guess at, and reaches her hand out towards me. I step forwards, towards her. "Arya, you can't do this! She's crazy! You can't trust her!" Cailan calls out. I stop, turning to look back at him. "I know what I'm doing, I think. I can trust her as much as one can trust anyone," I say. Flemeth smiles almost warmly. "Know this: I would never hurt my champion," she says. I walk the rest of the way to her, eagerly. She grasps my forearms, her grip gentle. "This is likely to be overwhelming, Bellanaris," she warns. I nod, only slightly confused, sure that all of my questions will be cleared up in a moment, and take a deep breath before her hands travel up to press against my forehead, fingers spreading along my temple, and my whole world erupts in a supernova of memories.

* * *

 _An elven boy chases an elven girl through the forest. His face is unmarked, but she wears the vallaslin of Mythal proudly. They are laughing. "You won't catch me," she calls back to him, the wind carrying her words. "You'll eat those words!" he yells, scrambling_ _gracefully over tree roots. She glances over her shoulder, sees him gaining on her, and climbs up a tree. "Oh come on, Bella! That's just not fair!" he complains, hauling himself up after her. Her giggle comes from high above. "Do you concede?" she asks, from farther away now. "Oh, fine, you win, I'll hunt. Are you happy?" he asks. She drops down to the forest floor, a grin on her face. "Of course," she answers, flopping down underneath the canopy of a tree._

* * *

 _The same elven girl stands in front of a temple deep in the same forest, her staff out and crackling with magical energy. The same elven boy stands next to her, a boy in his hand. Another man, far older than either of them stands behind them, and all of them have seen the death of a goddess now. "Abelas, get inside. We'll hold them off," the girl says, her voice cold and angry. Abelas gives them one last, long look before complying, bounding inside the temple. The doors of the inner sanctum seal shut behind him, and the girl shares a look with the boy. "You do not have to stay, Lanaste. Mythal was not your goddess to serve," she says. "Bellanaris, I am not staying for Mythal. I am staying for you," he says, his voice hard with determination. She thinks she might argue, but she swallowed something bitter and doesn't. "Ma serannas, lethallin," she says, and then Elgar'nan's forces are storming them and she loses Lanaste in the haze of battle. When she falls, she falls knowing that she served Mythal to her last breath._

* * *

 _A elven Qunari woman rises early in the morning, before the sun has risen, to the crying of a small child. She soothes it with sounds made low in her throat, rocking the baby gently in her arms. Her role is a versatile one, and an important one. When the child stops crying, she lays it gently back in it's crib. One of the other women have risen, and so she slips outside, into the cool dark air, and further, out of the city. A man waits for her, an easy smile on her face. "I didn't know if you'd be able to make it," he says. "I wouldn't miss it," she says, shivering. She should have grabbed a cloak, but hadn't thought. The whole business of sneaking out to meet Tenol was risky enough. He drapes his own cloak over her shoulders. "I can't stay long. They're already getting suspicious," she says, sounding apologetic. "Don't tell me you're becoming responsible, Asal" he says, sounding mockingly shocked. She laughs, a bright and happy sound. "Never," she answers, almost a promise._

* * *

 _The next time she sneaks out to meet him, she has all her belongings with her, and he is surrounded with Qunari soldiers. "Did you think to abandon your post for this baas, Tamassran?" one of them snarls. His neck is snapped before she can reach him, and she lets out a wail from deep within her. She attacks blindly, something deep and primal rising up within her. Her body falls next to his, her best and only friend._

* * *

 _Bellanaris loved the stars so much she slept under them most nights. The crystal spires of Arlathan were a place of opulence and wealth, and a place she only went where she had to. Most of the time, Lanaste joined her. "I don't understand your fascination with them," he'd mutter, but he'd curl up under her blankets with her and use her stomach as his pillow. She'd run her fingers through his hair. "They're so vast and beautiful," she'd answer. He'd smile and grumble, but by the time the Mythal was betrayed, had anyone asked him, he would have said his favorite moments were spent under the stars with his best friend. She would have answered the same._

* * *

 _When she first dedicated herself to Mythal, she was brought before the goddess. She was ethereal and beautiful and she was kind. She saw what Bellanaris did not want her to; a lonely orphan who was frightened and scared. It was through the duties Mythal gave her that she met Lanaste. He was Fen'Harel's chosen, a former slave who'd had his tattoos removed. "I'm proud of mine," Bellanaris said. "I would be too. Mythal loves you, and you love her. A blind fool could see that," he'd answered, and the two of them had been friends ever since._

* * *

I wake up slowly, crumbled on the ground, a thousand new memories warring in my head. Naturally, this resulted in a headache from hell. I didn't notice I was crying until I noticed Cailan kneeling in front of my, wiping tears from my cheeks. "What did she do to you?" he asked, softly. "She...let me remember," I say softly. "Let you remember what?" he asks, clearly frustrated. "Who I am. Who I was," I say, reaching up to touch my forehead. I let out a soft sound in the back of my throat, something that might have been a groan. "You look...different," Alistair says. I nudge Cailan back enough to stand up and stumble to the edge of the pond, where I fall to my knees. I peer at my reflection and, sure enough, I do look different. My ears are pointed. "What the fuck," I blurt out, loudly, and turn back to glare at Flemeth. "You were warned that there would be consequences," she answeres, humor in her tone. "You didn't tell me I would change race!" I say, my voice going up three or four octaves in my panic. "You changed race when you were born onto Earth," she said, calmly. I shake my head, throwing my hands up in the air as I pace away. "Fuck me sideways," I hiss. I still looked mostly human; all that was different was the ears. "What happened outwardly?" I asked. "There was a light. You collapsed. She caught you," Eldris answers.

I let out a deep breath, trying not to panic. "I'll deal with this. So, Flemeth, or should I address you as Mythal?" I ask, turning to her. "I am more Flemeth than Mythal," she answers. Even though I knew this already it...hurts. "I...am sorry, I think, more than anything," I whisper, walking towards her again. I look at the wet ground and the mud smearing my shoes. "My child, you did all you could. You could not have prevented my death, but you did everything in your power to avenge it. I do not blame you, nor could I ever," she says, reaching out to cup my cheek. "Now go. Enough of this nonsense, you were never one for theatrics. Save the world, like you were meant to do," she says, her hand falling back to her side. I grin. "What about your grimoire? Morrigan is expecting it," I point out. "I'll get it for you," she says, disappearing inside for a moment before returning, the book in her hand.

"Morrigan wants you dead," Eldris says, swallowing. "You'll not kill her," I say. "Okay," he answers, "but we'll talk later." I nod. "I think we need to do that. All of us," I say, accepting the book. "Go, da'len, and may the world shake before you," Flemeth says. This time, I lead the way out of the swamp.


	21. Chapter 21

I seemed stronger, already. I walked longer before my feet started hurting, although that could have been because I was so distracted. There were so many new memories in my head, two entire lifetimes that I had lived before this one. Mostly, I wanted to sit and remember, but part of me wanted to just get the entire conversation with the others over already too. "Here's a good spot to camp," Alistair said loudly, shaking me out of my reverie. I almost jumped, but when I took a good look around, I realized he was right. There was a stream nearby, and we were almost entirely out of the marsh. "Right, yeah," I say, and only then I realize how thirsty I am. My head throbs as I come back to myself and I wince. I lay my pack down gently, and we go about setting up a camp. I'm in charge of the fire and cooking, and afterwards, even though all I want to do is curl up in my tent and try not to scream, I settle down as comfortably as I can in front of the fire. "Start talking, flat-ear," Eldris snarls, his ears flattened against his head. "Calm, Eldris," I say tiredly. Cailan sits next to me, and I curl against him, seeking comfort. He wraps one arm around me, and I glance up at him. Leliana sits next to Alistair, both of them looking concerned.

"Shall I tell you who that woman was, first? I believe that would make it easiest," I say, half talking to myself. "We know who she is, though. That's Morrigan's mother," Alistair says, confusion colouring his tone. I push myself to my feet, unable to sit still. From the memories that I could pull out, that had been the same in every life. "That is not all she is. Long ago, she was a woman, betrayed, and long ago a goddess clawed her way through the ages to bring justice to her," I say. "Get to the point," Eldris says from his place by the fire, curled up like a cat ready to pounce. "Now she carries Mythal with her," I say, turning to look at him. "That's a lie! Mythal was locked up with all the other gods, by Fen'Harel!" Eldris shouts, springing up and stalking towards me. "Mythal was murdered! I was there! Fen'Harel had nothing to do with her murder!" I growled, magic flashing around me. It was harmless, mostly, but it made the air smell like ozone and electricity. "Who killed her?" he demanded. "Elgar'nan. He got jealous," I answer bitterly, millennia-old anger rising up within me once more. "What about the legends?" Eldris asks. I reach out, laying a hand gently on his shoulder. "The legends are wrong, mostly, but Fen'Harel locked away the other gods because they murdered Mythal. She was the best of them, and they killed her. I know more, but they are not my secrets to tell, so I'm not going to tell them," I answer, stepping back.

"Dalish legends are all well and good, but that doesn't let us know what she did to you," Cailan said. I pace, crossing my arms. "This is not the first life I have lived. I've lived several others, but I can only remember two of them clearly. In my first life, I was an elf in Arlathan. I served Mythal personally, and I died when Elgar'nan stormed her Temple. In my second, I was an elf serving under the Qun. I died trying to leave. I was too important for them to allow me it. The others are...hazy. Flemeth removed a barrier in my mind and allowed me to remember," I say, turning to face him. "And what does this mean? What did she mean, when she said there would be a price to pay?" he asked. I shrug in response. "Mythal rarely answered questions such as that, even before. It might drive me insane. It's made me a little...elfy, already. Or, perhaps I'll be bound by my duty to Mythal once more," I answer. "What duty could you have to her?" Leliana asks. "Her Temple still stands, I believe. It would be my duty to guard and protect that Temple and...what is within. It would also be my duty to do whatever Mythal required of me, even in her current form. With Morrigan as our traveling companion and my friend, that could prove to be dangerous. However, Mythal is not vindictive. She is dangerous, yes, but I was an orphan when I went to her, and she became a mother to me," I answer. Cailan stands, moving to wrap his arms around my waist. "Whatever happens, we'll go through it together," he promises.

We eat supper in a tense silence, broken by little conversation. Afterwards, we all retreat to our respective tents, Eldris now safely in possession of Flemeth's grimoire. "There may be nightmares, tonight," I warn Cailan, curling around him. He presses a kiss to my forehead, one hand stroking my hair. "If there are, then I am here for you," he promises. I smile weakly, curling closer to him. "I love you," I say, softly. "I love you too," he answers. I drift off into a troubled sleep not long after.

 _An elven girl with dark hair runs through the dirty streets of an alienage, an elven boy on her heels. "C'mon! We gotta go tell Papa!" she calls back to him, nearly tripping over her skirts. He's younger, smaller, and he can barely keep up, but she slows enough to take hold of his arm and pull him along with her. She skids into the house, although it can hardly be classified as one. It's a one-room shack that her and her brother share with their father. "Papa! The humans are coming!" she says, out of breath and terrified. "Take your brother. Get in the cellar," he ordered. She nods, sweeping the younger boy into her arms even though she's only a couple inches taller than he. She trips, staggering towards the cellar door in the back of the house. "Don't come out until I tell you," he calls, his voice quiet and sharp with anger-fear. She nods, her red hair like a halo of fire framing her face, and disappears into the dark damp of the cellar. That is the last time she ever saw her father alive._

* * *

 _Three years later, and the elven girl has been sold into slavery. Sometimes, she shivers with the anger of it all. They'd found her crouched in a corner of the dirty cellar, her face smeared with mud and tears, and she'd stood in front of her brother. She'd even punched one of the humans in the face, and still, they'd taken her so easily, and they'd separated her from her brother. He'd gone to a good master, she'd heard from the other slaves. They were kind; they'd all been new once, and they remembered what it was like to be sad and angry and scared all at once. She was more angry than she was scared, and once one of the other slaves had asked her about how she'd been captured. She'd turned around and punched the wall. When her master had her hauled to his study and sat across from him, she stared at him with a defiant glare in her eyes. "What do you have to say for yourself?" he asks. "It was either the wall or the girl. I thought you'd take less offence to the wall," she answers. "You cannot keep acting like this, Bella," he says, though not unkindly. She bites back a snarl._

* * *

 _The first time he hit her, she tasted blood for a week afterwards. She added her anger onto the anger that was already there, already boiling. "I will have revenge," she promised herself. The next time he hit her in a fit of drunken rage, she exploded in magic she hadn't been aware of possessing. He was little more than a scorch mark on the floor. She ran and didn't look back._

* * *

I wake with a soft gasp. Soft sunlight fills the air and Cailan stirs gently beside me. It takes a moment, my heart hammering erratically in my chest, before I remember where I am and who I am. I burrow into the warmth, pressing a kiss against his chest. "Bad dreams?" Cailan asks groggily, shaking his hair out of his face. "No worse than I expected," I say gently. He wraps his arms around me, burying his face in the crook of my neck. "C'mon, let's get up. If we don't, Alistair will eat all the breakfast," I say, gently working my way out of Cailan's hold. He tightens his grip. "I can think of many things I'd rather do with you than eat breakfast," he says, pressing a kiss to my neck before leaving a trail of them to my collarbone. My breath hitches in my throat, my skin suddenly much more sensitive. I swat him on the back of the head. "When we get to Denerim. My first time in this body will not be rolling around in the dirty like a savage," I say. He pulls back, looking surprised, but fiendishly pleased. The two of us dress rather quickly, and then join the others outside. After a quick breakfast of bread and cheese, we pack up the camp, and we start walking.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Okay so these chapters seem to be getting shorter and shorter lately; sorry about that. This was mostly filler, and in the next chapter we will start the Denerim bit. I do have a question to ask you all, though. I have a sequel sort of planned, and while I won't get to it for awhile, I'm thinking of just continuing it in this same fic (this is mostly because I suck at coming up with titles.) If you have anything to add on this front, that would be very very helpful and I will be indebted to you.**_


	22. Chapter 22

We are attacked by a horde of darkspawn around midday. Eldris and Alistair sensed them coming, so we were ready, and I, it seemed, had remembered a few spells from my previous lives. I held my own, this time, and Eldris was grudgingly impressed. I couldn't figure out where I stood with the elf, but I hoped it was somewhere good. He was a friend, almost like a brother, and I didn't want this to drive us apart. We pass through Lothering, a husk full of corruption and taint. When we are far enough away, Cailan holds my hair back as I empty the contents of my stomach in the bushes. I sit back on my heels afterwards and wipe my mouth on the back of my hand. We keep going long after dark, trying to get away from the taint. I can see fairly well, to my surprise, although Cailan, Alistair, and Leliana are struggling. Eldris and I take the lead, then, until we find a suitable camp well after midnight, and well away from the town. I take the first watch, and then the last one. Being tired helps keeps the dreams away, and until I'm ready to deal with them, that's the best option. Cailan is worried, and so are the others, but I'm not too tired to hinder me.

We make good time, and when we set up camp again, a little earlier than I'd like, I settle down readily. "I'll take first watch," I volunteer again. "You need some sleep," Leliana says, crossing her arms as she frowns at me. I give her an easy, lopsided grin as I lean back against the base of a tree, crossing my arms behind my head. "I'll get some, after the watch," I say. "Arya, you are going to run yourself into the ground," she chides, crossing her arms. "I'll take the watch with her. That way, if she falls asleep, it won't be a big deal," Cailan says, settling down next to me. "Aw, how sweet," I say, curling against his side automatically. I pull my backpack closer, dragging my backpack out. It has a full charge, for once, and Leliana ducks inside her tent, I open it. I don't have much to do, so I open Tumblr and start scrolling, Cailan watching idly.

"Oh, Maker, what is that?!" he says, stirring, after about half an hour. "Well, see, when a man and a woman love each other very much…" I say smirking. He elbows me gently. "I know what it is, obviously. I mean...why is there a video of it?" he asks. I thought briefly about explaining the difference between a video and a GIF but decided ultimately that that was entirely too technical. "It's called porn, some people like seeing it, and I have no control over what pops up on this website," I explain. "But why is she tied up?" he asks, and I can almost see the way his face crinkles in confusion. Oh my god. Am I really going to try and explain this stuff to him? Does he really not know? "Some people are into that. Do you not know?" I ask, tilting my head. I can't see him properly, but I can see him well enough to know that, no, he doesn't know. "That's…" he says, trailing off. "...I could show you," I say. "I...okay. This is...all right," he says.

I pull out headphones, and then I wonder what would freak him out the most. I don't want to take too long, either, so I just pull up some BDSM, and then I rearrange myself and catch the look of horror on his face. "You people watch this on a regular basis?" he asks, his cheeks pink with embarrassment. "Some do. It's not really my thing. And it's not all like this," I say, barely holding back laughter. I shut it off, done tormenting him for the time being. "Well, that was an...experience," he says, clearing his throat. I laugh, trying to be quiet and mindful of those still asleep. I lean over and kiss Cailan's cheek. "I wish there was a way to get you back to my world for a day or two. You'd have a field day," I say, curling back up against his side, my head resting on his chest. "If things like that are commonplace, I don't know if I'd enjoy myself," he says, but there's a teasing lilt to his tone. "Oh, almost everyone watches it, but it's like it's a big secret. It's like those smutty books that are here. Of course, we have those, too," I explain. I roll over, tucking my hands behind my head and staring up at the sky.

It's a different one than I looked at on Earth, and this is the first time I notice. I get quiet, after that, staring at the stars and thinking. There's a different sun, a different moon. I'm in a different solar system, certainly, but could I be in a different galaxy? I'd always loved the stars, sure, but this new train of thought was sort of scary. I shook my head, grabbed the computer, and pulled up one of those planet tattoos, one that would go up my entire arm. Eldris was set for the next watch, and it was nearly time for him to get up anyways. I had Cailan go wake him, then sent him to bed.

And while Eldris and I kept watch in the peaceful dark of the camp, he set to work, inking stars into my skin. When sleep finally claims me, it is a blessedly dreamless one.

* * *

 _ **A/N: So, I had one suggestion to keep this story in the same doc, and one to give the second one a new one. If it gets a new one, it will be called Phoenix Rising (most likely) and will follow a new protaganist through DA2 (hint hint: it's the modern version of Lanaste.) There will be a third story afterwards, following Inquisition, if I don't get burnt out by then.**_

 _ **This was a short filler chapter and it took me forever to write, but there was a 1,000 word essay due in my english class and I'm shit at writing essays, so it admittedly took me some time. In the next chapter, I have plans for getting everyone to Denerim, meeting up with Morrigan, and possibly spending the night at the Pearl and running into Isabela. Suggestions and reviews are always welcome (and actually I love those so much, so, like, please?) and I'll see you next time!**_


	23. Chapter 23

We arrive at Denerim around five p.m. the next day. We meet up with Morrigan just outside the city's gates. Eldris greets her with a kiss, pressed hesitantly to the corner of her mouth. "I have something for you. I can give it to you once we're alone," he says. She nods, a smile on her face, before turning to the rest of us. "The alienage is locked down, as you said, because an arl's son was killed. There's an elven woman locked in the dungeons by the name of Anaba Tabris that you might be interested in speaking to. Queen Anora has become very interested in the elf, t'would seem. There have also been several visits to the castle by a noble by the name of Lysander Cousland, petitioning the Queen for assistance," she informs us. "I know the Couslands. I wonder what Lysander could possibly want. From what I remember, he was Bryce's youngest," Cailan says, crossing his arms and shifting his weight uneasily. "I think I know. In the game, Arl Howe attacked Highever Castle. Fergus Cousland had already gone to Ostagar, but Bryce and Eleanor were killed in the attack. In the game, you only see this attack if you are playing as the youngest child of the two, so Duncan is there to save you. As Lysander was not recruited, he must have escaped some other way," I say, subconsciously mirroring his actions. "That's a reasonable conclusion," Alistair said, nodding to me. Morrigan rolls her eyes, scoffing.

"It is too late to do anything today. Perhaps we should find somewhere and rent a room for the night?" Leliana suggests, shooting a glance at me. I'd told her about my promise to Cailan, and she'd given me several tips. I roll my eyes at her, but I have to agree. "We won't be able to accomplish anything if we storm into the castle today," I say. Cailan is obviously displeased, but he can't disagree. "Any suggestions for a place?" Alistair asks, after a moment. "What about the Pearl? It's a whorehouse, and apparently one of the better ones from what I heard in-game. That means the owner is generally trustworthy enough not to tell anyone who we are," I suggest. "I've heard a lot of good things about the Pearl," Cailan admits. "One question, before we head off. Do they serve elves?" Eldris asked, a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. "If they don't, we'll stay somewhere else," Morrigan says, before anyone else can answer.

"They serve elves, yes, so finding somewhere else with a trustable owner won't be necessary," Cailan says. We take a brief moment to try and disguise Morrigan's and myself's apostate-ness, and then Cailan leads us into Denerim. The security is rather lax, which is surprising. The streets are a crowded maze, with some of the buildings leaning haphazardly over the street. There are people, too, more people than I thought, and we manage to blend in rather easily until we get to the Pearl. Leliana is in charge of renting rooms, explaining that we don't want any of Sanga's special services, just a place to stay for the night, and the woman seemed to understand. She gave Leliana a wink and several keys, along with directions to the rooms and the baths. We split off into groups of two, Eldris and Morrigan bunking together, with the former looking as nervous as a cat near water.

The room Cailan and I take is large, well-lit, and overall cozy. "I can't decide if I want to take a bath right now or sink into that bed and never get out," I say, dumping my bag onto one of the tables. "If you opt for the bath, I'd love to join you," he says, moving to stand behind me with his hands on my waist. I lean back against him and he rests his chin on the top of my head. "Are you nervous?" I ask him. "About what?" he asks back, a teasing glint in his eyes. "About going back," I say. I'm terrified, myself. I have no idea what's going to happen, and the thought makes me a little anxious. "I'm a little worried," he says, but I can see he's a lot more worried than he's letting on. I turn around, putting my hand on his cheek. "It'll all work out eventually, I suppose. It might not be for the better, but it'll work out," I say, giving him a wry grin. A few months ago, when I first came to Thedas, I'd have been panicking hardcore. He gives a dry chuckle, then pulls me close. "Exactly, so there's no use worrying about it. I suggest we go take that bath and spend the rest of the night in the room. It might be the only decent sleep we get for awhile," he says, giving me a sideways glance, and part of me is grateful that he's not mentioning the elephant in the room, but another part of me wishes he would address it in some manner.

We grab a change of clothes and find the baths easily enough. They're heated magically, so the water is constantly warm, which is a relief, and the individual tubs are large enough for three individual people to stretch out in comfortably. I don't want to think about what others have gotten up to in these tubs before, but they seem clean enough, so I sink into the water and let out a groan. "Comfortable?" Cailan asks, laughing as he sinks into the water. I crack open one eye. "I don't think I'm ever leaving," I answer, sinking deeper into the water until it comes up to my chin. Cailan laughs, although he seems to relax too.

"You know, I think I lied. I'm terrified of the outcome. Anora will be so disappointed in me. Maker, I didn't know if I can stand up to her and Loghain," Cailan says. I sit up and move closer to him, resting a hand on his arm. "I'll deal with one of them, you take the other. We'll be unstoppable," I say. He lets out a dry, humorless chuckle and wraps one arm around me, pulling me against his side. "Which one do you want to deal with?" he asks. "I'll be fine with either, but I feel like Loghain will at least be straightforward with me," I say, giving him a small smile as I look up at him. "Yeah, Anora could talk circles around you. It makes arguing with her very difficult, in fact," he says. "I'm very good at arguing, actually. I was the best on the debate team," I say, and I try not to remember too much, lest I get nostalgic. "What's a debate team?" he asks.

"It's a team specifically for arguing. The one at my school wasn't too large, but without a doubt I was the best on it. Ella was the second best," I answer. He grins, stretching out in the water. "You know, I think I'd like to see that. You might be able to give Anora a run for her sovereigns," he comments. I snort, and then we sit in silence for a few minutes. It feels almost like a spell has been cast on the room, it's so peaceful and quiet, with only the soft swish of the water. "What's our plan, for tomorrow? What are we going to try to do?" I ask, after what feels like hours of sitting in the silence. "I...am not entirely sure. It depends upon their reactions at seeing me alive," Cailan says. "And in the company of an elven woman," I add, my eyebrows quirking up. "That, too. I can't decide if I should try to keep us a secret for now or…" he says, trailing off as he turns to me. "It might make it easier. Won't you need to talk to Anora though?" I ask, pulling my knees up and wrapping my arms around my legs. "I will. I'm not sure what to do, actually," he says, sighing. "I have an idea. It's probably really terrible though," I say, resting my chin on my knees.  
"What's your idea?" he asks, shifting so he can face me. "We hide my magic. An elven apostate mage is a lot worse than an elf. Then we go in, let you make your grand appearance, and then we find Anora and talk to her. After we've reached an understanding with her, we should all talk to Loghain together. Alternatively, we go in there, Loghain and Anora don't listen to us, and we end up in the dungeons with no one to combat the Blight. Perhaps Alistair and Eldris should stay here while we go with Leliana. Or we leave Leliana too, I don't know," I say, and by the time I finish I'm quite aware that I'm babbling. "That's not a bad plan, actually. We go in there, just the two of us, and you'll have a bow instead of a staff. They wouldn't dare kill me; I'm the King, and I'll use it to keep them from killing you if I have to, although I doubt it'll come to that. We'll say that the Grey Wardens never kidnapped me, I was just traveling with them after being separated from everyone at Ostagar and saved by you and the Wardens. After, we'll talk to Anora about, well, us," he says. "It could work. Especially with my excellent argument skills," I answer, grinning.

It isn't long after that until we get out of the bath, dressing in our pajamas before heading to our room. "Do you think we could get extra blankets?" I ask, depositing the dirty clothes I'd just changed out of onto the floor. "I'll go ask Sanga. How many do you want?" he asks. "At least three. More, if you can get them. It's kinda cold in here," I say. He rolls his eyes, presses a kiss to my cheek, and then steps outside again. I shiver, and then decide to go ahead and crawl under the blanket that's already on the bed. It's only slightly warmer, it being a thin blanket and all. When Cailan comes back, four blankets under his arms, I almost get out of the bed to fix them.

"If you think it's so cold now, I don't understand how you'll be able to survive a Ferelden winter," he remarks, spreading them over the bed, and me. "With a lot of complaining, of course," I answer, giving him an easy grin. He rolls his eyes, but slides under the blankets with me. "I suppose it's up to me to try and remedy the situation when you get too cold," he says. I roll over onto my side, facing him. "You'd have my eternal gratitude," I say.

"I can think of several ways to keep you warm," he remarked, a lilt to his tone that hadn't been there before. This was clearly an offer, one that I could reject if I wanted. "I'd say you better get started, then," I reply. He grins, rolling both of us over so that he hovers above me. "If you want to stop, or slow down, or anything, then just say the word," he murmurs. "Just...be gentle," I say, shifting nervously underneath him. I was nervous, yes, but I was ready to do this, and I trusted Cailan. He dips down, pressing kisses along my jaw before trailing down my neck, stopping at the collar of the shirt I'm wearing. He brushes my hair back out of the way and starts back up, pressing a final kiss to my lips. He sits back, the blankets falling off of him, and he grasps onto the hem of my shirt. "Are you sure?" he asks again. I nod, sitting up and letting him pull the shirt up and over my head. He removes his own, and then wraps his arms around me, guiding me back down onto my back. He leans his forehead against mine, a soft smile on his lips. "I love you," he says. "I love you too."

* * *

The next morning, I was sore, and I was nervous about what would happen whenever we walked into palace, but I felt better physically than I had in awhile. Sleeping in a soft bed does wonders for the back, apparently. And, as a mage, with a healing spell that took quite a bit of effort, actually, I was able to make the soreness go almost completely away. I still moved quite a bit slower than Cailan, and it almost reminded me of the mornings when I'd have to get dressed for school. I'd take forever. By the time I'd pulled my underclothes on, he was dressed in his armor. The golden set, too, the one that screamed "King" at the top of it's lungs. "I'll go tell the others about our plan. You just keep getting dressed," he says, kissing the top of my head. "All right, but when I get dressed, I'm expecting breakfast," I reply. The corner of his mouth quirks up in a crooked grin. "Are you sure you'll be able to eat before we march on the palace?" he asks. "You have a point," I concede. He shakes his head fondly, kisses me again, and leaves the room. I kick it into overdrive, then, moving at a faster pace, although it still takes me awhile to get my armor on and completely fastened.

When I exit the room and enter the common room of the brothel, the others are sitting at a table with mugs of tea in front of them, and one in front of an empty spot for me. I slide into the chair and wrap my fingers around the mug. Not a lot of warmth seeps through the leather gloves, but the gesture is comforting all the same. "So, I hear you're the mastermind behind this plan," Alistair says. "Only if it's a good one," I answer, flashing him a grin. Eldris snorts, rolling his eyes, but he can't hide his smile. I nudge him gently, and he glances at me before giving me a sharp nod. "It's a very good plan, although I suggest giving you daggers instead of a bow. Those are easier to use, and if someone attacks you, you won't look like a complete fool," Leliana says. "That's...probably best, actually," I agree. We spend a few more minutes sitting around the table, drinking the tea, which was far too bitter for my taste, and then Cailan and I get our weapons. Eldris fixes the sheathes and the daggers for me, so that they hang on my hips instead of on my back like in the game, and he gives me a worn leather hood. "This will hide your ears, make them more willing to talk to you. One of the elders of my clan gave it to me the first time I had to go into a shemlen city. And since you're no longer a shemlen, and I'm a Grey Warden, I thought you might get more use out of it," he says. "Thank you, lethallin," I say, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. He grins, shaking his hair out of his eyes. "Anything for you, lethallan. Just don't fuck this up, all right?" he said. I laugh and pull the hood up, tucking my hair behind my ears. I've yet to get used to the points on them, and the new sensitivity, but I wasn't going to complain. "Thanks for the vote of confidence," I reply, rolling my eyes.

A few minutes later, and Cailan and I head out, the sunlight glinting off of his armor. "Let's go give them hell," I say, grinning up at him. "That's the plan," he answers, and a few feet away from the brothel and people begin to recognize him, leaving us for a long walk to the palace.

* * *

 ** _A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out, guys! I don't have an actual reason this time, to be honest._**

 ** _Asilyessam- Zev will indeed be disappointed, but fear not! There'll be a scene later on if all goes to plan. And same- that's generally when I do most of my homework ahaha._**


	24. Chapter 24

When we got to the palace, Loghain was waiting for us with a group of six guards, one of them most likely Cauthrien. "What is the meaning of this?" Loghain asked, the second we were close enough for his words to reach us. "I have returned. My country needs me," Cailan answers. "Where in the Maker's name have you been? Who is that with you?" he demands, stepping forward. "It is a long story, old friend. It would be best if we continued this discussion in my study," Cailan responds, looking every inch a king. I stood straight beside him, trying to look regal, or at the very least, not stupid. Loghain hesitated, then let out a growl and turned to lead the way. He wasn't in armor, which surprised me, but then I supposed that it was impractical to wear armor constantly.

The palace was, well, typically palace-like and huge. There were carvings and tapestries and paintings on the wall, all of various kings or dogs or battles. It was surprisingly like the castles back on Earth, and it reminded me of a field-trip I'd been on, where we'd gone on a tour of one of the castles. I didn't even remember the name of the castle we'd gone to. I shake my head and move closer to Cailan. He glances at me, gives me a small smile, and then reaches out to link his fingers through mine. It takes us quite awhile to get to the study, and I can feel disapproval radiating off of Loghain. When we do get to the study, Cailan takes his spot behind the desk, and has a servant pull up a chair next to him for me. I sit down slowly, hesitantly, and I have to fight the urge to draw my knees up to my chest.

"So, boy, why don't you start talking?" Loghain asks, leaning back in the chair and crossing his ankle over his leg. He looks relaxed, but I can still see the tension built up. "After the battle of Ostagar, I was left for dead. Maker, I almost was dead. I don't blame anyone for leaving me. The Grey Wardens found me after the battle ended, and they dragged me away and nursed me back to health. I've been traveling with them until I felt I was indeed well enough to return to Denerim. This woman beside me goes by the name Arya, and she was traveling with the Wardens although she is not a Warden," Cailan explains, calmly. "And are you this friendly with all Wardens?" Loghain asked. Cailan stares him down, a slight frown on his face. "No, I can't say that I am," Cailan answers lightly. "Cailan, you must know how this looks. The King of Ferelden getting involved with a knife-eared bitch-" he begins, but I surge to my feet and cut him off. "Listen here, _shemlen_ ," I snarl, and I almost vault myself over the desk, but Cailan places a steadying hand on the small of my back as Loghain stands.

"Loghain, I will thank you if you do not make such remarks towards my companion. If you continue to make these remarks, I may even have you thrown out of the palace. She will be treated with respect," Cailan interjects. "I am in a unique situation. I was not always an elf, nor am I from this world. You will show me respect, or I will set you on fire and watch you burn," I say, standing back and crossing my arms. "Hah, a little girl like you?" Loghain snorts derisively. "A little girl who came to this world with knowledge about future events," I retort. "Arya, this isn't how we planned on telling him," Cailan says. "Yeah, well, my plans always fall all to hell within ten minutes anyway, so fuck that," I say. "Start talking, girl," Loghain says. I fight the urge to pace as I begin to explain.

"Once, the ancient elven empire relied on the Fade. The Veil didn't exist. There were mages, leaders, called Enavuris. They became revered as gods, and Mythal was the best of them. She cared for her people; protected them. And once, there was a lost and lonely elven girl, a girl who'd been orphaned in a war that was not hers to fight, and she was brought before Mythal. I became Mythal's chosen, and then Mythal was murdered by the others in their lust for power. I died defending her temples, and then I was born again, many times. The most recent time, I was born into another world, one that is not here. And Mythal clawed and crawled her way through the ages to reach another woman. Flemeth spent almost two decades with a ritual to bring me back, and here I am," I say. Loghain barks out a derisive laugh.

"You expect me to believe all that, do you?" he asks, crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't expect you to do anything. I have given you the truth. You can do whatever you wish with it," I answer. He stares at me for a few heartbeats before walking closer. I try not to shrink myself down, but then he claps me on the shoulder. "You've got guts, girl, I'll give you that. So, Cailan, how are you going to break the news to my daughter that you've found a mistress?" he asks, and just like that, the worst was over. Well, in regards to Loghain, at least. Cailan hesitated for a moment too long, and I could tell that he was trying to decide whether to tell him about the extent of our plan, or anything else. "Oh, Maker, boy, don't tell me you've got any foolish notions of making her anything more than your mistress," Loghain said, sighing heavily and pinching the bridge of his nose. "That is a discussion for Anora and I to have," Cailan answered briskly.

"No, Cailan, Anora's thinking about running off with that Cousland boy. Can you imagine the scandal? We're in the middle of a Blight. We need to appear united," Loghain says. "Wait, what?" Cailan and I say at the same time. "You have ears; you heard me," he grumbles. I push Eldris' hood off of my head and run my fingers through my hair. "Then we need to speak to Anora. And probably Cousland. What's his first name; Lysander?" I say, and this time I don't stop myself from pacing. "Yes, it is, but first I think you should listen to what I say," Loghain answers, stilling himself and crossing his arms. "I have a plan myself," I return, and my pacing takes me to the window, where I stop and stare out.

"Arya, perhaps you should speak first. You are...intimately involved," Cailan says, and he sounds so formally distant that my spine straightens and I clasp my hands behind my back. "Anora and Cailan need to seem like they're united, at least until the Blight is over with. So Lysander and I stay out of the picture until then, and then afterwards, depending on how Anora reacts, Cailan and Anora split and then they're free to do whatever they like," I suggest, turning away from the window to face them again. Loghain shakes his head, and then he begins to pace. "That will never work. Ferelden will not accept an elf on the throne, and I know that's what the boy wants. I suggest Cailan and Anora stay married, however, Cailan will take you as a mistress, and Anora will take Lysander as paramour. It's most likely the only way that there will be an heir to the throne, and it's most likely the only way to make everyone happy."

I frown. The sound of that isn't so terrible, but I still feel a little...strange, knowing that Cailan and Anora are technically married. "That...sounds a lot better, and a lot more likely to succeed, than our original plan," Cailan admits. He turns to me, looking for a sign of approval. I cross my arms over my chest and lean back against the window. "I'll only agree to it if we talk to Anora and Lysander and get their approval," I say, finally. "Very well. Would you like to do that now, get it out of the way?" Cailan asks me, finally standing and walking over to me. He tugs my arms away from my chest and links his fingers through mine. "I-yes. Loghain, uh, would you please go get Anora and Lysander?" I ask. He heaves a heavy sigh. "I suppose. By the way, whenever you finish with that conversation, I'd like some proof. Your word is well and good and all, but it isn't enough," he says, and before I can answer he's out the door.

"So, how do you think this will go?" I ask, chewing on my bottom lip. Cailan frowns, running his fingers through his hair. "I have no idea. I mean, if push comes to shove, we could always invite them to join the party," he says, winking at me. "I mean, I'm not averse to polygamy," I answer, with a sly grin creeping over my face. "I'll keep that answer in mind," he replies, lightly. I had been partially joking when I answered him, but polygamy wasn't something I would protest, if Anora and Lysander were the type of people I could get along with. And I had a feeling that they were. Damn, things were turning out radically different than they would have turned out back home, and mostly, it was for the better.

* * *

 _A/N: So, listen, hear me out: polygamy. Or polyarmory. I don't really know. Basically, I am pulling everything out of my ass and I also kinda want Arya to end up making out with Anora because why not actually. This means that the next few chapters will be Arya getting to know Anora and Lysander, and Cailan getting to know Lysander, and such. I'm kinda excited for it, actually. Also, Tabris in the cells? Yeah, she's going to become kind of important and will appear shortly._

 **So, opinion time. How do you all feel about the possibility of polygamy? How do you want that to work? Let me know please. Also, if anyone has anything to add about Tabris's character (personality, looks, etc) I'm open for opinions because I haven't really developed her yet.**

 _Asilyessam: Lysander will definitely get his revenge and everyone will be there to keep him from going too far. Or, at least, if all goes to plan. Also, Loghain wasn't desperate enough to go to Howe because he wasn't being a tyrannical asshole. Loghain's also gonna flip whenever she pulls out the computer and it's going to basically turn into "why do you do this to me yoU'RE GONNA PUT ME IN MY GRAVE WITH THIS CRAP" and it's gonna be great maybe if I can pull it off. And I know, like, Solas isn't as big of a jerk as Howe is like why can I punch Solas in the face and not stab Howe in the chest or kick him in the nuts like w h y._


	25. Chapter 25

When Anora walked through the door, every inch a queen, my first thought was _oh no she's hot._ And she was confident, too. And I was probably being gay. But that didn't matter. "So, my husband returns, dragging another woman with him," she says, and I could listen to that voice for days. "I tried to discourage him," I comment, from my place by the window. I felt better standing, even though my feet were starting to ache. Anora snorted in response. "I bet you learned that he is not so easily discouraged," she says, a faint smile on her face. "I did indeed," I answer, leaning on the wall with one shoulder, my hands clasped in front of me.

Lysander entered after Anora. He was beautiful, too, and I was a little more nervous about meeting him. He was a complete unknown for both me and Cailan. His skin was a dusky brown, his hair was long and dark, brushed back out of his face almost carelessly. He wasn't wearing armor, but he had daggers strapped to his thighs. If I was better at reading people, I could probably have inferred something about him from that, but I sucked at reading people, therefore I couldn't. They sat down, Anora adjusting her skirts and crossing one leg over the other, and Lysander sprawling out in his chair, lounging comfortably like he was at complete ease. I could see tension, though, and he was anything but comfortable. Unless that was his natural state.

"So, we are here to negotiate our relationships?" Lysander asks, and oh god his voice is beautiful. "That was the plan, yes," Cailan says, and for a moment we all just sit there, looking at each other but trying to keep it from being obvious. "Well, uh, we should probably get started," I say, and Anora's eyes flick over to me. "Yes, we should. I would like to propose an idea," she says, her eyes finally moving away from me. "I'm interested to hear it," Cailan says, and his voice is just barely polite. I narrow my eyes at him. If he says anything rude, I'll probably, I don't know, hit the back of his head or something and tell him to not do that.

"You're the type to get jealous, so I suggest that Lysander and I keep to ourselves, and you and...her keep to yourselves. That way there won't be any hard feelings. We'll come together to rule the country, and we'll do our duty, but our private time is just that," she says, her voice cold. I must be seriously missing something. "Hey, yeah, that sounds nice and all, but that's just a breeding ground for resentment between all of us," I say. Cailan shoots me a look, but I don't pay too much attention to him. "And what would you suggest?" Lysander asks, sitting up, almost like he's going to stand. "I suggest that we at least try to talk to each other. If we hate each other, we hate each other, and we should leave it at trying to be civil. But if we keep to ourselves, we're just going to end up hating each other regardless, and that could probably be avoided. So, maybe I should get to know you two, and maybe Lysander should try to get to know Cailan," I answer.

"If we can keep from killing each other, I think that'd be a fine idea. At least in theory, it sounds nice," Lysander says, giving me an approving grin. "Should there be some rules, to keep us from killing each other?" Anora asks. I push myself off of the wall, and I thank all the gods that might ever have existed ever that I didn't fall. "I think the biggest one is that if there's anything that makes someone obviously uncomfortable, we stop immediately," I say.

"That's a good one," Anora agrees, and I kind of want to make out with her. Great, this isn't gonna be awkward at all. Maybe I should tell my boyfriend that I kind of want to make out with his wife. That'd go over smoothly, I'm sure. "There is something you all should know about Arya, though," Cailan says, and I want to hit him for giving me zero notice. "Yes, yes, let's get it over with now while both of you are here," I say, groaning as I move over to stand behind the desk with Cailan. "This should be good," Lysander says, an adorable crooked grin on his face. "Yeah, well, it's super fuckin complicated and you're probably going to call me a liar and tell me I need to get my head checked. Goddess, I don't even know where to start," I complain. "I suggest starting with the elven thing," Cailan says, leaning back, his hands behind his head. I narrow my eyes at him.

"Right, so, the elven thing. I may or may not be bound to the service of an elven goddess. Who is kind of dead. Because she was murdered. And I died trying to protect one of her temples. Which was not fun. But! I kept being reincarnated. And so, the most recent time, I was reincarnated on another world. It's a really fuckin awful place I don't recommend it to anyone, but there's someone who spent years trying to bring me back here. Her name is Flemeth and she holds what's left of the elven goddess that died. Which is why she's only kind of dead instead of totally and dead and my god this sounds like the Princess Bride," I say, and then I snap my mouth shut. I should probably stop talking. I do things like that when I get nervous.

"An elven goddess?" Anora says, her eyebrows raised skeptically. "Yep. Elven goddess. Mythal, specifically, in fact. So, okay, I have some proof about the Earth thing. Which is the other world. Goddess, I'm bad at this," I groan, and Cailan has the gall to laugh at me. "Well, sweetheart, if I'd known this was going to be this entertaining I'd have brought drinks," Lysander says, and I turn my death glare onto him. "Arya, would this be easier if you knew us better?" Anora asks, standing and walking over to me, taking my hand in hers. "I...probably. But we don't need to wait. Just, uh, bear with my ramblings?" I ask. She smiles, a soft and warm thing. "Of course, dear. After this, I think you and I should go talk. Girl things, and all," she says, and my mouth goes dry. "I...yeah, that'd be nice," I say, and Cailan laughs again.

"So! Proof!" I say, clapping my hands and pulling my computer out of my pack. I turn it on. "All right, this glorious bastard can do a lot of things. It's, well, it might seem like magic, but it's not. It's just a machine. It's kind of like a puppet show with no one controlling it. Do you have those? Anyway! So, I can do a lot of things on here. I can play music. And videos, which are like, moving plays? I can show you!" I say, clicking over onto Google Chrome. I'd charged the thing a few days ago and hadn't used it since. "Are there other things it can do?" Lysander asked. "A lot. I can talk to people on it, and I can look up any information, and these keys with the letters on them let me type things," I explain. I'm probably the worst at this. "Show us," Anora says. "I, uh, I'll play music first," I say, and I press play. _Ain't No Rest For the Wicked_ starts playing, and Anora purses her lips and nods her head. "Yeah, you think it's good until you've heard it sixty times in a row," Cailan says. "Don't even lie, you would totally play songs sixty times in a row if you knew how to work this," I say. He rolls his eyes, but he doesn't protest.

"Now, show us a videos," Lysander said, the word strange in his mouth. "We'd have to gather around to watch it. And just one is a video. If there's more than one it's videos," I say. "I say we do it," Lysander says, and after a few moments, we're all gathered together. I end up settled in Anora's lap, and Lysander is curled up in between Cailan and Anora. "Well, hey, maybe this will help us bond," I say, as I go to Netflix. "That depends on what you make us watch," Lysander says. I grin and go to the horror movie section. I pick one that I've watch and know is good and press play.

By the end, Lysander is curled up on Cailan, and they're holding hands, both of them barely looking at the screen. Anora's arms are crossed, somewhere up above my head. "Honestly, that wasn't scary at all. It was so fake. The blood wasn't even the right colour!" she says and I can almost hear her rolling her eyes. "It was still scary!" Cailan protests. Anora shakes her head, the movement slight and subtle above me, and then the door opens and Loghain enters. "You've been in here two hours and I'm kind of concerned. I see now that I was right to be so," he says, crossing his arms and glaring at us. "Do you have a problem with my affairs, Father?" Anora asks, voice icy cold. "You know my feelings on this matter," he returned. I could sense the glare she was giving him. "Right, uh, maybe we shouldn't fight right now," I say, and I sit up.

"Yes, I think that's best," Anora agrees, and she puts a hand on my elbow. "Regardless of whether you fight or not, I need to see you, Arya, in private. I need to talk about your...story," he says. I stand, closing the computer and holding it in one hand by my side. "You could have done that earlier," I say, suddenly wary. "This is...something personal," he said, so I finally give up and walk over to him. "Very well. Let's go somewhere else," I concede. He gives me a tight nod and spins on his heel, leading me out into the hallway. "I have a study farther down the hall. It isn't far," he tells me. I don't say anything, just follow him into his study. It's...bare, compared to Cailan's. There are no paintings on the wall, it's smaller, and all he has is a desk, a fireplace, a single chair, and a few bookshelves filled with files. He moves aside some things on the desk and gestures for me to sit. I perch on the edge, one foot pressed to the floor, the other swinging in the air.

"You mentioned Flemeth in your story," he said, after a few moments. "Yes. It is...complicated," I say, after a pause. "I met Flemeth, once. I was with Maric," Loghain murmurs, so softly I almost don't hear him. He sounds so sad. I get the feeling that he isn't through talking, and after a few moments of silence, he seems to shake off some old ghosts and starts talking again. "When I met her, I knew nothing of her aside from the legends. I didn't trust her," he said, his voice louder, now. "There are few people who would trust her," I answer, settling more comfortably on the desk. A ghost of a smile flickers across his face. "Could you tell me more about her?" he asks. I push myself off the desk and go to stand in front of the fire. It's burning low, the shadows flickering and dancing, and I stare into them.

"I...do not know of Flemeth the woman. Not well, anyway. I could go on for a lifetime about Mythal. Mythal saved me from a life of slavery, and in return I gave myself to her. I swore to serve her for all of eternity. And Creators help me, I loved her. I loved her like any child would love a good and kind mother, and I think that perhaps she loved me too. But Mythal was murdered by Elgar'nan, the god of vengeance. He...he thought that she had had an affair, and he was angry, so he killed her. And then the Evanuris and their forces stormed Mythal's Temple, intent on destroying the Vir'abelasan. A...friend and I held them off long enough for the sentinels to seal the temple doors. I don't know the rest of the story first hand, but Flemeth was betrayed by a lover as well. Mythal heard her, calling out through the ages, and she clawed her way through the ages to her. There is not much of Mythal left, but Flemeth holds whatever there is, and Flemeth sensed me on Earth. She spent seventeen years with a ritual to bring me back, because I was, by all means, hers. That is truly all I know," I say, and I could feel the memories of all the other lives I'd lived clamoring in my head, Bellanaris at the forefront.

It is silent for a long time. Finally, I turn around to face Loghain. He glances up at me, and he gives me a nod of respect. "Then I thank you, Arya, for telling me this story. It's getting late, though. I am unsure of whether the others have stayed in Cailan's study or dispersed. Tymal, could you come in here, please," he says, raising his voice on the last part, and a young elven servant cracks open the door and slips inside. "Yes, Teryn Loghain?" he asks, his voice small. "Have Cailan and the others left his study?" Loghain asks, his fingers steepled on the desk. "Yes, Teryn Loghain, they have. They've gone to their rooms," the servant answers, twisting his fingers nervously in the hem of his shirt. "Very well. Take Arya to the room the others prepared for her. Offer her a change of clothes, and water for bathing if she needs it. Let Cailan know where she is as well," he instructs. The servant bows, and then leads me away, through twisting stone corridors and up several flights of stairs until we reach an ornately decorated bedroom.

"This is to be your room, miss. There should be a change of clothes in the wardrobe. If you need help changing, I can do that, or if you would be more comfortable, I can call in a female servant. There should be someone up with something to eat in a few moments," he says, shifting nervously once more. "Thank you, Tymal. I can undress myself. Uh, I may not eat anything right now. I'm not feeling very hungry, but if someone would leave the food and some candles, I may wake up during the night and eat then," I say. He nods, and bows before backing up. "Yes, madame," he says, and then he is gone. I shut the door gently and walk into the room proper. It's huge, and, like Tymal said, there is a change of clothes on the edge of the bed.

I have only managed to pull my boots off when there's a knock on the door. I pad over to it, pushing the hood off of my head, and an elven woman stands there, a tray of food in her hands. She looks angry, almost ridiculously so. "Here's your food shem," she says, thrusting it into my hands. She takes a moment to look at me then, and her eyes widened almost imperceptibly. "You're no shem," she says, and then she steps into my room without being invited, taking the tray from my hand and setting it down on the bedside table. "I'm not. My name is Arya," I say, taking the hood off completely. I continue undressing. "My name is Anaba Tabris," she says, standing near the tray, shuffling from one foot to another. I almost drop the shirt I'm holding my hands. "I've heard about you, Anaba," I murmur. "Oh?" she says, stilling. "Yes. You were...you killed someone important, and they put you in the dungeons. A friend of my told me," I say.

She crossed her arms defensively over her chest. "It was some stupid shem noble. He killed my husband and one of my friends. Are you going to condemn me for that?" she asks, anger rippling off of her. "I think you did the right thing. I would have done what you did," I say, softly, quietly, and it is a moment before she lets out a breath and deflates. Her anger has left her tired, so tired, and still, she is fighting. "Do you want to be here?" I ask, gently, stepping closer. "I...no, not really. But if Anora let me walk free, the shemlen out there would kill me," Anaba says, and she looks lost and so _young_.

"I can help," I offer, and I don't even know how yet, just that I need to. "How?" she asks, her eyes narrowed. "Let me talk to Anora. I'll see if you can be my personal servant. And then we'll incite a revolution. I won't let the elves stay like this. I'll kill an entire army by myself," I say, and Anaba grins at me, a predatory wolf smile. "Deal. I look forward to working with you," she says, and then she turns to walk out the door, stopping when she gets there to bow. I smile, and then I continue getting ready for bed.

* * *

 _In a time before the Evanuris were the Evanuris, a time when war was brewing but had not broke, a little elven girl grew up among the crystal spires of Arlathan. It was a great and magnificent city, and the little girl felt privileged to live among the treetops. She would run through the streets and play in the gutters until one day the war broke out in a blinding flash, and the streets the girl played in flowed with blood. She was older, old enough to pick up a staff and fight, so she joined the army. She fought alongside another girl, one who went by the name of Mythal. They fought and bled together, and then she met a boy who called himself Lanaste. When the war was over and Arlathan was restored, the elven girl chased the boy through the streets she used to play in. Sometimes he would let her win, and she would catch him, but other times they didn't stop running until they were far away from the glittering spires. Those times, they would collapse in a pile together. Sometimes they would wrestle, other times they would look up and watch the stars. While they played and laughed and loved like children, Mythal and the other generals rose through the ranks of power and flirted with godhood._

" _Should we be worried?" Lanaste asked one day, his voice hushed. The elven girl rested her forehead against his. "No. Mythal will be fine. She can handle herself," she said, and a few months later Dirthamen put an an arrow through her skull and a knife in the boy's throat._

* * *

A/N: I tried? Idk man. I just. Do not know. Oh well.

Asilyessam- I hope the meeting where Loghain talks about Flemeth went right; I've not read the books so I have no idea how Loghain's meeting with Flemeth actually went uh? I tried.I hope you like the chapter though!


	26. Chapter 26

The next morning I woke up alone for the first time in a long time. I stretched, taking up almost all the space on the bed, and woke up slowly. In fact, I didn't get out of bed until Anaba came in, a pack in her arms. It was one that I'd left with Leliana, one that contained all of the dresses I'd bought. "Your Warden friends arrived late last night. They brought this with them. They're in the war room and should be for quite awhile, but Queen Anora wishes for you to join her in her chambers," Anaba says as I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and let them dangle. "All right. Will you help me get dressed? I can never lace up any of my dresses by myself," I say. Anaba smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. They are still hard and angry, and it would take centuries to soften them, I think. "Of course. I had to wear a dress similar to my wedding. Shianni had to lace it up for me," she says, and her voice shakes but doesn't break. I stand and cross the short distance to her. "I am so sorry that that...fuckboy shem killed your husband and your friend. If you hadn't killed him already, I'd kill him myself. But we'll use this. We'll use this to turn everything around. I don't know how yet, but we will," I promise, and Anaba nods her agreement.

I strip out of my pajamas and pull the red dress on. It's my favorite, and I leave the necklace I have on this time, let it nestle against the exposed hollow of my throat. Anaba laces the back of it up wordlessly, and she runs her fingers through my tangled hair when she finishes. I pull my boots on, and then Anaba speaks. "Would you like me to fix your hair, elven style?" she asks. "Please," I answer, and she guides me to sit down in front of the mirror. It takes about twenty minutes for her to do, ten of it spent brushes the tangles out of my hair, and by the time she finishes my hair is up in a beautifully intricate braid. "Thank you, Anaba. It's beautiful," I say, reaching up a hand to feel the braid. She swats it away gently, and this time when she smiles, her eyes soften just a little. "Don't mess it up. But thank you. My mother, Adaia, taught me," she says, and I know enough about Adaia to appreciate what it meant for her to tell me. We sit a few moments in silence, while I continue to admire the braid and pretend that I don't notice how sad Anaba suddenly is.

"Well," she says, stirring suddenly, "you should probably go see Anora." I start to feel a little nervous, but there's nothing I can do. "Probably. Uh, could you show me the way? Also, if you wanna come by afterwards and hide in here, that's cool," I say. She smiles again, a tight and controlled smile. "Thank you. I'll show you to Anora's rooms. I think she had plans to have a late breakfast with you, and then spend the day drinking and chatting," she informs me. "Sounds...interesting," I say, and Anaba is grinning as she leads me out of my room and into the twisting hallways. I take only a brief moment to grab my computer, just in case I need it. Anora's room isn't far from mine, although with this maze I don't think I'll ever be able to find myself around without assistance.

Anora is settled into a chair by the window, her elbows resting on the table and her hands propping her chin up. "Arya! So it seems you finally awaken," she says, a teasing glint to her eyes. Anaba leaves me at the door, a soft smirk on her face as she bows and backs out of the room. There are two glasses of wine at the table as I settle myself across from her. "I thought we should get to know each other. We can move to the couch if you would be more comfortable there," she says, and her fingers twitch nervously in her lap. "I'm fine here, for now," I answer, and I try to relax and make myself comfortable. "Very well. Help yourself to some wine," she says, so I do. It is sweet and heavy, and felt rich on my tongue.

"Anaba said you wanted to spend the day talking?" I ask. "Yes. If you'd rather do something else, though, don't feel obligated to talk to me all day," Anora answered. One corner of my mouth quirked up in a grin. "Anora, I always make time in my day for beautiful women," I say, and she actually blushes. "Well, I hardly think that I'm that," she responds, looking down. "Yeah, you might be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," I reply. This time, she is the one who smiles. "You honor me," she says, and then I've already finished my first glass of wine. Anora refills it for me wordlessly. "So, tell me about you," she says, and I snort.

"Do you want the heavy stuff first?" I ask, and a soft smile flits across her face. "You tell me a deep, dark secret, and I'll tell you one," she offers, and that sounds like a pretty good deal. "Yeah, all right. I, uh, well. I'm a mage," I say, and her eyes widened almost imperceptibly. "Shouldn't you have mentioned that yesterday?" she asks. "Probably. It was my idea to hide my magic, but I only intended to hide it from Loghain at first so he didn't ship me off to a Circle," I reply. "I have some ideas on how to prevent that. But, in honor of our...deal, I suppose I should tell you something about me. I don't have a lot of secrets, but I...I assume Cailan how long we've been trying for a child?" She asks, and I drain the rest of my wine before answering. I hadn't expected the conversation to get this heavy this quick. "He told me you'd been trying for a long time," I answer, softly. A bitter expression crosses her face, just for a moment, before she schools her features. "It was successful, twice. I...I lost the baby both times before I even knew. Cailan doesn't know. The only person that knows is the healer," she says, and I can hear the pain in her voice. I reach across the table, taking her hand in mine. "I'm so sorry. I've never had any experience with that myself, so I can only imagine what you went through," I say, and she tightens her fingers around mine. "Yes, well, it was awhile ago," she murmurs, and we sit in silence for a few heartbeats, our hands still clasped.

"Uh, I don't have many deep, dark, and terrible secrets, but one time I snuck into the city pool when it was closed with my friend Bella. We made out and then we almost got caught and arrested for it. After that we kind of drifted apart and never talked again, but it was fun," I say, a nervous grin on my face. Anora laughs, a clear and beautiful sound. "That's quite the story. You know, something similar happened when I was younger. My father had grounded me for something or other, but Cailan came to see me anyway, and we climbed out of my window and up onto the roof. My father heard us and thought someone was trying to attack. I've never been as embarrassed in my entire life," she says, laughing again, and I want to hear more of the sound. I drain my glass of wine, and I can't remember if it's my third or fourth. Fuck.

Anora releases my hand and stands, walking over to a cabinet. My eyes are drawn to the swing of her hips, and I have no idea why I suddenly want to throw her onto the couch and do unspeakable things to her. She brings back whiskey instead of wine, and when I take a drink it is warm and rich, and the resulting burn was beautiful. Somehow, we move to the couch, and before I know it, amidst all the small talk, we've finished the bottle off and she's got another in her hand and we are well on our way to being absolutely trashed.

"By the way, Arya, that dress looks absolutely stunning on you. But I think it'd look better on my floor," Anora says suddenly, and I almost spit out my drink. I swallow heavily instead. "You know, I was thinking the same thing about your dress," I say, and I thank every single god and goddess that ever existed in the history of ever that my voice sounded normal. "Well, what do you say we fix that?" Anora asks, standing up and struggling to unlace the back of her dress with one hand, the other gripping a bottle of wine. I stand up, placing my glass gently on the table nearby, and reach behind her, undoing her dress for her with only a few fumbles. She let it slide off of her shoulders until it pooled around her on the floor, and only then did she put her wine down, reaching around behind me to unlace mine. It falls to the floor in a crumpled heap next to hers, and then she pushes me back down onto the couch. I fall heavily, and I'm already reaching up for her when she straddles my lap, my hands resting lightly on her hips, and I have no idea how this situation developed like this so suddenly.

"If you don't want this, just say the word, and I'll retreat with my tail between my legs," she tells me, hovering unsteadily above me. I pull her down until her lips meet mine instead, and she grins against my lips, her tongue sweeping across my bottom lip. My hands go up, trailing along the smooth skin of her sides and over her shoulders. I tangle my fingers in her hair, careful not to pull, and then let it down so that it spills in waves over her shoulders. Her hands grips my shoulders and she shifts down so that she's sitting properly in my lap. I nip her bottom lip, then swipe my tongue over it. She lets out a breathy sigh, pressing closer against me, and I move away from her mouth, trailing kisses down her jaw and neck. I stop, running my tongue over a section of smooth skin, giving her time to pull back. She doesn't, so I start sucking, and she lets out a throaty moan. I pull back to observe my handiwork, and the door creaks open. I look over in time to meet Cailan's eyes, and I have ample time to see the smirk on his face before Anora turns to look at him, a frown on her face and an adorable crease between her eyebrows.

"Are you just going to stand there? Either join in or leave," she demands, and my hands have found their way to her hips again. Everything seems bright, especially Cailan and the light from the hallway. "I think I'll leave you two to your bonding. And, based on the smell in here, your subsequent hangovers in the morning," he says, retreating as quickly as he'd entered. Anora turns back to me, rolling her eyes, and somehow afterwards she's sucking on my neck, before she moves lower, her tongue moving over my collarbone. "You know, I don't think the two of us are going to have any problems," she tells me, and then she's rocking against my knee and I let out a groan, reaching behind her to untie her breastband. She tosses it across the room and I pepper kisses over her chest.

Somehow, we end up at the bed. She pulls my bra off, tossing it away, and then pushes me down, following me as I hit the mattress. "You are so much better at this than Cailan," I say as she drags her tongue along my skin. "That's because I know what I'm doing. Cailan nor Lysander do," she responds, and she rolls over so that she's laying beside me. "Are we done?" I ask, and she curls up against me, her head on my shoulder and one arm thrown across my waist. "For now," she responds, so I tug the blankets and curl around her, tangling our legs together. We're both out like a light.

* * *

 **A/N: So here we are they got drunk and made out and Cailan's cool with it. He and Lysander probably ended their day laughing about how miserable Arya and Anora are going to be in the morning and by probably I mean that's exactly what happened. In the next chapter, plot will probably return but I'm not sure yet because it's not been written because everything I do is poorly planned and not thought out at all. Hope you all enjoyed this!**

 **Asilyessam- I'm glad I did that right! I was so worried because I hadn't read the books and I couldn't find the scene online (aka on the first page of Google Search) so I had no idea what transpired whenever Loghain met Flemeth so I tried to give it more of a "I miss my bro Maric" vibe.**


	27. Chapter 27

_Bellanaris dreamt. Some nights, she was a free and fierce elf, living far away from the crystal spires of Arlathan. She was a master at stealth, then, and whenever she would come across slavers, she would wait until they were asleep and slit their throats, killing them swiftly and silently and leaving their blood to soak into the ground behind her. She would be gone by the time they bled out. Other times, she was a scared and lost and lonely girl, clinging to the iron bars of a cage on a wagon that wouldn't stop. Once, she had found herself near a cabin in the forest, blood that was not hers coating her hands, and she had screamed and screamed then. It was days later when she had finally risen, rinsed the blood from her hands, changed her clothes, and set out in a direction she'd never been. She didn't even know who had killed her parents, only that it had happened and she had found them and all the crying in the world wouldn't bring them back to life. She'd turned into the free and fierce elf, then, and she was more often than not callous and cruel until she had been beaten into submission again. When she was brought in front of Mythal, in front of the Evanuris, she had turned into that callous and cruel girl again, with her hair tangled wildly around her face and anger nearly consuming her. "It was your agents who killed them," she snarled, directing her glare at the one known as Falon'Din. "It was. They did so on my orders," he said, a smug smirk on his face, and she had long since committed the lines of Falon'Din's vallaslin to her memory, and had tracked down the elves who had murdered her parents. "Gods bleed like regular men," she told him, and his smirk turned into a snarl. "You're just an insolent little girl with no idea of the forces you're toying with," he told her, and her spine straightened. "I know exactly what I'm toying with. You're a bully, and nothing more. You have power and you use it to hurt those who can't fight back," she said, and her voice was steady and even and cold. Mythal had snorted then, turned to face her brother-in-arms. "She's not wrong, you know. You've always been like this," she had said, and Falon'Din had stalked out of the chamber with his tail between his legs. "Are you going to take her?" Fen'Harel asked from Mythal's side, and Bellanaris bared her teeth._ I'd like to see you try _, she thought, because she was, above anything else, free. "Nothing will make the child mine aside from her own choices. I will, however, accept her into my house. She would not do well with the others," Mythal answered, and something in Bellanaris broke again. Instead of giving in, instead of letting the pain consume her, she turned it to rage, to anger. "There's not much you could do for me," Bellanaris said, and Mythal had only smiled at her._

I woke up still tingling with anger. Or maybe that was the massive fucking hangover that I was going to have to deal with. Or maybe it was the fact that Anora was sprawled over top of me, her head nestled under my chin. Or maybe it was all of those things combined, but Anora wasn't awake yet so I kissed the top of her head and snuggled closer to her. I fell asleep again for another couple of hours, and the next time I woke my entire body ached and Anora was sitting up on the edge of the bed, examining a tray of sandwiches. "Cailan and Lysander want us to wake up already," she tells me, her voice rough with sleep. I stretch, letting out a whimper. "Do we have to get up?" I ask, and my voice is rougher than usual, too. My tongue feels like it had been glued to the top of my mouth, and I was never drinking again. "I'm afraid we do," she tells me, but neither of us move for a good five minutes.

There's a knock at the door, then, and Anora and I both look up, expecting it to be Cailan or Lysander, but instead it is Anaba. "Arya? It smells like a brewery in here. Come on," she says, and she steps into the darkened room, and moves to stand at the side of the bed. "Are you coming to get me, mom?" I tease, and a faint smile flits across her face. "Yes. You need a hot bath and your own bed," she says, and a warm bath does sound a little bit like heaven at the moment, so I swing my legs over the bed. Anora stops me, and she digs her fingers into my cheeks sloppily, leaning over and kissing me as thoroughly as she could at the awkward angle. "It's been fun. We should do this again," she says, and I'm surprised at home I much I agree. "We should. But maybe we should try it sober," I say, and she flashes a needle-sharp smile at me as Anaba wraps a robe around my shoulders and scoops my dress up off the floor. The lights in the hallway are far too bright for my comfort, but Anaba's hand is steadying on my shoulder as she leads me through the twisting corridor maze.

There's already a bathtub set up in my room, directly in front of the fireplace. Steam curls up from the water, and I almost get in without taking off the robe or anything. Anaba stops me, her fingers deftly undoing the loose knot and letting it fall to the floor. It is then that I remember I am still wearing underwear, so I peel those off too and finally sink into the water. It's deliciously hot and some of my aching muscles are automatically soothed after a couple of seconds. "Anaba, I think you are now my new best friend," I moan, and she laughs. "Your towel is on the bed, when you decide to get out, and there's some sleeping clothes there as well. I'll be by later with something for you to eat," she says, brushing my hair away from my face and giving me a gentle smile before leaving.

I sit in the water until it grows cold, and then I drag myself out of it and towel off. The pajamas that she provided was comfortable, although it was nothing more than a shapeless gown. I crawled into the bed and snuggled down under the covers, sleeping for an hour or two until I felt the bed dip down. My eyes flew open, but it was only Cailan. I sit up, my hand going to my head as it throbbed. I noticed as I curled into his side, his fingers combing through my hair, that Anaba or someone had been in sometime while I'd slept and removed the tub. Cailan shifts, scooting farther onto the bed and laying back halfway. I curled against his side, my head on his chest and his heartbeat steady in my ear.

"You aren't mad, are you?" I ask. Cailan chuckles, a warm and rich sound. "Of course not. If I was angry, I'd have said something last night. Lysander and I got to know each other rather well while you were, ah, getting to know Anora. Perhaps you should spend some time with him as well," he suggests. I stretch, a toe-curling thing that leaves me melting into the bed. "I should," I agree. He leans down, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "Tomorrow, we're meeting with Alistair and Eldris to decide what to do next. Yesterday was spent telling everyone what we'd already done, and what we still hadn't done. Do you want to join us?" he asks. "Yeah, that'd be great. I'm not a tactician, but I do have an idea of what might come next," I answer. "You're not terrible with plans," he says, and I snort. "Yeah, thanks, but I totally am." I can feel him shake his head and press another kiss to my head before we sink down further into the mattress. I fall asleep again a few minutes later.


	28. Chapter 28

I woke up entirely too early for comfort, Anaba shaking both myself and Cailan awake. "Five more minutes," I groan, burrowing deeper into the bed. "If you don't get up and get dressed now, you'll miss breakfast and you'll be hungry and until lunch," Anaba says. I groan again, but I throw the covers off and sit up, rubbing at my eyes and yawning. Cailan's sitting up on the other edge of the bed, but he looks entirely too cheerful for the time of day and I contemplate hitting him with my pillow. Instead, Anaba pulls me off the bed and strips me before I'm entirely aware of what's happening. "I could do this myself," I say, and she just clucks her tongue and begins dressing me. Cailan moves around behind us, and I assume he's getting ready as well. Anaba probably brought a change of clothes in here for him.

When she finishes tying up the back of my dress, she guides me to the vanity and sits me down, wordlessly brushing my hair out. "Anaba, you really don't have to do this. I can dress myself. I feel like I'm taking advantage of you," I say. She smiles around the bobby pins held in her mouth. "I'm only doing my job. If you really want to thank me, you can give me a raise," she says, and I shake my head slightly. She tugs gently on my hair, reminding me to keep still as she does the back of my hair up in the same elaborate braid that she'd done the other day. By the time she's finished, Cailan's ready to go as well.

"Is breakfast in the dining hall, or is there food ready in the war room?" he asks as I stand, stretching. "It's in the dining hall. Teryn Loghain thought you'd be spending far too long in the war room without having breakfast there," she answers, and Cailan thanks her before linking his arm through mine and leading the way navigating the awful maze of corridors. "I'm never going to be able to find my way around here," I complain, and he smiles, leaning over to kiss the top of my head. "You will eventually. You'll be staying here, after all," he says, and something inside of me feels warm and loved at the thought.

Everyone else is already at breakfast, Eldris hunched over his own miserably while Alistair and Leliana chatter cheerfully beside him. Morrigan is deep in conversation with Loghain, and I join Eldris, sitting next to him and filling a plate. "It's too early for them to be that cheerful," he complains. "I agree. We should punch them in the face for it," I say, and Eldris lets out a tired chuckle. He looks a lot more tired than he has been, and I wonder what's wearing on him. I don't ask, though. This isn't the place for that. There's no way in hell that he'd open up with everyone around him.

We finish eating relatively quickly and Loghain leads our merry little band to the war room. It's not far, only a couple of turns, and I think I can get back on my own, even with my poor sense of direction. The war room doesn't look anything like I'd pictured. Admittedly, the one I was picturing in my head would have been a weird mashup of the war rooms in Skyrim and the one in Dragon Age: Inquisition. This...looked like a conference room, with a map spread across the table. We all file in and take seats, and it feels extremely offical. I feel important, for once. Lysander and Anora join us a few moments later, and Lysander takes a seat next to me while Anora sits on Cailan's other side.

"So, where do we start?" Alistair asks. "Do you mean in general, or in regards to the Blight, or…?" I ask, leaning back in my chair and crossing my arms. "I meant where do we go from here. What's the best tactical thing for Eldris and I to accomplish," he says, a slight grin on his face. I contemplate for a moment, which is actually not at all before I start talking. "Well, obviously, you two shouldn't have anything to do with the political situations. So, we have, what, two types of situations? Unless I'm missing anything, we need to take out Arl Howe and deal with the mess in the alienage for the political part, and then we still need to get the assistance of the elves and the dwarves," I say, and Cailan nods. "Yeah, that's what we've got left to do, which is actually probably harder than we'd think."

"I'm going after Howe. I don't care if the rest of you help or not, but that bastard killed my parents and almost killed me. He killed Oren and Oriana, and he's going to die. By my hand," Lysander says, and I can respect his anger. "You're not going by yourself. You'll get yourself killed. But we have enough people that we can split into two teams. I can go with Lysander, and another couple of people can come along, and we can go confront Howe. We'll have to come up with a good plan for that, but I've got some information on him unless something's gone tits up and it's not like it should be," I reply.

"Right. I'll go. Cailan can stay here, and the three of us should be enough to deal with Howe. We'll try to do this diplomatically, and I do have the authority to arrest him. We'll arrest him, schedule him for an execution, and Lysander can take his revenge," Anora says. It's a good plan, and Cailan and Loghain both agree. "It's better than nothing," Lysander concedes, falling back into his chair, his feet propped up onto the table. "Well, that's all well and good, but where should Eldris and I start?" Alistair asks.

"If you want to do Orzammar first, you should wait until Wynne and the others arrive. You'll want as much help as you can possibly get for that. I, however, have a suggestion. The four of you, plus Puppy if you want, can go ahead to the Brecilian Forest and try to find the Dalish elves. I'd like to go with you for that, but I probably shouldn't. Anyway, you do that and resolve that situation, and by the time you get back the others will be here. I don't know how Anders feels, but we can send a message telling them to head to Denerim as soon as he's able," I suggest. Eldris leans forward, a grin on his face. "I'd quite like to meet Keeper Zathrian. Marethari spoke of him fondly. Clan Sabare has had many dealings with Zathrian's clan in the past. He might even have news of Sabare," he says, and I can see how badly he wants to go home.

"Well, that sounds like a plan. I hope you can get us to the Dalish," Alistair says, his last remark aimed specifically at Eldris. "I can, yes. I know the Brecilian Forest quite well, and that includes all the possible sites for setting up camp. Are you sure you don't want to come with us, lethallan?" he asks, glancing at me. "I wish I could. There's so many things I'd like to learn by speaking with a Keeper," I say, sighing wistfully. Maybe a Keeper could help me with the memories bouncing around in my head. "Come with us. Cailan and Anora will have the political situation here well in hand. They can wait until your return to handle the alienage situation, if you really want to help with that," he says, and I realize Eldris wants me to come along. He wants me to meet more of the Dalish, especially now that my ears mark me as one of the People. I look to Cailan, asking for permission silently. "As much as I'd hate to send you somewhere dangerous without going along, I'm not going to stop you. We can handle Howe without your help, and the Dalish mean a lot to you. Just be careful, okay?" he says. I make eye contact with Eldris. The decision is wholly in my hands, and I don't know how to feel about that.

"I'll go with Eldris. I'll try to get information about some of the things I've been seeing. I'm not sure if they're memories of Arlathan, but I think they are. It is...odd enough that I think I should consult a Keeper," I say, and Eldris' grin broadens. The rest of the conversation fades into planning out specific details of the trip. Leliana tasks me with writing the message to Wynne, mostly because I have actual pens from my backpack that are easier to use than a quill and I can't really contribute to the discussion anymore. I inform Wynne of what's going on and what the plan is, and then ask her to come to Denerim as soon as they're ready to travel.

We're in the war room for another hour or so before the conversation ends. I'll head out in another hour with Eldris and the others, and we'll get underway tonight. Anora offers to send the message to Wynne, sending her fastest rider. Cailan goes with me and helps me pack. He also gives me a large amount of gold. "You be careful, okay? If you don't come back to me in one piece, I'll kick your ass," he says. I grin, reaching up to kiss him. "I'll be fine. I promise. I'll be back before you know it," I assure him. He pulls me into a hug. "Don't say goodbye, though. I hate goodbyes," I murmur against his chest. "Okay. This isn't a goodbye. I'll see you later, though," he replies, grinning cheekily. I roll my eyes, nudging him playfully. "Listen here, you ass," I say, but then he presses me against the wall, his fingers digging into my sides lightly. I shriek, trying to twist away from him, but there's nowhere for me to go. "What are you going to do about it?" he teases, and I let out a mock-growl, bringing my arms up to his shoulders and pulling him down for a kiss. His fingers relax and he kisses me back. "I'll miss you too. A lot," I say, sighing against his lips. He rests his forehead against mine. "I'm serious, though, be careful. You may know a lot of things about this world, but the Brecilian Forest is dangerous. I trust Eldris, especially considering the fact that you're the only one that he's properly opened up to, but Eldris isn't a god. He can't guarantee your safety. Just come back to me, all right?" he says. I smile, softly, and run my fingers through his hair. "I promise. I'll come back to you and Anora and I'll even come back to Lysander," I say, and he grins, kissing me again. Despite how worried we both are, I'm excited. I've spent so long learning everything I could about the Dalish and their lore and even though the ending of Trespasser was like a kick in the gut, I'll get some answers first hand from the Dalish. And maybe I'll even get some answers.


	29. Author's Note- Not a Chapter

Hello, everyone, it's me here (I mean, who else would it be?). This isn't a chapter update, so don't get too excited, but I do have some news regarding this story.

I'm having trouble writing it like it is- in first person. Awhile back, I started editing the first few chapters and I posted them on ao3...in third person. I've been editing quite a bit, lately, and I've found myself struggling to write it in first person. Rather than just start changing pronouns and tense all of a sudden, I'm going to stop writing new stuff and go back and edit all of it. Once I get it all edited, I'll update it here and then I can start continuing the story again.

A few scenes will be added, a few will be removed, and a lot will be rearranged. Overall, the edited version is going to be so much better (and worth going back and rereading.) I've gotten a feel for what mistakes I've made and such, so hopefully I'll get some of them fixed.

So, in short, I'll be MIA for awhile in concerns to this story. If you want to find it over on ao3 and read it as I update, it's got the same title and shouldn't be too difficult to find.

I am kind of sorry that I couldn't keep writing while also editing, but if I'd tried to make myself write in first person, the story itself would have suffered. I hope you all understand and bear with me through this!


	30. Not A Chapter- Author's Update 2

So, once again, this isn't a chapter or anything, but it is a pretty important announcement. I've gotten through twenty-four chapters of the rewrite, and while there aren't extreme changes, I have made quite a few to make the story flow better. I've decided that I'm going to keep this version up for awhile, if only so I can look back through the reviews when I need to. I may decide to take it down later on, but if I do it'll be in a few weeks. The new version should be up soon, for anyone interested in that.


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